Step children staying overnight

[Lisa249]

At the moment my husbands 2 children aged 7 and 9 stay with us every other weekend. im currently 4 months pregnant. at the moment we are having to move house, but on the current market i struggling to find a house to cater my husbands office, new baby and 2 step children staying overnight every other weekend. Ive asked my husband if he can see is children once a week for the day instead of every other weekend and them staying overnight. My husband is adamant he wants the children to stay over night and doesnt agree with my suggestion. Im getting highly stressed looking for a house to cater for all his needs i.e his children, gym equipment and office. Do you think im being unfair in asking that the children dont stay over night? That way we will find a house quicker as we dont have to accomidate the children sleeping over.

I agree with all the other comments, it would be incredibly unfair to not be able to have the children overnight, they need their Dad just as much as your expected child will, and have just as much right to see him. What would happen if anything happened to their mother, and she was unable to look after them due to illness or injury?

I'm an evil stepmother too. I was just about to start a thread about whether it'd be fair to abandon my stepchildren in the middle of the forest.

OP; maybe we could start a secret Facebook group to discuss these sorts of issues.

Secret Facebook groups are all the rage. So I hear.

Perhaps you could leave your newborn with a overnight child-minder every night for the rest of his/her childhood, so that he or she doesn't need a bedroom, too?

We (DH, DD and I) don't have our own home at the moment, everywhere we have lived we have made sure we have a room for DSD. Even when we were overseas and knew that we would only see her for a couple of holidays a year.

DSD is now 16 and we are looking for our first (and final) home. We will be living far from families, so we need a 'guest room'. We are ONLY looking at 4 bed homes, solely so that DSD will still have her own room, not one that would have guests in when she isn't with us - because DSD is not a 'guest'. DSD is 16, and we dont see her as often as we did, but DH and I wouldn't ever think of not 'accommodating' her. DH is her dad, now and forever, there will ALWAYS be a place for her in our home.

YABVVVVVVVVU!

And extremely selfish!

I would probably just give away the baby, probably easiest all round! Then you wouldn't have to worry about all the equipment cluttering up the place, leaving lots of room for the gym stuff.

Also you will sleep better, so everyone's a winner really!

Is this for real?
If so then you are being VU and not nice.
Imagine - heaven forbid - that you and your DH split up - would you be happy if his new partner treated your child like this??

very very very unreasonable

you knew they existed when you got together and when u got pregnant

why can't they have a sofabed in baby's room? it is their sibling after all. they wud love that

get dh to help u either look for a place or plan the new layout
babies are tiny they don't need as much clutter as you think...and the older kids will be adaptable to having less space in their room.

Pull pull clap clap clap

YABU to ditch the children. Especially when he can ditch the gym equipment.

YABincrediblyU.

Nothing more needs saying, just that.

Actually, if he ditched you, there would be no need to find space for you, your stuff and the baby and you wouldn't have to look for a house for him, his stuff and his children. Win win all round.

Is this a reverse AIBU? Find it very hard to believe that you would ask this question - you surely know the answer already.

I wonder if this is one of those posts that turns out to be from the dcs mother wanting to know if she is right to be disgusted at her DVD stepmothers suggestion...?
If not then yes you are being awful

I'm surprised you needed to ask if you are being unreasonable, I think the answer is fairly obvious. YABU.

Ohhh xposted with Hawthorne

I think there are lots of solutions you're just not considering. Poisoned apples are an option (though bear in mind Prince Harry is still single and thus could reverse fruit based murder attempts), how good is your relationship with your mirror?

I wondered about the reverse AIBU too. If not then yes you are BU. And incredibly selfish.

YABVU.

I have a soon to be step son. He stays over every weekend. DP and I have two children of our own. Since we only have a box room and two other bedrooms we put our DD and DSS in one room while DD2 was in our room. At 1 year old DD2 moved in with DD1 and we just added an extra bed for DSS. It's a bit cramped but it's only for clothes and sleeping as we turned the dining room into a playroom for them all.

If something has got to go it's the gym/office. You could then feasibly have a two bedroom house and enough space for a few years. A three bedroom house and you're done. Your DH does not need a gym or an office but he does need a sleeping space for his children.

You are both looking at this all wrong. Your DH needs to know that you may not be able to find a house with all of the above. If he loves his children as much as it seems he'll just have to give up 'his' rooms until you can afford something bigger. Simple.