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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be irritated by what this sonographer said?

456 replies

maja00 · 10/08/2013 13:09

I recently had my 12 week dating scan. I declined the nuchal translucency scan, so was just going for the standard dating/measuring.

As soon as we got into the room the sonographer confirmed that I had declined the NT scan. The scan went as expected, baby looks fine etc.

At the end of the scan the sonographer said "I know you declined the NT scan, but I had a quick look at the baby's neck and it all looks normal. I would tell you if there was an obvious abnormality there".

Now, is it just me or is this not really in the spirit of us declining that test? If the sonographer had said it looked abnormal, then we would have been in exactly the position we wanted to avoid Confused

I understand that the sonographer was trying to be helpful, but AIBU to be a little annoyed by this?

OP posts:
Roshbegosh · 10/08/2013 14:06

Her impression forgetful was that it looked ok. She did not do the careful measurement and put it with the blood results or anything like that. She did go against protocol to reassure the OP if she was referring specifically to the nuchal appearance, similarly if she had said that the nuchal looked big it would be going against protocol. I still think she was well intentioned and it would be a pity for her to be disciplined for trying to be helpful. It would make her so careful, stilted and frankly inhuman about what she says in future that her communication will be complained about next.

slightlysoupstained · 10/08/2013 14:06

From the way she put it, I wouldn't assume that she definitely would have told you if there was an abnormality. "I would tell you if there was anything obvious" is probably something she says numerous times a day, though obviously not appropriate in this case.

Is there any wording she could have used that would have been okay? E.g. if she'd asked "I realise that you don't want the NT scan, but if I had noticed there were no abnormality, would you want the reassurance of knowing that?"

Except I guess the above is still telling you anyway!

Rooners · 10/08/2013 14:06

I'm a bit confused by this.

I think I need more information.

  1. Does the hospital have a statutory responsibility to LOOK for evidence of abnormalities even if they do not measure exactly the area involved? I am thinkingfor the baby's sake.
  1. If you were not told and your baby had down syndrome, would you be Ok with that knowing that there could be serious issues with its health pre and post natally, and that it might benefit from surgical interventions at either stage?

I'm just thinking that often DS presents with related issues such as heart conditions, and it could be that the hospital would put these before the wishes of the parents if it felt something could be done to help the baby.

I am the same in that I would continue a pregnancy if the child had DS (in my mind I would, anyway, it's not happened to me) but I would want to know so that I could prepare myself and also, so the baby could get the help it needed/extra scans/etc etc

Rooners · 10/08/2013 14:07

Also why did you have the scan? iyswim?

Burmobasher · 10/08/2013 14:08

Yabu

jammiedonut · 10/08/2013 14:09

Ywnbu if there was an abnormality and she'd told you, when you'd declined the test.
There wasn't though, and she told you it looked normal. Not sure if you need to be irritated when the situation you were trying to avoid didn't actually occur?
By all means mention it next time you have an ultrasound, as I'm sure she meant well but ultimately didn't respect your wishes, and runs the risk of upsetting other parents.

MerylStrop · 10/08/2013 14:11

As she didn't find anything abnormal from her glimpse, you don't know whether she would indeed have told you.

I also find your position a bit confusing. Is the nuchal fold test a separate procedure? Would you have not wanted to know about any other anomalies in the scan, or specifically just nuchal anomalies? Why have a scan if you don't want to know about the things you find out in a scan?

It's surely a grey area. Are HCPs not also obliged to tell patients if they see something amiss?

Original poster
maja00 · 10/08/2013 14:12

Rooners the scan doesn't tell you if the baby has DS.

OP posts:
Original poster
maja00 · 10/08/2013 14:15

Meryl I specifically declined the nuchal.

OP posts:
MrsJohnDeere · 10/08/2013 14:17

Yabvu

LaVolcan · 10/08/2013 14:18

She would not be performing her duties correctly if she did not do these things, if a problem is found she must act on it.

I'm puzzled by this. If a problem is found, but the parents don't want that information, what action can be taken? The foetus doesn't have any rights until its born.

I don't think you are being unreasonable OP. I turned down a scan for exactly the same reason - termination wasn't an option as far as I was concerned, and I didn't need them to confirm my dates, so what was the point of 5 or 6 months worry for something you couldn't do anything about?

pumpkinsweetie · 10/08/2013 14:19

Yabu, she may have wanted to set your mind at ease. Nothing more, nothing less.

ThatsSoVanquish · 10/08/2013 14:20

I know where you are coming from. We declined NT and blood tests that would just give a likelihood figure. I wasn't interested in having an abortion so didn't want to line myself up for invasive/risky tests or months of worry. I didn't see the point of getting told "There's a 1 in 10/50/2000 or whatever risk your baby has Down Syndrome (or whatever). I had routine scans as I wanted to know that by baby was OK, normal size etc and also to identify any abnormalities that could be prepared for, such as heart defects (which she was high risk for). I don't know why people find this so hard to understand

I would have been delighted if the sonographer had said that things look good wrt to the nuchal fold, because naturally I was still concerned about my baby. I just wonder if the sonographer was trying to give you reassurance and over-egging things? Surely she wouldn't have mentioned anything if there was something wrong.

She should understand this, but it would be a shame for her to get into trouble. Why not approach her/give her a note next time you are in to highlight this. That should be enough without getting her into trouble.

Congratulations on your pregnancy btw!

strawberry34 · 10/08/2013 14:20

Yabu. She was reassuring you, I'm shocked you've reacted this way.

ImperialBlether · 10/08/2013 14:21

The more I think about it the more shocked I am.

Rooners · 10/08/2013 14:21

I think it would help if you answered some of our q's Maja.

I for one don't understand whether the scan is taking place for the child's or the parents' benefit and how the hospital stands in this situation.

ImperialBlether · 10/08/2013 14:24

The child may not have legal rights but the parents and the hospital have a duty of care.

If the child has a problem, it won't necessarily mean a termination is needed or even offered. It might mean, though, that treatment is available which would reduce or even resolve the problem.

Catnap26 · 10/08/2013 14:26

Ok so If every sonographer said that 'everything looks fine' if a parent has declined to know,if the sonographer said nothing would that mean that there was an abnormality?this is y I feel strongly that she should not have said anything at all and respected your wishes.

Mummyoftheyear · 10/08/2013 14:29

She / he just didn't understand your reasons for declining and was trying to be kind and super helpful. Leave it. Be grateful.

everlong · 10/08/2013 14:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThatsSoVanquish · 10/08/2013 14:30

The NT scan is for the purpose of identify the likelihood a baby has Downs Syndrome.

DS is a genetic condition. It can't be "fixed" in the womb. If you wouldn't consider an abortion for DS there isn't a strong reason to have the scan. Any abnormalities associated with DS which could be treated around birth (heart/gut abnormalities) could be checked for on the 20w scan.

When I told by Obstetrician that I wouldn't have an abortion for DS she said there was no point checking for it. However i was asked a lot about whether I had changed my mind (by midwives etc).

TarkaTheOtter · 10/08/2013 14:30

I think she was following procedure. NT screening is a specific procedure involving accurate measurements and blood tests to produce a risk factor. This is not what the sonographer did, she did her job by looking for abnormalities. Had she noticed an abnormality in the nuchal fold she should have told you just the same as any other abnormality. It is NOT the same as doing the nuchal screening.

LaVolcan · 10/08/2013 14:30

Imperial But if the parents don't want to know that the baby has some sort of anomaly then you are not going to be able to offer treatment (in utero) for the baby without telling them either.

ThatsSoVanquish · 10/08/2013 14:31

x posted -that was for Rooners and Imperial Blether - I know I'm not the OP but think I understand her position!

Preferthedogtothekids · 10/08/2013 14:31

But you didn't get the NT test done at your scan, you got feedback on the overall normality of your baby's shape. I don't think she was in the wrong, other than she presumed you be would relieved to hear that that particular part of baby looked normal. Aren't you less worried about that possibility than you were before? don't sweat the small stuff :-)

I do wonder though, if you go for the anomaly scan later on are you going to specify that they can examine every other bit of your baby in detail but they have to skip the nuchal fold area without stopping? Do you really want to know if anything at all is wrong with baby, or are you prepared to take whatever happens? If you are then you can just refuse the scan and what will be will be.

So You aren't being unreasonable, but you are being a wee bit inconsistent maybe?