DH has asked me not to fart in bed!

[krisskross]

just bought a new bed, he thinks we will sully it with farts! i think he is being stupid and i cannot stop what has to come out.

we agreed to let MN decide.

have just realised this isn't in chat and shall be here for all eternity

@ figgy

Eeeeek. Omg boo why? I've just found out what vaginal prolapse is why that why?

I'm a lazy MN... I only search in the 'Last 15 minute' threads.

Glad this one was in there when I popped in. Ironically, I'm a bit gassy today.

I have no idea - she was totally and utterly pissed a little tipsy when she proclaimed that one. Not sure if dh had ever done it I would be telling anyone, and certainly not letting anyone know his peculiar (imo) sexual fantasies. bleugh

erm, childbirth ladypumpington.

Whie we're on the subject of nasty stuff what happens when you have had a baby, you can develop flatal incontinence after instrumenta births i.e. you gotta let them rip.

Not that I would know anything about that.

(coughs)

GotArt Well, we differ then. I don't consider public farting, belching, scratching your balls, picking your nose, spitting etc to be polite to others.It also extends, imo, to home.

I don't walk around the house in full make-up and immaculately attired so DP doesn't catch me at being an actual human being, fgs

Of course, if both partners don't mind, then it's fine, whatever.

Where did you get your new bed from?
We're getting a new one this weekend.
Hurrah.

Sorry I'm very squeamish about all that, I have been through it twice I don't know how.....

9while5 - I thought piles was unpleasant enough.

Oh bugger I said that outloud again didn't I

feel I may have to name change in the future!!!!

winny believe it or not don't like the in public aspect of any of the things you are talking about - on the street yuk/ in the lift etc but dh lives in my home as I live in his and it is our private space.

I wouldn't go out of my way to spectacle fart in public, but if I'm cruising down the sidewalk and fart comes on, I will let slide out. Its pretty obvious when you stop the wayside and clench your ass cheeks together to stop. You can be discreet. And as far as spitting, I do that too, but into the street cause its better than swallowing what you just coughed up. That is revolting and makes me want to puke, which I've only, luckily, publicly puke but that was due to too much absinthe.

to the non farters what do you actually do when you have a windy belly some nights?Do you actually get out of bed and walk out of the room every 5 mins.I dont go out of my way to fart on or around dh but it's near on impossible to never fart by them.

"public farting, belching, scratching your balls, picking your nose, spitting"

scratching balls, picking noses and spitting are not things you have no control over. tehy are not bodily functions. tehy dont equate with farting or burping.

Publicly puke once I meant to say.

GotArt - classy spitting
Actually spitting makes me want to vom full stop, some nasty white van driver once spat something unpleasant that had been coughed up out of the window of his van (or his passenger did) and it landed on my drivers window - still makes me retch now.......

You have to spit into a tissue surely gotart? But fart freely I agree

Pull my finger? Go on......

[bgrin]

Figgy- yes, of course. I certainly didn't mean to dictate what's acceptable in your own home if both of you are fine with it.

Sadly, we're not in agreement with DP

What about sneezing? You have a big sneeze come out of no where and then a fart unexpectedly comes out. WHAT DO YOU DO? You say, 'excuse me' and wipe the snot off the person next to you.

I don't spit right in front of someone. I wait till no one is in direct view.

Figgy that is gross, I agree. Made me gag a little.