Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH has asked me not to fart in bed!

229 replies

krisskross · 26/01/2011 21:35

just bought a new bed, he thinks we will sully it with farts! i think he is being stupid and i cannot stop what has to come out.

we agreed to let MN decide.

OP posts:
LadyPumpington · 26/01/2011 23:09

Oh was that you gotart? No wonder you were looking shifty come and clear it up RIGHT NOW!

Figgyrolls · 26/01/2011 23:09

winny do you ever accidentally fart? I do quite a lot which dd thinks is terribly funny but she is only 3, its just if it happens in public she can do lots of embarrassing me!

btw I didn't say dp was fine with it exactly Grin but has put up with it for several years and so far hasn't been put off by it......

winnybella · 26/01/2011 23:10

But surely all of you have some control over most of your farts???

I am capable of holding it in and going to the other room and by clenching making it a quiet one. Or, actually, you can sort of tell if it will be a smelly one or not, and if I judge it to be a non fragrant one, I'll let it slip out even when in company.

I'm not saying we should all cause ourselves to explode by holding it in, but the letting it rip whenever is just not my cup of tea.

Figgyrolls · 26/01/2011 23:11

gotart the fact it was summer and my window could have been open does not bear thinking about I would have been traumatised for weeks and weeks, definitely months and quite possibly years!

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 26/01/2011 23:12

figgy stop, you are going to make me boak.

JarethTheGoblinKing · 26/01/2011 23:13

Lawks... all of you with flatulence issues should meet my family. Boxing Day in their hose has a brown cloud hanging over it, and they're proud
My sister deliberately eats turkey, stuffing and bacon sandwiches as they provide the most noxious of gases.

winnybella · 26/01/2011 23:14

Figgy- yes, it happened, but only a few times. I think DP is aware of ony one, because he loves teasing me about it.

Once I was on a overnight train with DP and DS. All of the sudden I felt a fart coming and in panic I said "Oh my God, I'm going to fart!". DS heard it, unfortunately and still brings it up, 2 years later Grin

So, obviously we all fart, but there are ways to do it, imo.

Figgyrolls · 26/01/2011 23:14

see winny I knew you were a secret trumper Grin, generally the louder in this house the less stinky (of all things!) silent is definitely deadly and then we both blame the dog - wouldn't do it in front of my il's or anyone other than dh, when my dmum did one in front of dh and didn't apologies (even though it was accidental) I did get quite stroppy!

GotArt · 26/01/2011 23:15

Passing gas in bed without anyone noticing

Figgyrolls · 26/01/2011 23:16

You can all breathe a sigh of relief as I am heading to bed!

GotArt · 26/01/2011 23:17

HAHAHHSHAHA DD just farted and looked at me and said 'Ah, Daddy.' Clearly at 2 she hasn't figured out that you can't blame someone who isn't even in the house. Grin

GotArt · 26/01/2011 23:18

You cried out to God... God totally farts. We are made in his image. Grin

GotArt · 26/01/2011 23:20
winnybella · 26/01/2011 23:23

Grin at GotArt's DD. Brilliant.

Glitterknickaz · 26/01/2011 23:30

I honestly don't know how some of you tight sphinctered people coped with giving birth, kids puking etc.

It's a natural bodily function. I have ishoos in that department and no, sometimes I can't control it. Big deal.

The labradors are worse Grin

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 26/01/2011 23:31

yeah but it's ok for you, you fart out glitter Wink

GotArt · 26/01/2011 23:33
Grin
winnybella · 26/01/2011 23:37

Oh, I shat myself when giving birth. But that's different- obv. you have no control then. DP was in the room, too, and I would be very pissed off if he has said something about it.

I'm talking about letting out loud farts whenever you feel like it.

GotArt · 26/01/2011 23:42

Farting on demand is something entirely different. If you got to pass gas, you should, however discreetly you do it cause you are libel to get bloated and then cause even more problems for yourself later.

GotArt · 26/01/2011 23:44

I do believe I have just engaged in the most fart talk in my life and DH and I have been together for 20 years!

winnybella · 26/01/2011 23:48

Yes, farting discreetly, provided it's not smelly, is fine. You sort of clench and it comes out quietly.

Farting loudly every time, because you can't be bothered, is not ok.

Putting aside the manners, I find it very off putting in DP. He thinks I'm being silly and his whole family farts without any compunction- and they are upper class and all Hmm.

JarethTheGoblinKing · 26/01/2011 23:48

I take great pleasure in farting in my own house...

If DP didn't have a competitor he'd feel a bit sorry for himself

PiccalilliShinpads · 27/01/2011 00:02

Grin @ GotFarts DC

...you set yourself up for that one with your nickname lol

GotArt · 27/01/2011 02:06

Indeed! lol Grin

DeeCeeDee · 27/01/2011 05:20

hows he going to know if you fart in your sleep?isnt he going to be asleep too? or will he be sitting up with a fartometer, + pen and notebook noting number of farts? Is he a fart-free zone? how does he know he doesnt fart in his sleep? does he expect you to jump out of bed each time you feel a fart coming on? how long is the bed to be a fart-free zone? forever? or until youve 'worn it in'..ah hell part of me just wanted to see how many questions I could think of re. farting but on a more serious note its not exactly a normal request. I think there's actually something else going on in yr hubby's head as to why he is preoccupied with the bed remaining 'unsullied', I hope maybe you can sit down one day and ask him how he is feeling and whats really brought this on, and you two can have reasonable discussion..