To think SAHMs at my school don't pull their weight?

[Donningflakjacket]

Our school governing body is struggling to find someone to take over as chair, because we are all working mums or dads who find it hard to find the time to be a governor anyway, never mind the extra responsibilities of chair. There are NO SAHM on the board of governors and no SAHMs have even put themselves forward in the last 3 years - even though about 20% of the school are SAHMs.

Why are none of these people prepared to do their bit to help the school educate their child? They are more than happy to moan when the school doesn't do something well but not prepared to actually take some responsibility.

And also, if you are a SAHM don't talk to me about the pressures of work when you have no idea! And especially don't talk to me about pressure of work and then expect me to run round sorting costumes and presses for a night out.

Ok, rant over. You can throw your biscuits now.

What GiddyPickle said. I used to think SAHMs had rich husbands (how wrong can you get?) but then I realised I actually can't afford to go back to work. We just scrape the threshold so would not get subsidies. Cheaper for me to stay at home and do some homeworking on the side whilst DS2 sleeps.
The amount of times DS1 is ill its probably just as well.

For many SAHMs its not so much a choice as a trap, so its really nice when people put the boot in and impy we are lazy and don't help out enough.

Its not as if there is an excess of part time jobs that fit in with school hours and termtimes. Those jobs are like hens'teeth.

The OP wants a medal. You have no idea what the SAHM's do. May be they are put off by bossy, 'I do everything' women on the board

No, Jenai, it is patronising shit.

Actually, how would I know? i am an ignorant SAHM who doesn't have the skills, is just being Mummy and has no confidence...

Oh do sod off OP. Almost all the SAHMs including me at the DDs school have little ones who are not welcome at meetings etc. Even if they do spend all day at the beauticians/gym etc so bloody what? It's their life and their choice. Having spent the year before DS arrived as a member of our PTA I know exactly why people don't volunteer. Most of the people involved are snobbish and social climbing nightmares.

The lack of skills and/or confidence could equally apply to working parents though, DontLet. But it's SAHPs that are underrepresented on the board, not WOHPs.

yes, it could be applied to WOHP but it wasn't was it? neither was the Mummy comment. But, as i said, what would I know.

You sound rather self-righteous and judgemental. YABU.

How about I suggest that WOHP are over represented on the board because they are bossy, arrogant and love the idea of doing something that means they don't have to see their children for another few hours?

Is that OK? No, of course it isn't, and neither is spouting patronising, crappy generalisations about SAHMs.

The fact is that some people just don't want to be governors. There are 100s of parents at the school who haven't volunteered.

I am hearty sick of the SAHM v WOHM judging that goes on.

Quite right Dontlet. Sweeping generalisations about any group of people is rude and lazy and says much about the maker of said generalisation. All Scottish people are mean with money/Germans have no sense of humour/SAHMs are lazy losers/WOHM child abandoning career bitches. Utter nonsense. FWIW at our school most of the governors are SAHMs so dont think you can make such generalisations anyway.

Also abit about SAHMs not understanding what working is like. WTF? All the SAHMs I know have had (and probably will again) jobs some pretty important ones.

"bossy, arrogant and love the idea of doing something that means they don't have to see their children for another few hours"

Well it's a thought. Maybe the people on the OP's board are bossy and arrogant? It's worth asking.

YABVU

I have no further comment except that as you say you work part time I guess that makes you a part time WOHM and part time SAHM? Perhaps you should volunteer?

YANBentirelyU

Just to bring a bit of balance (and young kids at home to look after aside....)

As I am now self employed and work intermittently, I do find that when I am working, I become much more efficient and dynamic and feel more capable of fitting more stuff in a day. This term, I haven't had much work and I find myself losing my way a bit and even though I feel very busy and very tired all day, every day (I am also a parent of a challenging, severely disabled child), I feel much more reluctant to take on new challenges.

There are some parents who do more and some who do not because they don't have the confidence or don't want to. I guess it's a choice but it must be a bit annoying for the working parents who also put in lots of time doing voluntary stuff.

SAHM do not stay at home as a form of charity for the community. I don't suppose you are sharing some of your pay packet with them so why do you feel they are obliged to share their time with you?
People who feel they have the time and skills and interest should put themselves forward for the board - end of!

YABU - volunteering at s school is n't the only thing you can volunteer for - there are alot of other organisations out there which these SAHM may be volunteering with and they dont have to 'do their bit to help the school educate their child '

If they dont have the inclination to do it then fine - nothing worse than a volunteer with no interest.

Your school governing body isn't just made up of parents from the school , its made up from community , staff , and local councillors - so why not generalise that the community, staff etc are lazy ?

Some SAHM will know about the pressures of work - hence why many of them are SAHM .

Maybe they are all allergic to committees. I know I am.

Haven't read the whole thread, but I had quite enough of women on committees when I was chair of a playgroup to ever ever volunteer for any kind of committee ever again. For a start, they're always full of women like the OP.

Such howls of protest.

And clearly some twaddle has been spouted.

But I do note that the only people on our PTA or acting as Parent Governors are parents - no, not all mums - who are in some form of paid employment. And we do have plenty of parents who do not work out of the home, and have no younger children at home or caring responsibilities for other family members - they do not choose to volunteer. And yes I do know, as these are my friends! - They claim that the time during the school day is 'their time', and that they don't want to have to give up evenings for meetings etc. Their choice , of course, but tbh honest it is galling when my children have been to afterschool care because their parents were at work, then I miss them too in the evening when I'm out at a meeting. My (non-volunteering) friends think - and say - I'm mad to give up my time and maybe I am, but I am trying really hard to support a hardworking staff in a troubled school. We've had to make some very difficult decisions and it can be really demanding and stressful. It's just great then to read on here that I'm some sort of controlling, patronising bigot who is out to massage her own ego.

Perhaps your attitude puts them off.

Maybe it does, Feeling. I'm equally intimidated and irritated by one of the mainplayers at ds's school - which puts me off getting invovled anymore than I am.

She's a SAHM though (and don't we know it).

This is so true. We have many SAHMs and SAHDs, not one is a governor or on the parents association. Only one helps out at events. The Chairman of the PA works full time, the treasurer and secretary (myself) work 30 hours a week and still manage to help the school. It really ps me off.

By the way the PA is mixed male and female. The Chair is male.

I work part time but I am not wanted on the PTA because I don't come from one of the old families. Half of them were snooty when I offered to help with the school fair and only 3 out of the 15 spoke to me. One lady even said yuk we don't want this baking before she even opened the tin.

Before I get flamed the 3 who spoke to me were lovely but the rest put me off.

Somebody just mentioned about giving a cheque instead of doing any events but the children love the discos that we put on, the summer fayre and the christmas fayre. It keeps the Community feel as well. I have often asked this question and do wonder why this is the case.

To be honest we would all love to resign but the school needs to raise £20,000 for building work to be done (the school has to raise 10%) by the end of next year and has asked the PA to help. We then feel guilty for not helping. The meetings only last an hour and a half once a month so not a big commitment really.