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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

TO THINK MIXED RACE PEOPLE ARE TREATED DIFFERENTLY?

246 replies

MyBaby1day · 15/09/2012 04:09

As a young woman who is half Asian, half English I think this is so. I also have an illness (and maybe good genes too Grin) that also makee me look a LOT younger than my age and when people see me quite a few (especially women) smile like cheshire cats.....maybe I'm just being too suspicious but somehow I don't always think it's genuine. Kind of like spot me (smiling)......"oh sweet half Asian girl"...I walk away....YUK!, how could her Mother! Angry. Then you get people who as soon as they see a white woman in tow with a clearly looking half Asian person....lets just say the look on their face says it all!. Some people are cool with it but I just think when it happens it's oppressive and wrong!. I NEVER judge other people (who behave in a reasonably decent way) and think everyone else should be the same. Before anyone asks I am very happy about my racial heritage, tapping into both my Asian and English roots (the Asian side kind of dominates) but overall love it. I must also be fair and say I have also had prejudice of some Asian people also (but not half as much). I just thought I'de raise the issue!, it might help in the fight against racism. Your thoughts?.

OP posts:
Original poster
MyBaby1day · 15/09/2012 04:12

makes

OP posts:
deleted203 · 15/09/2012 04:33

I think it's a little sad that you assume women who give you a big smile are thinking evil thoughts about your mother! You say you don't always think it's genuine. Why not? Has it not occurred to you that people are smiling to be friendly? Disturbed that you describe this as oppressive and wrong. It wouldn't occur to me (or almost anyone I know) to treat someone differently because of their skin colour. And as you don't give any examples of anyone saying racist things to you I think it might be all in your own head. Yeah, YABVU to think mixed race people are treated differently based on these arguments. And please don't class us as all the same. Otherwise you are assuming that we are **nothing more than the colour of our skin. And that all white English women are racist.

deleted203 · 15/09/2012 04:33

Sorry...the * was supposed to say all*

LoopyLoopsOlympicHoops · 15/09/2012 04:33

I live in Asia. Works both ways.

Longtalljosie · 15/09/2012 04:47

I think if you're thinking it's racist that people are smiling at you, you may need to calm down. You could just be very pretty. I smile absent-mindedly at pretty people, I don't know why - they haven't done anything in particular to deserve it...

RecklessRat · 15/09/2012 04:57

I don't really understand your post.

Are you saying that you interpret people smiling at you as being racist towards you??

You say you "never judge people", but if you're calling people who smile at you racist you may need to have a re-think......

BebeBelge · 15/09/2012 05:04

I think yabu for describing yourself as 'half English' but clearly what you really mean is 'half white'. News flash: not all English people are white! You should know that seeing as you are not racist!

geegee888 · 15/09/2012 05:06

Hmmn, I'm also mixed race and look young for my age. But I'm European mixed race, and blond. Blonder than the average Brit. I think if you're young looking, there can be a bit of patronising going on. But I wouldn't call it racism, no more than I would call being called a "dumb blond" etc racist...I think its too tempting to go along the "I'm slightly different, look at me, no don't look at me" road, when in actual fact most people aren't that interested in you at all.

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange · 15/09/2012 05:08

Maybe it's where you live. Most of the people I know have some kind of mixed heritage. Most of the babies DD hangs out with are from more than one continent. In a couple of cases three continents in one house. Ours is only two. Chill and take smiles where you can get them.

MissPerception · 15/09/2012 05:11

I think you sound a tad paranoid.

Original poster
MyBaby1day · 15/09/2012 05:17

The poster who said maybe I was very pretty-I am Grin (but thought it was vain of me to say it!!. And yes, where I live is well-known for racial tension. @sowornout, I never said that ALL English women were like this!, and I did say I had had prejudice from Asian people also, to make it fair!. You too Loops who lives in Asia!. Terrys, I do chill, even when it happens, I notice it then it's forgotten a minute or two after!.

OP posts:
RecklessRat · 15/09/2012 05:20

Congratulations on your good looks.

Hopefully this takes the sting out of all those racist smiles you receive.

Original poster
MyBaby1day · 15/09/2012 05:24

Ha ha RecklessRat. Maybe, oh it does, I just wonder what some of them are saying.....looked back once or twice and seen it!. Sad really.

OP posts:
JumpingThroughMoreHoops · 15/09/2012 05:34

OP are you saying, but haven't phrased it very well, that in some quarters, people judge white women for having partners from other cultures? And that duel heritage children are somehow indicative of a white woman making poor choices?

That would be a common thought of my parents generation, certainly no one of my generation would think twice about mixed relationships or even pay any different attention to a child. But then I live in London, but I have seen some of those thoughts expressed in another forum where the posters were not from a particularly cosmopolitan area (but then again the posters were mainly retired men)

RecklessRat · 15/09/2012 05:40

Very sad.

Good luck in your struggle against the smiling oppressors.

Original poster
MyBaby1day · 15/09/2012 05:41

Thanks, think my point has been proven.........................

OP posts:
Original poster
MyBaby1day · 15/09/2012 05:48

@Jumping, YES!, though you phrased it better!. And yes, things are not like this in London!, much more of a melting pot!. You are right!. Smile

OP posts:
JumpingThroughMoreHoops · 15/09/2012 05:57

I think that attitude does still pervade in areas that are not diverse. The "They came over here and took our women" mentality - its how the BNP gains it's footing.

When the last Harry Potter film was released there was a radio debate on the word "mudblood", which I didnt realise was a common word in some areas for duel heritage children, several people phoned in with their stories that it had been a derogatory playground term in their youth.

So if you're having a national radio debate on something, I'd say that thing does exist. It may not be widespread. But it's there, under the surface

NamesKerry · 15/09/2012 06:24

I'm mixed race (white & Chinese). Personally I haven't experienced any racism in my adult life. People show an interest in my heritage, which I think is great. I love telling people about how my grandfather came over during the war as an interpreter for the british army, met my grandmother and fell in love etc, etc... I don't interpret smiles as hidden racism or judgement either. I think more people should smile!

Having said that though, I did experience a lot of racism growing up. Children can be very cruel

Original poster
MyBaby1day · 15/09/2012 06:29

It definately is there. I have noticed men are more vocal about it and none more so when they are drunk!. I remember once walking with my Mum, on our way to the library and we passed a drunk white chap, he looked at me then my Mum and said "P**i lover" Sad, I wanted to call the police but my Mum said no, then he said to my Mum "do you fancy me"? (sexual harrassment too)! Angry, but psychologically he felt threatened to even bring romance into it, his train of thought being, an Asian man had appealed to her-not him/the race he belongs to!. I had a good comeback but never said it as I didn't want to add fuel to the fire. Never heard that mudblood word, how sad Sad, will look out for it, I have seen 'Colour Blind' by Catherine Cookson though. I like to be judged on how I conduct myself rather than being Dual Heritage and think I had a point. The previous posters must live in a great planet! Grin, how much it cost to live there?. Look on websites like stormfront-then tell me I'm wrong.

OP posts:
Original poster
MyBaby1day · 15/09/2012 06:30

on

OP posts:
manicinsomniac · 15/09/2012 07:47

My children are mixed race (white, hispanic) and I've never noticed any negativity towards them. Mind you, they are the only mixed or ethic minority race people in our village and there are relatively few at school too so i think that reduces the likelihood of tension or prejudice

MNhoneydragonHQ · 15/09/2012 08:00

Yes people are racist about mixed heritage. That's because they are racist.

Yes. People smile. That's because their lips go up and it's nicer than frowning. I hardly think racism will be stamped out by expecting the entire populace to walk around looking like miserable cuntflaps.

Jinsei · 15/09/2012 08:01

I think it depends on where you live, tbh. There is still prejudice against mixed race couples in some backward areas, but thankfully it's rare in most parts of the country. Where it does exist, I tend to think it's their problem, not mine.

I don't really get why you think people smiling at you is racist OP - seems a tad paranoid to me, but maybe you have your reasons for this. People smile at my (White/Asian) dd all the time, but I never take it to mean anything sinister!

Jinsei · 15/09/2012 08:03

Yes people are racist about mixed heritage. That's because they are racist.

Yes, quite.