To think SAHMs at my school don't pull their weight?

[Donningflakjacket]

Our school governing body is struggling to find someone to take over as chair, because we are all working mums or dads who find it hard to find the time to be a governor anyway, never mind the extra responsibilities of chair. There are NO SAHM on the board of governors and no SAHMs have even put themselves forward in the last 3 years - even though about 20% of the school are SAHMs.

Why are none of these people prepared to do their bit to help the school educate their child? They are more than happy to moan when the school doesn't do something well but not prepared to actually take some responsibility.

And also, if you are a SAHM don't talk to me about the pressures of work when you have no idea! And especially don't talk to me about pressure of work and then expect me to run round sorting costumes and presses for a night out.

Ok, rant over. You can throw your biscuits now.

I'm a SAHM and a governor. Also heavily involved with PTA in 2 schools. In our school, only 3 of the governing board are parents anyway (2 of us SAHM - 1 Working Dad) - the rest are people from the community, church and LEA etc.
I have 4dcs including 2 pre-school and often have to pay for childcare to go to meetings as my husband is rarely home by kids bedtimes. This isn't really an ideal situation and I sometimes resent paying a babysitter to go to a meeting when we haven't been able to go out for the last year!
I think being a governor can be quite forbidding as it isn't always clear what goes on and it can seem like the governors carry a lot of responsibility. Maybe if your governing body did some reaching out to the school community, promoting a spirit of inclusiveness and explaining the roles, you might have more takers.
Also, our chair is a retired lady who does immense amounts of work in the role and is in and out of school all week. This isn't something most people could take on whether they were working or SAHMs.

Also... Surprised by people's PTA experiences. Ours is completely mixed between SAHM and WOHM and the odd Dad too. Everyone has always been really welcoming and friendly and I personally have formed lots of really close friendships. I would say at least 30% of the parents in the infants are prepared to offer time for the big events - fairs etc. Fewer in the juniors but still people are very friendly and helpful.
Sorry for those of you whose PTAs seem horrid and snooty! Can't foster a very welcoming feeling in the school.

Maybe SAHM's feel uneasy being surrounded by pmpous parents who only value worth by what type of career one has. SAHM being bottom of the aspirational pile amongst school governors. Quite frankly, those who are governors are generally of the pushy, aint I wonderful ilk and who wants to be part of that!

babybarrister - I do help out, but only in the last year - this is because, after having been a SAHM for 10 years, frankly - I wanted to have a break from children and thinking about children when I am not with them. Instead I volunteered elsewhere (a large Charity for elderly people).

I think it's reasonable to wonder why the 20% of sahm aren't reflected by having around 20% of the volunteers helping. Perhaps the school could put something in place to help, if childcare is a major issue for example, maybe csomeone would be prepared to occasionally look after children while their parents attend meetings or help out. Maybe even the volunteers themselves could do it on a rota basis, say 10 people who do it, each person would only need to do it once every ten meetings/events, which might be quite workable? I'm sure there's a solution to be found.

I am a SAHM and a governor at the local school and my DS is only 3. Our Governing Body is pretty evenly split between working parents and SAHM. It is fair to say that the SAHM members, like me are lucky enough to have parents/relatives living close by who can have DCs when there are meetings and/or other governor duties to undertake. I can see that without this support it would be hard for SAHMs to be involved as they would have no childcare.

Babybarrister - it is that attitude, that SAHM have time of their hands and nothing better to do with it than help at the school, that resulted into the Op getting a pasting. For all the reasons listed the OP doesn't know what she is talking about and nor do you.

Besides, the OP was specifically about being a governor. An awful lot of SAHM help out in the school but don't want the formal legal status and obligations that being a governor brings. Nothing wrong with that. It isn't for everybody. Apparently that isn't good enough for the OP We all have to help out regardless of our strengths and weaknesses.

I notice she hasn't been back since she went for a nap yesterday. Hopefully she has seen the thread and now stands corrected.

"well I don't think YABU - if there are people with some time on their hands [not all will have younger children] then why not help out during school hours at the very least?"

Well, in my case it's because I'd already done 5 years with the NCT and I've done my stint with the PTA too. Quite frankly, I've done my bit.

However, many pompous, judgemental idiots will assume I am a SAHM who is simply too lazy to help out

"And also, if you are a SAHM don't talk to me about the pressures of work when you have no idea!"

Nope - sorry don't have the childcare or the time. No I really don't. And yes I do know what pressure of work is -

a) I used to do paid work

b) I have 200 service sheets to photocopy, put together and fold by Sunday, and 60 news sheets (now I've finished putting them together and editing them).

And that's the easiest part of this week

A new governor wouldn't have the right experience to go straight in as chair of governors, so that is something that the existing governors should be stepping forward to do. Most school governing bodies will only have 2 or 3 parent governor posts, and they can be difficult to fill. I think that SAHM's and working parents can all find it hard to find the time. (There will also be governors from the community and nominated by the Local Authority on the governing body).
I clerk 5 school GB's at the moment and 3 chairs are men, 2 women. The memberships are split fairly evenly between the sexes, apart from at one school where there is only one man on the GB. I think that who is chair normally comes down to experience, not experience in outside life, but of school governance.

It may be hard to believe, but many of the most effective governors I meet do go to work, and some are mums and dads as well. I guess they think it's worth the effort.

I do think that the maxim give a job to a busy person holds true and that cuts across the SAHM/WOHM "divide"

I have always been a governer or on the PTA both as a SAHM and as a WOHM who often works 70+ hour weeks.

I do despair of people's cynicism and general loathing of people who give up their time to make a difference. I think it speaks volumes when people assume that others only act out of self interest.

I don't think anyone on this thread has "general loathing" of perople who give up their time. I think they do have "general loathing" for the opinion that SAHM means free all day to work for other people, or too selfish to give up imaginary endless leisure time.

I certainly don't have a general loathing for people who give up their time, after all ive done a fair bit of it myself. I do, as nest a says, have a general loathing for people who judge SAHMs on the basis of whether they've volunteered at the school.

YABVU and judging them all. The SAHM are probably already busy all day with their kids, the ones with older DC may well be studying and looking afte elderly relatives or simply enjoying their own time. That is not a crime. If it is such a crime not to help if you have a choice not to work then what about the working mums who choose to work and not use the time instead to help school, is that selfish as well? Or is it just the SANMs you have a grudge against? Is SAH on it's own not worthy or being the main thing a person does which takes up as much time as work for the average person?

People should be able to choose to work or SAH and whether or not to join the PTA etc. Many people are not into that or have social anxiety etc. I often help in school but don't join the PTA or help at Xmas fayres etc, it just isn't my thing. But I help with trips, reading, craft days and sponser charity and school events, I do my bit in other ways.

Also, I have been both a WOHM and SAHM and both are hard work..

'The reason I don't volunteer is because I find too many people like the op are on the pta.Too full of their own self importance with a very large ego.'
I agree with this. One of the PTA mums parked her car on school lines so that i had to go into the road with my pram on a busy road. I asked her politely could she park somewhere else and she tutted and effed several impolite words at me in front of my and her DC and reluctantly moved it to the car park a few yards away!! That is one example of several, it is very very cliquey and not my cup of tea. I prefer helping directly in the school with the kids trips etc.

hmc - "I used to be a senior manager in my past life - but no way could I put up with the petty politics and bureaucracy of the board of governors"

Couldn't agree more. Its pointless. I've done my fair share of 'thrusting executive' and 'world domination' and just cant be bothered with wasting my life on a powerless pointless task. The Head and the teaching body will ignore you and carry on doing what they want and the LEA has all the money.

PTA/Governing Body is for people who have a craving for power that is beyond psychosis. Its a sort of care in the community for them.

Blimey I'm damned if I do and damn if I don't. If I don't become a governor I have people like the OP saying I'm not pulling my weight and I am lazy and pointless.

If I do become a governor I am now power crazed beyond psychosis.

Beenbeta - have you any idea what you are talking about? For a start I wouldn't lump the PTA and the governing body in together. Two completely different things. PTA is for fund raising and entertainment. Governing body helps to run the school and keeps an eye on the head teachers management.

Secondly, since we have no power (according to you of course, not entirely sure where you get your information from) then I am not sure how we can be power crazed beyond psychosis. Which is it powerless or power craving? Make you mind up!

I think BeenBeta is confusing the governing body with the PTA, and they are very different. I think that if some people realised the legal responsibilities attached to becoming a school governor they wouldn't do it... I think she's also way out of date on things like school funding and the powers of school governors. In this I don't think she is alone. Sometimes I think that the responsibilities of a school governor are too much to expect from volunteers.
Next step - academies - then the governors will really have something to worry about.

I DO know the difference between a PTA and Governing Body.

I've have serious issues with both at our DSs school.

I'm with santasbluebaubles on the practicality thing. I'm a SAHM and DH works away a lot and when he's here he works in the evenings. In the mornings (when he's around to look after the toddler) I go into school to hear the Y2s read. The times of the meetings just don't work for me. I help where and when I can... just not in such a high profile way.

Sometimes it's the makeup of those already on the Board of Governors that deters others from joining. Amongst ours are those who wished to remove (successfully) the previous headteacher, husbands/partners of those who work in the school to look after their interests and a general feeling of secrecy and exclusion for us mere/lesser mortals.

Surely the school, as a public building and community learning centre for all our children, should be open and inclusive. You may find this is closer to the reason why so-called SAHM's don't want to join the party - that and attitudes like yours.

I think the main issue is that no one seems to have a DH/DP who can possibly get home before 7.30 or 8pm occasionally! What is that all about? Exploitation on a massive scale?

I'm a working mother with a SIL with almost full time childcare even though she hasnt worked for years (DH is rich!) She is constantly moaning that she is tired, busy or otherwise doing 'something' else!

She makes mountatins out of molehills which I think is a side issue when you have too much time on your hands. So, she cannot get out of her drive, ditto, but my DH and I were out with a shovel this morning to clear a path.

So yes, there are some SAHM's who really need to get out more.

people who join committees on the whole do it because they get something out of it. it might be a sense of satisfaction, it might be something to moan about- but they do it because to them it is worthwhile and adds something to their lives

good on them- i am not one of them- strongly beleive that i pay my taxes to ensure schools run and open. i hate committees with a passion and have enough petty politics in work to cover that aspect of my life.

i do think it is hilarious though that people that join them instantly think that others aren't doing their bit. i think you have to accept that the vast majority of people, sahm mothers or otherwise really aren't that interested and when there are enough busybodies to fill the roles, does it really matter?