To have thought this was racist

[turnip2012]

Ex was dropping off my ds earlier, at which point ex and dp were talking and it became a little heated. Dp kept getting cut off by ex interrupting him, at which point dp said "you're not even listening to me, maybe if you get your bloody afro out your ears you'll hear me better" (ex is part african). Dp is saying he felt ex wasn't listening as was responding with unrelated points. I felt the reference to his afro was racist, AIBU?

Sorry that made me laugh! It's not racist, it was a dig at his hair.

Yes yabu!!! It actually made me laugh a little!! I'm sure no one else thought it was racist!

YANBU

Totally unnecessary, out of order and playing on a racial characteristic. Not nice. If I were you, I'd tell him how unhappy I was about his racist slur. I would want an apology, and I'd want him to apologise to my ex.

Saying that the fact it came from your new partner to your ex partner doesn't quite sit right.

I guess you'd have to know that full context to know if 'it' (meaning DP, rather than what DP said about afro in ears ) was or is racist. You're a better judge of that than a bunch of strangers with only your OP to go on, surely, turnip?

Yabu. Dh (white British) has an afro if he lets it grow.
His mother also has thick wirey hair as does dd. Its not a trait only 'black' people have.

Did your ex find it racist?

Was his hair in his ears?

Everlong has called it correctly.

Devere - i read that it was the ex being insulted.

Thanks everyone, me and dp are sat here reading responses together, he currently has a smug grin on his face. Because it was said in a heated discussion, I guess I found it racist. Ex didn't really get the chance to say one way or another before I ushered him out!

FFS there is ALWAYS someone who will turn ANYTHING into 'was this racist'.

No, it wasn't racist. Funny, yes - racist, NO.

Racist? Not if he has an afro, no. Rude and immature? definately.

Id say it was racist.

Its not something he'd say to a white man is it?

Im surprised you are even questioning it TBH.

I bet it was heated, peoples prejudices usually come out in the heat of an argument IME.

My 16 year old mixed race son, has just asked me to point out, that if your DS is mixed race, hearing stuff like that or even having a step father who holds those views won't be good for his self esteem.

I thought that, too, Amber

Thank you for your reposes, quite a mixed bag. We are still arguing amongst ourselves over it and I'm unsure what to think. I agree that because it was in the heat of discussion to me it came across as racist.

It came across as racist because it was racist!

I think that even if it wasn't intended as racist, I find it impossible not to infer any racially pejorative comment based upon the fact that your ex partner is part African.

Its a bit of a rude thing to say but not really racist. People are always saying "wont miss them in a crowd" about my children because they have red hair (so do i) I dont get upset its just a jokey comment.

YABU

AmberLeaf - White men can and do have so called Afro hair. Unbelievable - are some of you just so desperate to find a bit of racism for the day? Do you get a prize when you find it?