Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

I've just been threatened

657 replies

Mitmoo · 03/08/2011 01:37

I've had the garden turned into a camp site and three children sleeping in tents aged 14. They were fast asleep by midnight. I've just had an elderly neighbour knock the door, I've left the outside security light on so they have light, it is mainly on my back garden but lights up around a little bit not
much. The children felt safer

He has told me to turn off the security light as it is keeping him up. I said don't be ridiculous it is 1 o clock in the morning and close your curtains.

He says it is a hot night and he shouldn't have to close his windows. I say leave your windows open use your curtains to block the light.

He says, if you don't turn off the lights I'll be back at 3 am and you wont like what I'll do, there are consequences and you wont like them"

I feel like that is a threat, one of the children heard it and was scared, I've woken all three children, got them inside and left the light on.

AIBU for thinking this w shouldn't be allowed to make veiled threats, scare one child and force me to get the other two in from their sleeps in the garden just to make sure this tosspot doesn't follow through with his threats which he says will happen at 3 am?

The kids and me were asleep, it was just the security light, it's not like they were causing any trouble.

What do you think? Excuse typos sleepy typing.

OP posts:
BeerTricksPotter · 03/08/2011 08:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blatherskite · 03/08/2011 08:03

You are both being unreasonable.

You admit yourself that your security light "is mainly on my back garden but lights up around a little bit" - it's probably been pissing your neighbours off since it was fitted and last night was the last straw. We have a neighbour who had a security light fitted in their back garden set to go off if anything (including the 300 neighbour hood cats we seem to have) moved in the garden. Because it was set to cover their garden entirely, the light spilled over the edges and because it was facing away from their house and our gardens butt up to each other, that spilled light shone straight into my windows. Because the light wasn't always on but flicked on and off, it really disturbed our sleep as it was like having a lamp turned on and off at random times during the night. What they did for neighbourly harmony (I never spoke to them about it but it was annoying more than just us) - and what you need to do too - is dip the light so it shone only in their garden. Even if it means the boarders are left dark at night, it's still going to put off anyone trying to break in but without pissing off those living around you. Getting the boys camping torches for their sleepovers would also be good as a security light seems a little over the top.

Of course the neighbour was being unreasonable too, he shouldn't have been issuing threats but to be honest, I probably have more sympathy for him as not being able to sleep because of someone elses selfishness - especially when they're so rude to you when you ask them to stop - would make me really, really angry too.

bellavita · 03/08/2011 08:04

Mitmoo, hope the boys and your son are ok this morning, perhaps you should have linked your other thread to this, then it might have given other posters a better understanding?

Claw3 · 03/08/2011 08:07

My old next door neighbour used to have a sensory security light, even with the curtains closed, it was like a disco with the light going on and off.

It is annoying.

LadyFlumpalot · 03/08/2011 08:09

Bellavita - Do you have this link?

bellavita · 03/08/2011 08:12

I hope Mitmoo doesn't mind

CogitoErgoSometimes · 03/08/2011 08:13

It's all about how Mitmoo is suffering from strees, the teenagers have been helping her and the camping expedition in the back garden was a kind of thank you treat. However the light was on - correct me if I'm wrong - because Mitmoo is the one that's got anxiety problems, not the teenagers. Not sure how that makes upsetting an old man any better or his response any worse....

Claw3 · 03/08/2011 08:15

I read the other thread. I doubt Mitmoo's neighbour is aware of her ds's difficulties.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 03/08/2011 08:16

OK it's the DS that's nervous.

QueenOfAllBiscuitsandMuffins · 03/08/2011 08:16

Actually that other thread backs up the old man rather than the OP, so he has had TWO nights in quick succession where the light had been on all night?

bellavita · 03/08/2011 08:17

She mentions her son in her first post.

QueenOfAllBiscuitsandMuffins · 03/08/2011 08:18

Not that I am saying the old man should have threatened the OP but in all other aspects the OP is still being the unreasonable one (especially in continuing to leave the light on, that is just spiteful and nuts)

DumSpiroSpero · 03/08/2011 08:18

How about getting a couple of these for next time.

You can also get battery operated ones in a lot of £1 shops - you can hang them inside the tents to provide enough light for the kids but they won't disturb your neighbours.

TBH security lights are a nightmare. My mum's neighbour has one that goes on several times a night whenever anything passes it (so a lot, as the neighbours have a cat and the houses back onto fields so there is no shortage of small furry creatures toddling about at night). They are in the house opposite and it is just like having full beam headlights in the window, even though it isn't pointed directly at it.

Obviously that doesn't make your neighbour terribly reasonable, either.

BeerTricksPotter · 03/08/2011 08:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ZacharyQuack · 03/08/2011 08:19

I've just read Mitmoo's other thread, and have changed my mind a bit.

YA still BU to leave the light on now that the children are inside, but I'm sorry that your son's sleepout was ruined. I hope you can find a neighbour-friendly solution that allows many more happy nights under canvas. It was nice reading how happy it made you both.

Sorry for my earlier reply, it was a bit harsh.

Chandon · 03/08/2011 08:20

OP, you were being unreasonable to your neighbour AND rude. So you and your family are more important than anyone else? Nice attitude.

So then he became very angry and unreasonable too.

Then you decided to keep the light on out of SPITE.

You are not a nice person. Neither is he.

glad I don't live in your street.

QueenOfAllBiscuitsandMuffins · 03/08/2011 08:21

The old man didn't have the benefit of Mitmoos other thread all he had was a lot of disturbed sleep.....

Also just to point out if you do start a war with your neighbour over this calling the police etc you have to declare this when you try and sell your house.

ensure · 03/08/2011 08:21

YABU. Those lights can be very annoying.

RumourOfAHurricane · 03/08/2011 08:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

melika · 03/08/2011 08:25

If my outside light comes on I can't sleep and have to get up to see what's going on. Maybe he was worried something else was going on, at his age they do tend to fret over little things. He was a bit OTT, but like you, tired.
Are you sure that the boys were quiet? Cos if I know my boys, once you have turned your back, the volume goes up!

Have you got good fences eg 6ft, cos unless the gardens are small, I find it hard to see how it would bother him.

thestringcheeseincident · 03/08/2011 08:27

They were asleep at midnight. I would of turned the light off then.
YABVU.

Claw3 · 03/08/2011 08:28

Perhaps an apology from both sides?

Then in future, perhaps warn your neighbour in advance, that things might get a bit noisy etc and for any inconvience this might cause, after all he is quite elderly?

WynkenBlynkenandNod · 03/08/2011 08:29

The other thread sort of makes it worse. I guess he put up with it the first night but then flipped the second.

Sorry things are so difficult with your DS but you really do have to think of your neighbours. Leaving a security light on and telling him to close his curtains etc is actually very antisocial behaviour and I would be steaming - at 1am I can't say hand on heart that I wouldn't have said something I'd regret in the morning, I'd have been dreading a whole summer of it by that point.

LadyFlumpalot · 03/08/2011 08:30

I think that people are being very harsh to Mitmoo. Yes, a security light left on is annoying - I should know, I have an industrial estate at the end of my garden and their motion sensitive floodlights flick on and off all night.

However, I would NEVER think of storming round to someone's house at 1am! Instead, I would move rooms if the problem got too much, have a sleep in the spare room, or on the sofa then go round in the morning and say, politely but firmly that I had had a disturbed night and I would appreciate it if it did not happen again.

Mitmoo - I will say that I think it was unwise to tell him to stop being ridiculous, maybe you should have turned the light off and apologised, but his behaviour was still not reasonable at all!

Blatherskite · 03/08/2011 08:35

2 camp outs with a security light on all night in less than a week!

and then when he asks about the light you are really rude to him calling him 'ridiculous' Shock

YABU

Poor old guy Sad