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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be irritated by what this sonographer said?

456 replies

maja00 · 10/08/2013 13:09

I recently had my 12 week dating scan. I declined the nuchal translucency scan, so was just going for the standard dating/measuring.

As soon as we got into the room the sonographer confirmed that I had declined the NT scan. The scan went as expected, baby looks fine etc.

At the end of the scan the sonographer said "I know you declined the NT scan, but I had a quick look at the baby's neck and it all looks normal. I would tell you if there was an obvious abnormality there".

Now, is it just me or is this not really in the spirit of us declining that test? If the sonographer had said it looked abnormal, then we would have been in exactly the position we wanted to avoid Confused

I understand that the sonographer was trying to be helpful, but AIBU to be a little annoyed by this?

OP posts:
LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 10/08/2013 13:20

It is odd that he/she mentioned it, given he/she knew you didn't want the test. I guess he/she thought it would be reassuring for you to know that everything was fine, but I think they could have just said everything looks absolutely fine. It was odd that he/she was so specific. I guess their intentions were good.
You are not wrong to be annoyed as you had made your feelings clear. Maybe just mention in passing to your midwife that you were not happy with how the sonographer went about things. And ask her to pass on feedback to the sonographer that when dealing with Antenatal scans to respect the parents wishes.
In your case it was good news, but there is a chance that the sonographer would look for someone else (despite their wishes) and find something and mention it to them. I think that their practise does need to be looked at really.

Original poster
maja00 · 10/08/2013 13:21

Yes, it was the way she said that if it had looked abnormal she'd obviously have told me - when surely if I'd wanted to know that I'd have asked for the test?

OP posts:
Roshbegosh · 10/08/2013 13:26

Oh yes make sure she is hauled over the coals for trying to be helpful. If you moan to the midwife she has to act on it and a sonographer will end up having a disciplinary procedure to face. Go ahead if you think that is right and she will learn to be careful to say as little as possible to all her patients in future, just in case.

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 10/08/2013 13:28

That bit is wrong and does need to be highlighted to someone.
I would mention it to my midwife if I were you, or you could make a complaint to the Ultrasound department directly.
They need to respect your wishes, and that of all expected parents.
As you say, if you wanted to know you would have had the test in the first place.

Original poster
maja00 · 10/08/2013 13:28

Do you not think women should be able to decline tests then Rosh? Surely if a patient doesn't want to know something, that should be respected?

OP posts:
SaucyJack · 10/08/2013 13:31

I actually think foetal anomaly tests are a bit of a grey area in that respect maja as it isn't the mother's health that could potentially be affected by a lack of knowledge.

You certainly can't decline important tests for a birthed child afaia.

ImperialBlether · 10/08/2013 13:31

Would the test have potentially harmed the baby? If so, maybe she thought that's why you declined it.

Tbh I think if you complain because a HCP has reassured you that your baby doesn't have a health problem, you really are being unfair.

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 10/08/2013 13:32

Roshbegosh I am not suggesting a formal complaint. The sonographer is not likely to be hauled over the coals for that error. More likely an informal chat would be had, just to reiterate to staff that they should not go against patients wishes.
The sonographer had no reason to mention anything, other than just to say everything looked fine.

ImperialBlether · 10/08/2013 13:33

Just looked it up - didn't have that scan in my day. No harm to the baby, so it was just that you were prepared to have a baby no matter what its medical problems. That's great but isn't it also great to know that your child won't have those specific problems?

Turniptwirl · 10/08/2013 13:34

The somographer should've just said everything was fine.

You declined the test and everything looked fine anyway so there was no need to go into it at all!

I think you should mention it to your midwife. Make it clear you aren't really angry since everything was fine, but that if you are given a choice you expect people to respect that choice.

Roshbegosh · 10/08/2013 13:34

Complaints aren't informal. If you said something to her at the time fine, but if you say it to the midwife for it to be reported back to the ultrasound manager, yes it's formal.

ImperialBlether · 10/08/2013 13:34

Don't you think it would be better for the hospital to know in advance if there were problems with the baby? Don't you think you would be better prepared, in every possible way? It doesn't mean anyone would push you to have an abortion.

mamij · 10/08/2013 13:35

Maybe she thought you may want to know, but didn't want to do the test. You didn't mention whether you'd said you didn't want to know about abnormalities.

andadietcoke · 10/08/2013 13:36

You have no way of knowing whether she would have told you if the NT looked abnormal - you can't assume based on intonation that she would have done. I'm sure she was just trying to set your mind at ease - you could well have been one of those women who worry about it after refusing the test. The test itself is combined screening, taking into account both bloods and measurement - neither are used in isolation, so she didn't necessarily disrespect your decision in any way, she was just trying to help.

JerseySpud · 10/08/2013 13:37

tbh i think yab-abit-u here

At the hospital here you have the NT check done but can decline the blood tests for Downs which is what i did

Original poster
maja00 · 10/08/2013 13:38

Imperial - this test doesn't tell you if there is going to be a problem with the baby, it gives you a level of risk expressed as a 1:xx chance something is wrong. I am not prepared to have further invasive tests to know for certain, so just knowing a level of risk isn't helpful to me.

Does it really matter why I want to decline a test anyway? Surely I have that right?

I don't think I will complain, I'm just irritated. If the sonographer had told me it did look abnormal I would complain though.

OP posts:
Original poster
maja00 · 10/08/2013 13:39

andadietcoke - she specifically said she would have told me if it was abnormal.

OP posts:
MidniteScribbler · 10/08/2013 13:39

The sonographer told you your baby looked haelthy. What a bitch!!! Make sure she gets sacked. The daily mail will b happy to help you out I'm sure.

Catnap26 · 10/08/2013 13:39

My husbands response to this post is

"Isn't that just like saying "now I know u don't want to know the sex of the baby but don't go out and buy anything blue"

Roshbegosh · 10/08/2013 13:40

Yes she was wrong maja and she said she looked at the neck, not just the nuchal anyway. She hasn't followed protocol and that is serious, not a little chat with a midwife. I am pointing out the consequences for the sonographer and I think she was well intentioned and possibly misinterpreted. We're you clear that you didn't want to know any results at all from the scan or was it only the NT test you didn't want?

eccentrica · 10/08/2013 13:40

I also declined the test for similar reasons. I don't think you should take it any further,but yanbu to be irritated by it.

Original poster
maja00 · 10/08/2013 13:41

Is there a difference between declining a test, and declining to know the results Confused

I would have thought that by saying I didn't want the NT test done, it was obvious that I didn't want to know the results.

OP posts:
Roshbegosh · 10/08/2013 13:42

No catnap because the gender is the last thing sonographers care about. Literally the least important thing of all.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 10/08/2013 13:43

I was told similar and never thought about it! I took it in the spirit of her saying the baby's body looked fine...all limbs in place etc. I think YABVU!

HoldMeCloserTonyDanza · 10/08/2013 13:43

Are you in the UK?

In Ireland the NT check is not routinely offered (they will perform it if you have other risk factors) but in practise the sonographer will often subtly check it out nonetheless.

There can be complications with delivery for some abnormalities. A c-section may be needed, or a paediatric specialist might need to be present for the birth.

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