To think SAHMs at my school don't pull their weight?

[Donningflakjacket]

Our school governing body is struggling to find someone to take over as chair, because we are all working mums or dads who find it hard to find the time to be a governor anyway, never mind the extra responsibilities of chair. There are NO SAHM on the board of governors and no SAHMs have even put themselves forward in the last 3 years - even though about 20% of the school are SAHMs.

Why are none of these people prepared to do their bit to help the school educate their child? They are more than happy to moan when the school doesn't do something well but not prepared to actually take some responsibility.

And also, if you are a SAHM don't talk to me about the pressures of work when you have no idea! And especially don't talk to me about pressure of work and then expect me to run round sorting costumes and presses for a night out.

Ok, rant over. You can throw your biscuits now.

[fbear]

The Chair of our Governors works. I think it is sometimes easier to fit the responsibilities of being a governor around work because you've already got childcare etc sorted.

I work part-time and find it easy to do things on my working day but it is really hard to attend meetings or school events on a non-working day because I just don't have the childcare.

I'm not going to throw biscuits at you because this is a ridiculous thread and a poor attempt to start a bunfight. Honestly.

You know YABU.

They may have other commitments or not. It is called volunteering for a reason :)

I'm a WOHM and I don't think anyone should have to do anything. Back when my mum was a parent and a SAHM she never set foot in the school from one parents evening to the next. I realise times have changed but not everyone is a joiner.

YABU! I'm not a SAHM myself, but they do a day's work as well you know! Looking after kiddies is a day's work IMO.

It's because they're all too busy sitting at home drinking coffee and watching Jeremy Kyle

Also perhaps you should ask some of the dads.

Gosh, I wonder why they don't want to spend time with you?

I noticed at my children's primary school that the vast majority of PTA members were working mothers.

After a few discussions it transpired that the working mothers had childcare set in place which enabled them to be at meetings and fetes and fairs.

If you are a sahm especially with younger children it's very difficult to reliably attend meetings when you are at the mercy of a husband who doesn't work standard hours and relies on our esteemed commuter train to get home.

I understand your frustration op but small children are not great at helping to erect marquees or man a stall at the Christmas Bazaar.

Oh don't be so silly.
Not everyone wants to be a governor- I was chair of PTA for years, and you wouldn't get me being a governor- just not my thing. Not interested. I would be crap.
Do you say these things to parents in the playground? (ooh no, you're too busy working)

maybe they have enough to do in their so called spare time. You don't know what else they do they could be fundraising for charities caring for an elderly parent or many other possibilities. I am not a SAHM but found when on maternity leave being at work easier than being at home.

I work part time but would call myself a SAHM mainly. I don't do stuff for the school as I have a younger child and a husband who works long hours. Plus I am constantly busy running my house, family life etc etc. Once both my kids are at school I would be able to do stuff like that but realistically at that point I will need to go back to work full time. People are just very busy...

I´m too busy MNing for any of this volunteering for something lark

I'm a sahm with a baby and toddler. When my eldest starts school I would be unable to do anything PTA related Mon-Fri between 6.30am and 7.30pm because DH is out at work and I have no childcare.

Your post has really annoyed me actually. Who are you to decide that all sahm's have enough free time to join the PTA? Do you imagine that we all spend our days lounging around with nothing to do?

Well I am still on mat leave and struggle to attend plays, keep up with all the demands of the school, never mind doing extra.

Like other people say, this is because I have a toddler and a baby on toe - even parents' evening can be a problem if DH is working away that week. Can't even pull favours as my youngest freaks out if anyone goes near her, never mind me leaving her with people at the moment.

When I go back to work all this will become easier of course, as it will be more doable to take an hour off work/finish work early than find someone willing to look after 4 children or even 2 or 3 during the day or early evening.

So yes YABVVVVU

Why do people presume that SAHMs have never worked in their lives before? I am a SAHM. But I worked from the age of 16. As a lounge girl first,then as a nurse auxillary. I trained as a nurse-and did night shifts on my days off to support myself when training,and we did 37.5 hours a week as students. Then I worked on an extremely busy and high pressure ward,where I was often in charge.Up at 6.15am,often not home until 10-and that carried on when I had DS1 as I went back to work. The fact that I don't work now does not mean that I have no idea what woking outside of the home involves!
Maybe the SAHMs don't have the time to do the work involved in the governing body? Unless the body don't mind us bringing the little ones along to the meetings etc? Many husbands/partners of SAHMs work very long hours to support the family,and are not home until late each evening.
Being a SAHM does not mean you swan about all day going from coffee mornings to yoga to the beautician you know!(I wish).
And given your opinions and attitude on this post I'm not surprised you can't get a SAHM to come on board-your attitude to them must be disgusting.

and a festive tongue poke out from this SAHM.
I could join the PTA or the board, two things stop me. The PTA on the whole are a load of stuck up women who compare juicy couture tracksuits, uggs and diamonds and do little fundraising. They tend to get their DH's work place to sponsor whatever extras's the school need (few) and my DH is a teacher at DD's school so it would be a conflict of interest.

I never wanted to get involved with being a governor. Too many egos in a a small space. And as a SAHM I always had enough shit jobs to do for other people, without manning coffee stalls, organising fetes, etc. I just wanted my kids to go to school and come home again, without all this pressure for my time. Like it used to be.

Oh do fuck off, OP.

Beautifully put DontletTinsel etc.

"Being a SAHM does not mean you swan about all day going from coffee mornings to yoga to the beautician you know!"

It is for some I know...

The split is pretty even though between the SAHPs/WOHMs at ds's school I reckon. The WOHMs who are very active at school are the driven, busy types. Ditto the SAHPs that help a lot. A lot of both sets have preschoolers.

I do wonder about one or two SAHPs though - the ones without preschoolers - maybe they're shy, or don't think they have anything to offer. Or maybe they can't be arsed (which is their perogative).

I do go to school things and am on the pta, one of the reasons I do is because I can due to being a p/t work sahm.
I know several f/t work mums who'd love to be involved but work too many hours.

Before DD4 I worked 60 hours a week 51 weeks a year in my own catering company, so I'm enjoying being able to do a bit less.
Unfortunately my DH doesn't have the choice.

Please do me a favour OP and shut up.

Your OP has really wound me up but I guess thats what you were aiming for.

I'm not even going to waste my energy justifying myself to you as it seems you've already made your mind up that SAHM are lazy good for nothings.

Do you actually have any SAHM friends? With that attitude probably not!

I know a few SAHM who are governors at our school. But, the majority (M & F)are self employed or WOH. I think the childcare issue is a valid one. Sometimes people just aren't managerial types or think they don't have any professional skills to offer.

Also you need a hard hat to be a Governor. If you are constantly meeting other parents at school gate as a SAHM, perhaps it feels too conflicted to be a Governor as well? It's difficult to have that professional distance - people will expect you to sort that their individual gripes. I feel wary about mentioning anything vaguely schooly political in front of friends who are Governors, I feel it might be a dig or indiscreet, or cause upset.
Strangely a lot of the Governors are men whose wives are SAHM, so I suppose you could say that as a team they are both helping.