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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH's awful family part 2...

207 replies

curiousgeorgie · 19/03/2013 21:14

So I've started a second thread as requested...

Who would have guessed that they would be so bad as to require more than 1000 posts Wink

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 19/03/2013 21:15

Is there a link to part one? I haven't seen it.

omletta · 19/03/2013 21:16

Well done. And don't go to the wedding it's madness.

mistlethrush · 19/03/2013 21:17

I've just posted similar omletta

OP posts:
TheSeniorWrangler · 19/03/2013 21:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DontmindifIdo · 19/03/2013 21:19

Is it overseas? It's highly unlikely you'll get a passport in order to travel with a 4 week old. Esp as you're talking about over June/July - that's one of the busiest time of year, it's just not going to arrive in time...

PureQuintessence · 19/03/2013 21:21

Dont go to the wedding!

Your inlaws sure knows how to snub you!

GlaikitHasHerFizzBack · 19/03/2013 21:21

go georgie! :o

blatantly marking place

Original poster
curiousgeorgie · 19/03/2013 21:21

Well, after all this PIL situation that they caused, and now the secret CMV and total disregard, he's seriously considering telling them he doesn't want the job.

Just trying to work out the ramifications really.. But I'm really finished with them. I definitely don't want to go to their wedding even if it is just a couple of days.

OP posts:
YouTheCat · 19/03/2013 21:23

Don't go. Seriously, you owe them nothing and it could be dangerous if you've just had a c-section.

AllOverIt · 19/03/2013 21:23

Oooo a shiny new thread!

Definitely don't go. Blame the CS if you have to. Or just tell them they're fuckwits and you have better things to do with your time....

FryOneFatManic · 19/03/2013 21:23

It'll be the busiest time of the year for getting a passport.

Baby needs to be registered and have birth certificate before you can apply for passport.

At the best of times it's reckoned that you'll get passport back in 3 weeks.

With wedding being 4-6 weeks after birth, there's only the slightest chance you'll have a passport for baby.

This is your official reason not to go.

However you could send older DD with your DH, although it might spoil his golf n drinks thing a bit........Grin

Original poster
curiousgeorgie · 19/03/2013 21:24

I had already been concerned about taking the baby re passport issues & being able to book a seat. They suggested we drive but it works out at about 15 hours driving and there's no way DD would cope!! (or me!!)

I was prepared to grit my teeth and stad in line at the passport office, struggle through the wedding for their sakes and just ignore the massive cost... But now I'm of the mind that they don't care about us, why should I put myself out for them.

OP posts:
DontmindifIdo · 19/03/2013 21:26

Oh yes, tell SIL you are sooo sorry, you'd love to come to her wedding but of course, you won't have time to register the birth and get a pass port within 4 - 6 weeks so you can't go to the wedding, but don't worry, you aren't going to ruin it for her as DD is to be a bridesmaid, you'll send DH with DD on their own.

Of course, she'll have to let BIL know that dH will have ot be on DD duty so won't be able do the golf/drinks/staying with BIL the night before etc, but I'm sure he'll understand... Grin

YouTheCat · 19/03/2013 21:27

Would you be driving? That's also not usually recommended 4 weeks after a section.

FryOneFatManic · 19/03/2013 21:27

15 hours driving!

At 4-6 weeks after a CS!

Ask your midwife for her advice on that and you'll most likely get a big fat NO from her.

a) could lead to blood clots, etc as for flying but over 15 hours risk would be higher

b) it's not recommended that babies are stuck in car seat for more than 2 hours at that point without significant breaks.

ENormaSnob · 19/03/2013 21:27

I absolutely wouldn't be putting myself out for that shower of bastards.

GlaikitHasHerFizzBack · 19/03/2013 21:27

It's Ireland you are going to isn't it?

I still think you were being very very optimistic to say you would be going in the first place.

What I really want to know, what was first, your pregnancy or the wedding plans? C'mon admit it, you got pg just so you don't have to go, didn't you!!

Original poster
curiousgeorgie · 19/03/2013 21:28

I wouldn't send DD with DH... I'd worry bout her too much Blush

Just because they seem to have so much planned for DH that couldn't possibly involve her, and with the best will in the world, DH is easily influenced by PIL and BIL! she'd end up being babysat by someone she'd never met. And PIL & DH are on the top table and shes not so I'd panic constantly!

OP posts:
DontmindifIdo · 19/03/2013 21:28

Even if it's driving, you'll still need a passport. And you won't get it in time. And you won't be fit to drive that far.

letseatgrandma · 19/03/2013 21:29

Have you booked a hotel, OP?

I haven't read the end of the last thread; are you now certain your in-laws know they aren't staying with you anymore?

FryOneFatManic · 19/03/2013 21:29

You've got loads of good official reasons not to go.

I wouldn't do it for this bunch, not at all.

FierceBadIggi · 19/03/2013 21:31

Do you actually need a passport? (If wedding is in the country I think it is). If it's just for identity purposes, the birth certificate would do on the plane.
NOT that I think you should go, but for me it would be the c section (I've had 2) and the newness of the baby that would stop me. I don't like exposing babies to lots of people beofre they've had some shots tbh, I know there are people everywhere but at a wedding I bet they'll all be having a cuddle.

LittleMissFantabulous · 19/03/2013 21:31

Shameless placenarking pompommery.

Original poster
curiousgeorgie · 19/03/2013 21:32

Glakit - This sounds so much like a lie but I swear it's true! I even think I started a thread about it way back when... We were asked to have a break in TTC so we could go to the wedding. And this was after lots of miscarriages and I was luckily just starting to be treated by Mr Shehata, an amazing consultant and so taking a break would have been heartbreaking and ridiculous after I'd waited to see this doctor.

Yes, it's Ireland. I wouldn't have been driving, my DH would but it still would've been awful for DD and the baby.

OP posts: