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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to keep DD off school due to her period

236 replies

FrameyMcFrame · 05/07/2013 07:46

It's school sports day today and DD (11) has just come on to her period.

This would be ok normally but the school has a rule that you have to leave your school bag in the classroom so DD logistically can't change her sanitary towel at school unless she gets it out of her bag and carries it in her hand along to the loos.
Obviously she is too embarrassed to do this so she always comes home in a bit of a mess when she is on her period at school. With it being sports day, this is going to be a problem with changing and the embarrassment associated so I've decided to keep her at home today. AIBU? And what should I say to the school as a reason for her absence?

OP posts:
AtYourCervix · 05/07/2013 07:49

Do the bags have to stay in the classroom even at break time?

Primary or secondary school?

Either way that rule needs changing.

sashh · 05/07/2013 07:49

YANBU

And you need to talk/write to the school, they should have a better arrangement, something like a towel machine in the toilets, or maybe just a locker with some sanitary towels.

KlickKlackknobsac · 05/07/2013 07:49

Go into school, tell the teacher and come up with a plan- all reasonable teachers will make an exception for her.
If not you are setting a bad example.
If the school will not be flexible (unlikely) then you are being reasonable.

Original poster
FrameyMcFrame · 05/07/2013 07:50

It's a middle school (year 5 to 8).
Yes the bags are to be left in form classroom all day.

OP posts:
50BalesOfHay · 05/07/2013 07:51

You need to talk to school about the impact of the rule. Sounds like they haven't thought it through. Phone and say you'll have to keep her off unless they can make reasonable arrangements.

LindyHemming · 05/07/2013 07:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AtYourCervix · 05/07/2013 07:52

Can she not fold her towel and put it in her pocket? (Although if in sports kit I see the problem)

Sports day is foul and is only fun for about 1% of pupils and an embarrasing trial for the other 99%. Take the day off.

SweetBabyJebus · 05/07/2013 07:57

I have been known to tuck a sanitary towel down the side of my bra under my arm in a similar situation. Maybe that could work for her?

Original poster
FrameyMcFrame · 05/07/2013 07:58

Actually there are no pockets in her school uniform.
Euphimia, it's a middle school, so year 5 to 8.
She has begged me to stay off. I think she would be even more mortified if I rang the school and complained or drew attention to her in this way...

OP posts:
BabyStone · 05/07/2013 08:08

Fold the towel and tuck it in the waistband of her p.e kit

Or call the school and say she is sick?
I agree with the post about a vending machine or locker with pads/towels in it
At my work they put a small make up bag above the toilet and inside were towels and tampons (couldn't always get to staff lockers and young children around) maybe this idea would work for the school toilet

Buzzardbird · 05/07/2013 08:08

Keep her off poor lamb and then do as the above have suggested and get some help for all those poor children that have to put up with the embarrassing situation.
lots of chocolate and sunshine :)

AtYourCervix · 05/07/2013 08:10

So girls are expected to either advertise they are menstruating to the world or not change all day?

They need to change their bag rule.

And let her stay home.

Original poster
FrameyMcFrame · 05/07/2013 08:10

Yes I think they should think through a system. The only trouble with tucking the towel under arm etc is that she will be in the classroom with all the others so she'd have to get it out in front of the other kids.
And if she kept it tucked in somewher all day there would be a chance of it dropping out on the floor which would be worse...

OP posts:
5madthings · 05/07/2013 08:14

What a stupid rule!

Keep her home and do speak to the school so they can sort it out.

I remember our school doing similar and we would rummage in our bag pretending to look for something whilst trying to put tampax/pad up our jumper sleeve... Madness!

lljkk · 05/07/2013 08:16

I'd keep her off, and go in next week and explain why to the HT. Unapologetically. Way too many coping skills to expect of an 11yo.

2rebecca · 05/07/2013 08:16

I'd keep her off for the day but write to the school saying that the rule needs to be changed as it isn't fair on menstruating girls especially on sports day when girls are in their PE kits

hermioneweasley · 05/07/2013 08:16

Call the school and insist she is allowed to take her bag into the loos at breaks. You can't have your daughter missing school because of a normal biological function which 50% of the population experience.

Suzieismyname · 05/07/2013 08:21

I thought this was going to be about your DD being sick and in severe pain.
Call the school and tell them that she needs access to her bag.
Letting her have the day off because of period embarrassment is an awful message to give her.

frogspoon · 05/07/2013 08:23

That is a stupid rule.

Maybe ask the school if she can take a small bag e.g. a make up bag with the sanitary towels to the toilet, rather than her school bag.

Although I can understand your daughter's embarrassment, and it might be more sensitive to her just to keep her off school today.

beals692 · 05/07/2013 08:24

Do you have any money belts at home (ie ones that go under your clothes for carrying your money/passport when you are on holiday?) If so, could she wear one of them with a towel in it?

I do agree it is a ridiculous rule that they obviously haven't thought through and it should be raised with the school.

Tee2072 · 05/07/2013 08:25

Really stupid rule. Do speak to the school about how impractical it is.

And keep her off for today.

ExcuseTypos · 05/07/2013 08:27

I'd keep her off today too.

I would go and speak to them next week and insist that some solution is come up with.

zzzzz · 05/07/2013 08:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PaleHousewifeOfCumbriaCounty · 05/07/2013 08:27

Id totally keep her off. And eat cake together. Sports day is crap, extra crap with period going on....

PuppyMonkey · 05/07/2013 08:29

My mum always let me skive off on Sports Day. GrinI say yanbu - but I would also have a word with a teacher or the pastoral care person about the issue of the bags.

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