Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think SAHMs at my school don't pull their weight?

257 replies

Donningflakjacket · 16/12/2010 11:40

Our school governing body is struggling to find someone to take over as chair, because we are all working mums or dads who find it hard to find the time to be a governor anyway, never mind the extra responsibilities of chair. There are NO SAHM on the board of governors and no SAHMs have even put themselves forward in the last 3 years - even though about 20% of the school are SAHMs.

Why are none of these people prepared to do their bit to help the school educate their child? They are more than happy to moan when the school doesn't do something well but not prepared to actually take some responsibility.

And also, if you are a SAHM don't talk to me about the pressures of work when you have no idea! And especially don't talk to me about pressure of work and then expect me to run round sorting costumes and presses for a night out.

Ok, rant over. You can throw your biscuits now.

OP posts:
Lougle · 19/12/2010 19:13

In contrast to that, risingstar, I became involved in committees for precisely the opposite reasons.

I am not a socially confident person. I would not put myself forward for a role which I thought was determined on popularity.

My DD had been at preschool 6 weeks, when the Chair of the preschool committee stood up at an event and asked people to join their committee. I thought 'not me'. She went on to say that they also needed people to do some 'jobs'. One was the invoicing of parents. All was required was someone with a few hours once per half-term, and a printer. I thought 'I could do that'.

I approached the Chair, and said that I would willingly do the invoicing for the preschool. She thanked me and took my details. Soon after, she phoned me, talked me through what they needed, and welcomed me to the committee!

However, I allowed her to join me to the preschool committee because:

-Primarily, the preschool cannot run without it. No 'busybodies' filling roles, no preschool. Our constitution says that the majority of the roles have to be filled by parents of children currently at the preschool.

-In any environment, you are part of the problem or part of the solution. You can't improve something without being involved. The staff need support of people who are actually prepared to help.

-Many hands make light work. It's like the analogy of a football game. "80% of the people stand at the side watching 20% of the people do the work". To run a preschool takes huge effort. Banking; invoicing; insurance; Personnel; Ordering of Milk, Fruit, Bookbags, Stationary, Materials for preschool use, uniforms; Payroll; Recruitment; Training; Hall bookings; Supporting the preschool leader; Fundraising; Events organisation; Health and Safety; Website maintenance; Advertising - the list goes on. If everyone does a little bit, then it isn't a daunting task. If one person is trying to do it all, it is too much.

Ironically, I have gone from not feeling able to push myself forward to join a committee to chairing it. The current chair couldn't leave without a replacement. Personal circumstances mean that no-one else could take it on, so what is there to do? Let the preschool close?

I was invited to be a member of the partnership board for my new Children's Centre. I have a disabled daughter, so I represent a 'sector' of their client base which means I am useful to them. I agreed because they need people to advise them who are actually relevant. No point moaning about services being poorly targeted if the advice they are getting is from people who have no need of their services, is it?

I am about to be a Govorner of my DD1's Special School. They asked for representations from potential Governors several weeks ago. I thought 'Oh I bet there will be loads of people who go for that'. Nope. The School puts on a coffee morning for parents each fortnight. The aim is to let us feel part of the school. We don't get the same 'school gate' stuff as 'normal' parents because the vast majority of children live 2+ miles away from the school so get transported in by minibus, etc. There are 130 children in the school. We usually get around 6-12 parents who turn up for the coffee morning. They try to give really useful stuff mixed in. Perhaps a talk on Sensory issues.

Anyway, as one of the few parents who regularly attends, gets involved and volunteers to help at events, it was mentioned that they need Parent Governors.

I don't think it is busybodies, it is people who can see that schools need support. Some people feel they can help, others don't. But I don't quite understand why people on each side of the fence need to snipe at people on the other. Why not be glad that some people can and do help where they can?

babybarrister · 20/12/2010 13:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

biryani · 20/12/2010 13:54

SAHMs are SAHMs for a reason-mainly childcare. I'm an almost-SAHM at the moment but worked 25 years full-on before having DD, so I resent the implication that SAHMs have no idea what "real" work is. Being a SAHM means doing your own childcare and having little choice in how you spend your free time, if you have any. Also, I dislike the current fad for getting involved in the business of school: this attitude, now the norm,is, I feel, unhelpful to teachers who are trying to do a job despite the meddling of well-meaning amateurs and puts extra pressure on those who "just" want their child to go to school for an education.

TooPragmatic · 20/12/2010 13:56

so let's see if I can get this straight...

The OP is unwilling to become a chair of governors because she feels she is too busy. So instead, she'd like a SAHP to step up and take on the role, so that the OP can continue to work ?!

That's effectively asking stay-at-home parents to subsidise working parents.

If so, YAB completely U.

color · 20/12/2010 14:03

OP I've only just managed to post a response as a SAHM I had to pick myself up from the floor after I fell about laughing.

How naive your posting is but then we all learn as we get older especially if we remove the blinkers now and again. Never mind it's not your fault.

GetOrfMoiLand · 20/12/2010 14:13

I think the OP is looking at getting some feeling of power and ego from being a governor, possible beceause with that kind of stupid attitude she may well be a stoning failure at work.

Assumtion? Perhaps. But no more an assumption that 'all SAHMs are lazy' as per the OP.

I have no interest in being involved in the PTA or the governing body. I meet enough impotent albeit power crazed twats at work, thanks.

GetOrfMoiLand · 20/12/2010 14:15

Oh god apols for ghaslty spelling (as per usual)

New posts on this thread. Refresh page