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AIBU?

TO THINK MIXED RACE PEOPLE ARE TREATED DIFFERENTLY?

246 replies

MyBaby1day · 15/09/2012 04:09

As a young woman who is half Asian, half English I think this is so. I also have an illness (and maybe good genes too Grin) that also makee me look a LOT younger than my age and when people see me quite a few (especially women) smile like cheshire cats.....maybe I'm just being too suspicious but somehow I don't always think it's genuine. Kind of like spot me (smiling)......"oh sweet half Asian girl"...I walk away....YUK!, how could her Mother! Angry. Then you get people who as soon as they see a white woman in tow with a clearly looking half Asian person....lets just say the look on their face says it all!. Some people are cool with it but I just think when it happens it's oppressive and wrong!. I NEVER judge other people (who behave in a reasonably decent way) and think everyone else should be the same. Before anyone asks I am very happy about my racial heritage, tapping into both my Asian and English roots (the Asian side kind of dominates) but overall love it. I must also be fair and say I have also had prejudice of some Asian people also (but not half as much). I just thought I'de raise the issue!, it might help in the fight against racism. Your thoughts?.

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Schmasch · 15/09/2012 19:16

"...it might help the fight against racism..." What? Your nonsensical and misogynistic OP? This is beyond naive. Your self-importance is probably why people smile strangely at you.

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IShotJR · 15/09/2012 19:17

My DS is dual heritage. Hand on heart i feel more racist tension from other races! I find english people to be polite,interested and friendly. I get so much more hassle from my OH muslim side!
I hear them say some shocking things but the dismiss me by saying "Oh,we don't mean you,dear!'

I have to totally agree with SoleSource

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dontcallmehon · 15/09/2012 19:22

I think I must be a bit of a minger then, as I'm mixed race and never notice anyone smiling at me!

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thebeesnees79 · 15/09/2012 19:39

not at all. I am half Greek half English and as far as I am aware I am treated exactly the same as everyone else

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Bobyan · 15/09/2012 19:58

Op are you the mixed race Samantha Brick?

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IShotJR · 15/09/2012 20:32

Lol @ Bobyan! Grin

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Softlysoftly · 15/09/2012 20:53

I have mixed race children, we moved away from Yorkshire to a city before having them as racism is rife in the old pit villages, I loved my home but wouldn't put children of mine through the local schools. The city has far less racism as historically it has been more mixed therefore more the norm of things.

Ironically now we meet a lot of DHs old community members (he's from here originally) I feel far far more judged on being his white mrs by the Asian women! Not so much the men but you can see some women looking thinking Hmm.

Just goes to show there shouldn't be generalisations, black white Asian Chinese, male, female, rich, poor everyone has an equal and total propensity to be a wanker Grin

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Latara · 15/09/2012 20:54

I smile at most people because i like to (shock, horror) ... smile & look happy!

Definitely hilarious to think someone would assume that smiling is racist!

Racist is when your Pakistani friend gets told to ''hurry up, P**i'' or when your cousin gets called a ''cacker'' (horrible local term for a Romany).
Racist is when a colleague is rude about a man ''because he is a typical Jew''... & it is also when an Iraqi colleague gets told ''you should be working in a kebab shop''...

I can sadly provide lots more unpleasant examples; but trust me, they don't include smiling.

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Shagmundfreud · 15/09/2012 21:01

i live in a predominantly African-Caribbean community. The school my mixed race children go to in London is 80% non-white.

The most unpleasant, overtly racist behaviour I have witnessed and been told about has been directed at black women with very pale skinned children by other black women and men.

Sad

When my husband was made redundant from the small company he worked for, along with 5 colleagues, he was the last to get a new job despite being the best qualified and one of the most experienced. He got interviews, and would get good feedback from the interview, just not get the job. It doesn't suprise me therefore to hear that black men in particular find it much harder to find work than similarly qualified white men.

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MyBaby1day · 16/09/2012 09:15

Dinosaurs proves my point, her friend has actually sat and had coffee with people and then they slagged her off behind her back-because her DD is dual-heritage!. Ever heard the phrase 'Too Sweet To Be Wholesome'?. As for the queries about my illness, I am sorry that is a private matter and I don't wish to discuss it on here. No, I am sure I'm right!.

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MyBaby1day · 16/09/2012 09:21

@sexolette, no, maybe you should shut-up, live 6 months in my shoes then see how fine you are! Angry!. Nothing strange about bringing up racism, it's very prevalent in our society.

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MyBaby1day · 16/09/2012 09:33

@Bobyan, how can I be Samantha Brick when you are!! Grin lol. @crazynana, yes, you are right, my white side is invisible to most people!. And birds, you made some good points. Thanks everyone Smile

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worldcitizen · 16/09/2012 09:36

OP you are back!!!!!

Thank you very much for your last two posts reflecting your appreciation for all the posters' inputs and views.
You sound very much like a very adorable and likeable person and I am sure adding to your wonderful personality your good looks...oh and looking much younger beyond your years...well I am sure you will be a great spokesperson in the fight against racism. Thank you, but I am off to enjoy my MN time on other threads where OP's show a little bit more form Grin

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CherryBlossom27 · 16/09/2012 09:37

IME when people smile at my son (he is half Chinese and half white), it is because he is cute! I honestly don't see anything sinister behind the smiles. Chinese people make a huge fuss of him and ask lots of questions about his age and weight and teeth, and English people are more reserved with children I find, but they always ask how old he is etc and comment on how long he is!

DH and I have spoken about racism before and he said he has never had any trouble at school or work or in the street. Maybe he is lucky, or maybe he is just an easy going person who likes a laugh. He is friends with people because he gets on with them and that includes white English, British born Pakistani, British born Indian, Indian, Somalian, mixed race white English and Philipino, mixed race white English and Japanese, mixed race English and Thai. The only person who has suffered racism is our British born Pakistani friend and I think that is because he lives in another town nearby.

This is not to say I haven't seen or heard racism because I have, mainly at work from 20 odd year old boys who are very immature and complain mainly about Muslims and also spout DM style crap about Polish people taking all the jobs Confused I think a lot of this is to do with the area they are from, there is a town nearby which has a large Muslim population and a growing Polish population, coupled with low unemployment and there have been tensions historically and I think people just copy what their families and friends say without really thinking about it.

I think it's best to acknowledge that yes, some people are racist or just plain stupid, but please don't think everyone is racist because they aren't. I think most people are nice, it's a shame it's the horrible ones that stick out and that you remember.

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worldcitizen · 16/09/2012 09:41

Cherry I don't think these kind of responses are appreciated by OP Wink

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MyBaby1day · 16/09/2012 09:42

@worldcitizen, you do that!!, no-one made you reply to mine!...cya!! Grin. But before you go thanks for all your AMAZING comments, if I didn't know any better I'de think you had a bit of a girl-crush starting there!! Wink.

@CherryBlossom27, thanks for that. your Son is considerably young by the sounds of it and I hope all does continue like that for him!. I have a tiny bit of Chinese in me too (2%) so cool! Smile. Yes, your DH is lucky, although in many situations my dual-heritage status isn't an issue, but, as has been read, on some ocassions it is! Sad. I will remember your encouraging words!!.

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GoldShip · 16/09/2012 09:43

There's nothing wrong with bringing up racism, no, but when you see it in everything IE PEOPLE SMILING AT YOU, it's getting a bit ridiculous.

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MyBaby1day · 16/09/2012 09:44

@worldcitizen, no, they are. It's GREAT some folk are not affected by racism. What are you trying to say?. Like I say live in my shoes for 6 months then see!. Next time you have a major problem in life, if I see it, I will remember to be just as sympathetic Smile

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MyBaby1day · 16/09/2012 09:46

@GoldShip, what about what Dinosaurs said?, people who actually sat and drank coffee with her friend were slagging her and her Dual-heritage DC's off behind her back?, more like being realistic I'm afraid. Out of that bubble! Grin.

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worldcitizen · 16/09/2012 09:47

OP
if I didn't know any better I'de think you had a bit of a girl-crush starting there!!

You don't know any better that's your issue Grin

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GoldShip · 16/09/2012 09:49

What dinosaurs spoke about is racism. That's a bit different from people smiling at you OP.

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MyBaby1day · 16/09/2012 09:51

@worldcitizen, it's called being sensitive!. Maybe you are the one who goes around with a blind-fold on but I don't!.

@GoldShip, yes, but they will have been smiling and chatting before slagging her off!. You see when I mentioned folk talking once we've passed?. Oh God-BUBBLE TIME! Grin

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MyBaby1day · 16/09/2012 09:52

@worldcitizen, I said if Grin

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GoldShip · 16/09/2012 09:54

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Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

MyBaby1day · 16/09/2012 09:57

Well GoldShip you are worse than imbecilic, you are a blinded one!. Some smiling may be pleasant and genuine, I think many aren't. I will stand 100% by my belief!.

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