DH has asked me not to fart in bed!

[krisskross]

just bought a new bed, he thinks we will sully it with farts! i think he is being stupid and i cannot stop what has to come out.

we agreed to let MN decide.

I too think he's being stupid :)
How close to bed does he think it is acceptable? Should not be in the same room I guess.

BluddyMoFo
That has made me laugh loudly.

Can he give you the same guarantee?

I remember one occasion that DP farted in bed (in his sleep), it was a quiet but DEADLY one. It was so bad it woke me up. I almost choked!

People fart in their sleep sometimes so Hibvu.

I think he is trying to tell you something, that deep down he finds your farting distasteful and unsexy.

Im surprised he can get it up in bed if you fart in front of each other.

What about a mattress protector?
Would keep the new bed unsullied while allowing for safe nocturnal gaseous liberation too.

What about fanny farts?

Fanny farts are fine, except when the back pressure leads to a banjo string injury, when suddenly it's not fine at all.

"You don't shit with the toilet door open, farting is like toiletting. You go somewhere private to let off."
Maybe someone could inform my DS14 of this fact?
We are all quite juvenile in my house! We let them rip and then have a good titter about it!
Lifes too short to creep off to fart in private!
especially when two of you have IBS and one of you is an ageing spaniel!

fabby what about if you fart in your sleep and your partner is awake and hears it???? he might dump you for being so, so ...HUMAN!!

Oh, Fabbychick! Do not ever come to my house, it would simply be too much for you

What about pooing/farting during childbirth? Allowed? Not that sexy, but necessary....

Or, what if you do go to another room but it is still audible? Do you have to just act all nonchalant and if he mentions it, does that spell divorce?

how bloody funny is this:) i say better out than in! mind you my dh disgusts me a times. I have been prone to gagging, lol.x

fabby Go on blow one out it'll make you feel better

Oooh, I have one more question, what happens if you are staying in a hotel room, and the bathroom isn't very sound proof? Or, if you accidentally fart before you realise what is happening and so haven't been able to seek a private area in which to do it? What's the etiquette in that scenario please?

do sod off fabby

how can you be so uptight about something completeyl natural

just refrain from sharting [bgrin]

I agree with FabbyChic to certain extent.

I mean, obviously, sometimes you might not be able to hold it in and you can't control it while asleep, but deliberate farting whenever you feel like it is gross and definitely very unsexy.

DP does it all the time and then wonders why I'm not dying to have sex with him 5 minutes later

YABU

This is hilarious! Fart away i say!

what is this obsession with always being sexy??? are we not to let our partners see us in an unsexy way? are they only to view us in a sexual way?

yeah but fabby is saying we should find somewhere private to fart if you need to

I'm not talking a out squeezing them out for fun, just normal farting

why would anyone find that hideous

Can I just point out.

It is a physical impossibility for Boo not to look sexy. Especially in a red dress that she nicked from her sister

yeah too right boo

I'm not going to look sexy scrubbing the bathroom floor but I dont lock myself in to do it

get over it fabby

UNCLENCH

I fart in bed. DH snores in bed. The snoring is loud and relentless, the farting is brief and necessary. I win.