DH has asked me not to fart in bed!

[krisskross]

just bought a new bed, he thinks we will sully it with farts! i think he is being stupid and i cannot stop what has to come out.

we agreed to let MN decide.

I'm not gonna make my insides implode for any man

But why do you have to act sexy all the time?

I'm me, I don't spend my life thinking about whether my DH will find me sexy or not.

It's natural, if DH criticised me for not being "sexy" i'd tell him to sod off

This has had me in stitches.

geralinetheluckygoat I may have an answer to the hotel question. Many moons ago my DH had a romantic weekend away with his new girlfriend and he was very surprised to hear her in the bathroom with what was apparently all the taps running, until he suddenly heard a series of loud trumps! So it would appear that very prudish people think they fart so quietly it can be covered up by a tap......

I pretend to be asleep (then try not to laugh).

If you promise to fart elsewhere, will he do the same?

I had an ex who NEVER farted, I became paranoid about doing them myself and used to clench like mad - one day I was leaving his house and to my great relief finally released a rather noisy one - just as his elderly neighbour appeared. I was somewhat embarrassed.

Sorry, all that talk about fart is making me gaseous.

A solution to your delicate problem might be to seal all gassy orifices up with Sellotape?

Agree that you'll not fart in your new bed, if he won't. I think he'll explode before you do.

@ Winny Your DH farts then wants to have sex? Maybe he has a farting fetish.

And the potty mouth on Fabbychic! I'm surprised by the language you use but you won't engage in flatulence in front of DH. Your the broad that farts in the elevator and acts as if you are too posh for such an act, aren't you? lol

I remember when we got new furniture as a kid and my mom would fly off the handle about us farting directly into the couch. Just made it more dramatic and hilarious when we farted.

Ps... actually, I have shat infront of DH; happens when you live in a small flat and DD just has to come into bathroom when you are trying to have a moment.

RedGruffalo that is hilarious!

I can maybe understand wanting to hide it from your partner if you are in a new relationship but seriously when you've been together a while it is too much like hard work to leg it to a different room every time you need to fart. And what if you've got bad wind and you have to go to another room every 5 minutes, surely they would ask what you are doing and you'd have to tell the anyway.

My DP has seen me give birth, throw up all over the house (hyperemisis) and probably every other (non sexy) thing a person can do. Im not about to start holding in farts!

Try changing your diet no need for that sounds revolting.Please hope your not smoking as well(could be a fire hazard)Or try having a good dump before bed and take your time about it unless you actually enjoy farting.

aww, thanks frogs

you joining us for it frogs?? no-one is posting on teh trhead. tehy have ll disappeared.

No, of course we don't have to strive to be sexy all the time and neither would I expect that of men.

But I personally find farting off-putting. Not as in if it happens once in a blue moon, but when people don't bother to control it at all. It's on par with belching, picking your nose etc.

You wouldn't let rip in public, at work etc, would you? Why? And so why is it ok to do it in front of your partner?

Oh yeah I'll be there, I'm a cheap date me

Just raid her wardrobe again sure she'll never know [bgrin]

{grin] @ "A complete lack of disrespect"

Cupcake .
One person farts into their own hand then throws it in the other person's face.

Did you fart in the old bed without comment from him?
If yes, he is being unreasonable.
If no, you are being unreasonable.

But I for one couldn't stand dp farting in bed. I don't see why one cannot go to the toilet as the stench seems to increase with the heat under the duvet.

we really get to know each other on here don't we?

DP would love this thread.

"{grin] @ "A complete lack of disrespect""

haha, i missed that!

Did you know that you can buy fart filtering knickers?
I could never be with someone that I couldn't fart in front of, I am a very windy person!

and who the fuck is frongs???

i do, of course mean frogs.

a whole thread on farts and a spelling error is what i blush about?

All those non trumpers - are you my SIL - she doesn't trump apparently, EVER. perhaps dh got her share too?

Yeah forget 'disrespecting' him you gotta respect the bed (give it a few days and you'll see he wouldn't care less)

I do let it rip in public and DH certainly does as well as at work; he's a Chef. They laugh their asses off at each others farts and discuss what they must have ate and compare smells too. Don't be such a tight ass Winny.

Jeez, compares smells?