To think SAHMs at my school don't pull their weight?

[Donningflakjacket]

Our school governing body is struggling to find someone to take over as chair, because we are all working mums or dads who find it hard to find the time to be a governor anyway, never mind the extra responsibilities of chair. There are NO SAHM on the board of governors and no SAHMs have even put themselves forward in the last 3 years - even though about 20% of the school are SAHMs.

Why are none of these people prepared to do their bit to help the school educate their child? They are more than happy to moan when the school doesn't do something well but not prepared to actually take some responsibility.

And also, if you are a SAHM don't talk to me about the pressures of work when you have no idea! And especially don't talk to me about pressure of work and then expect me to run round sorting costumes and presses for a night out.

Ok, rant over. You can throw your biscuits now.

I would hope SAHM were not not putting themselves forward because they felt they needed something different on their CV as it were. I really don't think it is in anyway a 'lesser' choice, and it is everyones decision. Besides all you need to help as a governor is an interest in helping the school do better, especially if there are already governors with the corporate and financial background.

I do feel bad for not volunteering as chair but I barely get the time to pull my weight as it is (I have a baby too) and I get promoted after Xmas which is going to make it harder.

I'm a SAHM with three children - all of whom are in school. One has significant emotional and behavioural problems which means that I NEED to be available at any given point during any given day. Right now he's been home with me for three weeks as he's unable to cope with school.

I have a husband who works away from home for three days a week and when he is working locally doesn't get home until 7pm.

I have elderly parents and childcare for three children is not easily forthcoming - particularly given the additional needs that one of my children has.

But I have accompanied all of my children on every single school trip that they've done right throughout their time in school. And I'm generally asked to supervise other - working mother' - children as well.

Because of my son's difficulties I have therapists appt, psychiatry appts, paediatrician appts - I don't have time to sit on my backside all day.

Oh and given the make-up of our Governers and PTA wild horses wouldn't drag me to participate!

You've made me think now.....I never noticed before but all the female parents on our parents committee are WOHW.....

But horses for courses IMO - voluteering is just that voluntary.

IME the old saying "if you want a job doing ask a busy person" is very very true.

Why should you care what their motivations are so long as they do their bit and do it competently!?

They are prepared to help out the school by taking on the role of governor, if they happen to get some benefit in the form of an enhanced CV surely that is a good thing. Then they too could get a job and not fritter their time away at home.

It's an issue of childcare. Perhaps you should look at the obstacles and remove them. That would be more helpful than the bigoted rant that your OP is.

What about seeing if someone will volunteer to run a crèche for evening meetings or hold the meetings at the weekend or during the day?

But I doubt you'll do this because it's a lot of work, will inconvenience the working parents and it's much easier to slag off sahms.

Interestingly you don't mention stay-at-home dads

Sorry dandy lioness not meant to patronise - it was in answer to someone else's post about not wanting to go up against career types.

We all get frustrated by things at times - doesn't automatically follow that I am a terrible person.

Lounges around.

Peels grape.

Lounges around some more.

I once was a SAHM & a governor!!
So to you.

and anyway, whats it got to do with you if people choose to stay at home and look after their children?

I was lucky enough to have a husband that earnt a reasonable wage, so I didnt have to go back to work after having my children.

And the only benefits we get is Child Benefit, which is what everyone gets..

I'm a SAHM and on the PTA at school, there's only two of us that are SAHMs on the PTA the rest work at least PT.

I can only be on the PTA as my DH can get away from work early to allow me to attend meetings and is there at weekends. He works 7-4pm with an hours commute each way.

I have 4 children of 6 and under and have worked FT in the City of London so long commute and travelled all over the UK and Europe with 3am working starts and I know which is the msot demanding job and it wasn't the one I got paid for!

I appear to be a SAHM...but I have a 2 year old..in addition to my 6 year old...no car...no babysitters for meetings as my DH works abroad and I have no family to sit either.

I also work in the evenings from home.

So jusge away ye of the hard working gang....I do nowt love.

I'm a SAHM and like lots of other mums am pregnant and also have a toddler/two school aged kids to care for on my own cos DH works away lots. You make it sound like we have lots of time to kill and sit on our bums all day. Well actually my school council is made up of a mix of working and SAH parents but it is really the SAM's who do all the dokey work like setting up events and catering.

I tend to agree with the OP. Its the same with our PTA, dont know about the governors. People who CBA will always have an excuse.
We have lots of lovely and committed people on our PTA, but precious few SAHMs.

My OH also works long hours, so it still takes a bit of forward planning for me to attend our evening meetings, but its not impossible.

We dont have daytime meetings (as most of us work) but then if we did, a lot of SAHMs with preschool kids would presumably not be able to attend them either due to childcare so you can't win!

Ok, I guess the question should be why are no more than 1/20 parent prepared to govern? And even with other calls on peoples time/conflicts there should be more surely?

But maybe I have dug myself too big a hole already.... Since this is my day off and the baby is asleep i'm off for a nap!

Still, at least you managed to spell flak correctly.

I'm a SAHM. I'm not a governor and I don't want to be a governor. I do go into school once a week and help in two classes, plus go in at extra times as required (e.g. three days this week to help get the reception children changed for the Nativity play). I also help in Nursery twice a week. I'm around during the week and I am good at helping in the class, so that's what I do. Using your skills, and all that. Obvious, innit?

If a working mum can issue a plea to SAHMs can this SAHM issue one to working mums? Please don't dose your very sick child up on Calpol and send him into school, to breathe his germs all over my child, 'Because I've got so much to do.' I hear you and you have my sympathy, because I've been there, but your child is not well and the rest of us don't need to catch what he has. You've got so much to do? The implication being that I've nothing better to do with my time than care for my son, should he catch what your son has? (Or be stuck in today because I've now caught what your son has. Thanks for that!)

Imo being a SAHM is bloody tough work. So maybe they're all too knackered from doing the childcare and running their homes virtually single-handedly. They may also have no childcare and their partners may get back too late to allow them to attend these kind of things even if they had the energy / were able to string a coherent thought together by that time anyway.

Donningflackjacket Your telling SAHM they don't know anything about having a 'working life' I would suggest you know shit all about being a SAHM being that your so ignorant of all it invovles.
Have you ever considered that maybe the reason SAHM don't want to join is because of your attitude towards them, maybe it's you who's doing the school harm and not them?

" People who CBA will always have an excuse."

Yes, I am too busy raising my own children rather than farming them out to childcare.

[cackle]

Of course the SAHMs aren't pulling their weight. They became SAHMs because they are too lazy to work, aren't they? So they're hardly likely to step up to the plate and become governors.

On a slightly less incendiary note, I've noticed that a few of my friends who are SAMHs have taken a real knock to their personal confidence during the toddler years (despite being every bit as bright and capable as they were preDCs) - perhaps it doesn't occur to some of them that they have something to contribute when they line up next to the be-suited, confident working mums?