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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I've just been threatened

657 replies

Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 01:37

I've had the garden turned into a camp site and three children sleeping in tents aged 14. They were fast asleep by midnight. I've just had an elderly neighbour knock the door, I've left the outside security light on so they have light, it is mainly on my back garden but lights up around a little bit not
much. The children felt safer

He has told me to turn off the security light as it is keeping him up. I said don't be ridiculous it is 1 o clock in the morning and close your curtains.

He says it is a hot night and he shouldn't have to close his windows. I say leave your windows open use your curtains to block the light.

He says, if you don't turn off the lights I'll be back at 3 am and you wont like what I'll do, there are consequences and you wont like them"

I feel like that is a threat, one of the children heard it and was scared, I've woken all three children, got them inside and left the light on.

AIBU for thinking this w shouldn't be allowed to make veiled threats, scare one child and force me to get the other two in from their sleeps in the garden just to make sure this tosspot doesn't follow through with his threats which he says will happen at 3 am?

The kids and me were asleep, it was just the security light, it's not like they were causing any trouble.

What do you think? Excuse typos sleepy typing.

OP posts:

PinkSchmoo · 03/08/2011 01:42

Think yanbu to get them up and in just in case. Do you know this neighbour? Is he generally an aggressive tosser?

Mightbe vaguely perturbed if neighbour left light on at night but to doorstep someone at this time of night sounds a bit unhinged.

Darnsarfupnorf · 03/08/2011 01:45

id get in the car and point the headlights full blast into the miserable bastards window!

Solo · 03/08/2011 01:48

Security lights are very bright. Surely if they were on the boys, they wouldn't be able to sleep themselves anyway?
Of course your neighbour should not be making threats, but I would not be happy to have lights seering through my windows ~ which they do even with closed curtains...
Could the boys not make do with torches or solar powered lights? which are much less penetrative, but still effective.

Original poster

Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 01:49

When I had the night light fitted he was here to complain before the electrician had even left to have me move the direction of the light. I didn't take that much notice apart from to think he was a miserable git.

All the kids now awake and worried. What a tosser. Being in your 70's doesn't mean you get to threaten people for next to nothing at stupid o'clock.

Would I be unreasonable to call the police tomorrow?

OP posts:

Original poster

Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 01:51

solo I've been upstairs they seer into my back garden they don't seer anywhere else they do light up the garages but don't reach into people's bedrooms.

The boys were asleep I've had to get them in because I fear for their safety because of this ridiculous OAP.

OP posts:

Solo · 03/08/2011 01:58

If the lights don't actually point and penetrate his windows/curtains, then he is being ridiculous and miserable, but I have been woken up by security lights that were facing away from the windows and towards the other end of the garden/garage before now.

Still, for safety sake, it's good that you have the boys inside now and let's hope that misery guts shuts up and goes to sleep.

Darnsarfupnorf · 03/08/2011 01:59

I think your probably best rining now if your worried, i dont know what theyd do tomorow if he doesnt actualy do anything. Id ring now and play it up to get something done. hope everyones ok, more exciting than any sleepovers i ever went on at least!

ravenAK · 03/08/2011 02:02

I would've expected the 14 year olds to be asleep by now! Or at least to be managing with their own torches.

Yes, your neighbour is over-reacting & shouldn't be issuing threats, but I'd've just told the camping teenagers it was 'lights out' time.

Definitely no need to bring them all inside.

Original poster

Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 02:04

Kids all wide awake I have to take Mum to hospital tomorrow, just chatting with the kids, their parents aren'ts going to be impressed. So probably discuss it with them in the morning.

OP posts:

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 03/08/2011 02:05

It won't be U to call the police at any time if the old guy makes good on his threat, but chances are he'll be in the land of Nod at 3am and by 4.30 it'll be dawn and the fact that your security light is on full beam won't be noticeable.

Reassure the kids that everything's ok, settle them down to sleep indoors, and get some sleep yourself.

Providing nothing untoward has occurred by morning, and in the interests of neighbourly harmony, it may be politic to have a word with the old boy tomorrow evening and get to him show you exactly how your security light is preventing him sleeping if, in fact, it is.

Maybe a solution would be for him to have a security light for his premises?

Original poster

Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 02:07

raven the old man has threatened to come back at 3 and there will be consequences which I won't like. I told him I had three children in the garden he didn't care. I've had to get the children in.

What do I do risk him coming back with the children outside. Not a chance.

OP posts:

Original poster

Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 02:08

izzy Kids have been reassured though one scared as he heard him.

OP posts:

MumblingRagDoll · 03/08/2011 02:12

I don't blame you for getting them in....I would have too. But when my neighbour leaves her security light on it drives me mad...it shiines through the gaps in my curtains...even when they're closed...I dont have blinds and her light is bright....he was of course very wrong to threaten...but I don't think the light on all night was needed tbh

Jux · 03/08/2011 02:13

How was he going to get into your garden? Could you have turned on a hose and had it aimed at the bottom of the bit of fence he was likely to climb over?

We left our garden light on all night when we had a load of girls in a tent out there, but they were 10 and all had torches too. Would a bunch of 14yo boys not have been able to tackle one old man?

I suspect he would have phoned the police who wouldn't have done much, if anything; or environmental health who wouldn't have done anything until tomorrow at the earliest, and would almost certainly have been satisfied with your explanation as to why the light was on and that it was a one off, if they'd been remotely interested.

It's too late to change anything now, but I'd have left the kids sleeping out there.

MumblingRagDoll · 03/08/2011 02:17

He could be a madman jux he could have set fire to something....or worse.
you never know and t's best not to be cavalier with other people's DC.

I would never leave 10 year olds alone in tents in the garden

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 03/08/2011 02:18

In the interests of everyone getting some sleep tonight, perhaps it would be advisable for you turn the security light off.

If you can't reason with the old guy later today, call the police non-emergency number and report his threat.

Bubbaluv · 03/08/2011 02:34

Frankly you both sound a bit bonkers.
I would be totally apologetic if I discovered that I had been disturbing my neighbours sleep enough that they had to get up and complain at 3 in the morning. Surely you should have simply said sorry and turned the light off!?

Nutter number two was clearly out of line, but people do tend to be a little less rational when dewsperate for sleep at 3 in the morning (any new mothers want to vouch for that one?)

Bad neighbour/worse neighbour.

Bubbaluv · 03/08/2011 02:36

They don't need a security light. They are 14 not 4!

ravenAK · 03/08/2011 02:42

I'd not have had blaring security lights on in the first place - for 3 14 year olds tenting in a back garden?!

They really should be able to manage camping in a garden with torches. If they need the area floodlit, then maybe a bedroom sleepover is more appropriate...although I don't know where you're finding such feeble teenagers tbh!

The elderly neighbour's not really a threat, is he - rude & out of order, yes. He's only going to come back & presumably shout the odds a bit if you still had the unnecessary light on at 3am - which is practically dawn anyway.

Bubbaluv · 03/08/2011 02:51

And if you turn the lights off now, he'll be asleep at 3, not bothering you.

Bubbaluv · 03/08/2011 02:52

Raven - One of these posts says 10yos shouldn't be left to camp in a back garden - that's where the feeble teens come from!

iscream · 03/08/2011 04:59

Mitmoo, if I were you, I would be ready with video camera, batteries charged, at 3 AM, with the indoors lights all off. If he does anything, you can film it, and have proof.

Bubbaluv · 03/08/2011 05:10

Sounds like something out of Guantanemo Iscream. Keep them awake until they crack and then film it all as proof!

Morloth · 03/08/2011 05:13

Why, if you brought the kids in did you leave the lights on? Do you want to antagonise him?

IWouldNotCouldNotWithAGoat · 03/08/2011 05:15

If a neighbour knocked on my door and said my security light was preventing him from sleeping, I would apologise and turn it off. I am amazed that any reasonable person wouldn't.

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