Step children staying overnight

[Lisa249]

At the moment my husbands 2 children aged 7 and 9 stay with us every other weekend. im currently 4 months pregnant. at the moment we are having to move house, but on the current market i struggling to find a house to cater my husbands office, new baby and 2 step children staying overnight every other weekend. Ive asked my husband if he can see is children once a week for the day instead of every other weekend and them staying overnight. My husband is adamant he wants the children to stay over night and doesnt agree with my suggestion. Im getting highly stressed looking for a house to cater for all his needs i.e his children, gym equipment and office. Do you think im being unfair in asking that the children dont stay over night? That way we will find a house quicker as we dont have to accomidate the children sleeping over.

Yes. YABU.

Yes you are being very unfair I'm afraid.

Yabu

YABVU

Of course you need to find room for his children. They are his children as much as your imminent child. Good for him for being adamant.

And once again, YABVU.

You sound incredibly selfish.

Yes. I think you are being very unfair. These are his children. They deserve a place in your home.

Of course YABU! I can't believe you have to ask. Get rid of the gym equipment, not the step children...

YABVU. I cannot believe you'd even ask him to not have them stay overnight.

Yes sorry I do think it's very unfair.

They are part of the family too and just think about how they will feel. Not able to stay over and pushed out because of the new baby (in their minds)

If a compromise is needed it should be on the gym/office equipment not the kids.

I assume you knew he had children when you got together??? Imagine the scene.....you have your little bubbling bundle. You and DH split up. You find a wonderful new partner who loves you more than life itself............as long as baby stay with its own dad. Would you accept that...........thought not!!!

Poor stepchildren if this is how little regard their stepmother has for them.

Of course the children need proper staying contact with their father. They also need to have space in his home.

Perhaps though he could compromise about his office and gym equipment, then a smaller house would be ok?

Of course YABU, the gym equipment shouldn't be a priority over his children!

But that means they can never sleep over again?

YABU IMO once a week in the day isn't the same at all. I have a 2 bedroom house and recently had 3 guests staying for a week. You find a way.

Why not just buy a sofa bed? They don't have to have their own bedroom.

You are prioritising his need for gym equipment over his DC?

You have no idea what you're asking! That is so unreasonable it beggars belief.

Could you get a house with a garage and convert that into a gym/office space?

I hope, OP, that this is not a reverse AIBU. I must warn you that many people get very pissed off by those and it can lead to a bit of bad feeling.

But if you are indeed the stepmother, then you have to rethink. You should not have begun a relationship with someone with children if you did not have it in you to accept those children as as equally important as any children you might share.

Yes.

YABU

get rid of the Gym equipment.

And you do know that babies are teeny don't you? They don't take up much room at all.

YBVU - why have you decide the gym equipment is more important than his children???

FFS a sofabed in the office would be better than not having them overnight at all.

Alternatively, let him find the ideal house which meets all his needs. When he finds how hard it is maybe he'll have to get rid of the gym equipment or work out a compromise about "office" space ... e.g. a dining room doubling up as office space, or, the office becoming the stepkids' bedroom when they stay (futons, drawers for their things etc). And BTW not saying that to be nasty cos when space is tight and you can't afford as many rooms as you'd like, then you do have to think outside the box.