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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have cried over what another customer said?

161 replies

StrictlyTory · 10/10/2010 13:07

Ok today I woke up with really engorged breasts, DC2 is 2 weeks old. The BF councillor told me to go to a large department store in town and have some feeding bras properly fitted...

So off I went with DH, and 2 DC's in tow. Bra fitting dept had 2 staff on and there was 1 other old woman in there. I asked where the maternity bras were and the old woman snapped at me that she was first in the line for fitting. I was Hmm as I wasn't trying to get ahead, just find a bra first!

Anyway DS started playing up a bit but DH had him pretty much under control so went into the changing room, old woman was there too. She had asked for at least a dozen bras to be fitted so the fitter kept telling me to wait which was fine. DS then called out 'where's Mummy' and the woman stuck her head out the chaging room and shouted at DH 'For God' sake take that horrible child out of here'. I heard this from behind my curtain and for a few mins was in such shock, half assuming it was a very odd joke! Realising it wasn't I got dressed and ran after DH.

Decided to by a bra without being fitted properly as I had tried bra on and it felt ok and I was in such pain I just wanted a bra! While paying the fitted whispered to me how rude the other woman was, I was Hmm at it being whispered to save the old womans feelings and I just said how DS was only 2 and how shocked I was that a grown woman would shout at him like that...

So, finished paying and walked past the changing room where the woman popped out to shout at me that I was a rubbish mother and DS should have respect for old people Shock

I immediately burst into tears and stammered that he was 2, we had a 2 week old baby and I has hugely engorged breast and was in a lot of pain and just wanted a fitted bra! Blush

She then told me to get out the shop, to which the fitter started leading me to the door! AIBU to have sobbed in public and be pretty upset that the fitter allowed the woman to talk to us all like that?

OP posts:
terryble · 10/10/2010 13:10

Oh dear, that's awful! Do you think the other customer was the manager's mother, or something? Because I can't understand the staff's conciliatory attitude otherwise.

Unless the fitter is a nervous person who hates confrontation, or summat (like myself, actually).

tethersend · 10/10/2010 13:11

Cuntstomer.

Original poster
StrictlyTory · 10/10/2010 13:11

No, the fitter was about 55 and the woman said she was 62, when screaming at me that my 2 year old was a horrible little boy Hmm

OP posts:
zookeeper · 10/10/2010 13:12

let it go. Old woman was clearly nuts. You're hormomal with sore tits. It will pass.

tittybangbang · 10/10/2010 13:13

Touch of Alzheimers or something?

Because that's very bizarre and disinhibited behaviour.

Tortington · 10/10/2010 13:15

yeah you should have kicked her in he fanjo

or your dh should have told her to shut her gob silly old cow.

LoveBeingAMardyBum · 10/10/2010 13:16

pmsl @ Cuntstomer

OP think i would have burst into tears if i were you too, its wrong that she assitant didnt say anything to her.

claireb1974 · 10/10/2010 13:16

Oh no, what a horrid woman [shocked]

can't understand the staffs reaction though, I wouldn't have bought a bra from there I would of left making a comment that she would be able to hear and gone to another store.

Hope you are feeling better now x

Bucharest · 10/10/2010 13:17

I'd let the old woman go, but I might consider asking the store manager why I was treated so shoddily and unsympathetically by their staff.

CristinaTheAstonishing · 10/10/2010 13:17

It would have been wrong at any time, let alone when you#'re feeling tired and fragile. Give your Ds a hug, he's only 2 and was probably bored with the shopping.

Fuchzia · 10/10/2010 13:17

Poor you! What a horrid old bag. Can understand why you cried especially with all your new baby hormones. YANBU. Not sure what the shop assistants could have done though as they can't be rude to customers without a world of trouble.

cakeywakey · 10/10/2010 13:17

62 is not old. She's just a nasty woman - what a bitch. YANBU to have cried, you're incredibly hormonal with sore boobs and lots on your mind.

The fitter was rubbish TBH, but sounds like she was going for the path of least resistance. Poor show all round. I'd be of a mind to let the store know about the incident and wouldn't shop there in future.

Clarkiee · 10/10/2010 13:18

How awful!

I would expect that the fitter is not used to dealing with such rude customers so she lead you out so the confrontation would end asap (not that that is acceptable).

The best way to get over horrible people (after you have calmed down) is to feel pity for them. That old woman must have been a pretty sad, miserable individual to be so rude to you for no good reason.

LilMsUnfortunateAxeIncident · 10/10/2010 13:18

You SERIOUSLY need to write to the Head office of that shop. There is no excuse for a customer to be bullied like that, not even if this were Rigby and Peller and the otehr customer is Her Maj herself!

That is beyond bullying.

Don't you ever stand for that again!

How dare she say all that nasty stuff? how dare she make you cry. I am FUMING on your behalf.

I'll doubt that will ever happen again, but you need to have a stock phrase such as "How DARE you speak to me/my son/my anything like that. Your manners are beyond appalling."

SHE clearly was a loon. Don't let a loon upset you. You only had 30 mins or so pleasure of her company, She IS that sad, shrivelled old hag 24 hours a day.

Karma will bit her arse.... trust me!

Original poster
StrictlyTory · 10/10/2010 13:18

I know I'm so annoyed with myself that I bought the bra, but it made the huge swollen mass that were formally breasts feel better! And it was before the 2nd onslaught Sad

DH said he was so shocked he didn't know what to say and didn't feel he could shout at a pensioner with a 2 week old strapped to him in a BabyBjorn and a toddler there too.

OP posts:
BackgroundRacket · 10/10/2010 13:18

well don't go back to that shop! The staff sound like they weren't much good anyway.
WHat an old bat. She's lucky you or dh didn't give her a right mouthful. I would have if I had been there and heard it.

ASecretLemonadeDrinker · 10/10/2010 13:19

She told you to get out of the shop? And the fitter led you out? She should have been removed. Old my arse, my mum is 62 and doesn't need "respect for old people" thankyou very much.

Georgimama · 10/10/2010 13:20

The fitter isn't a nursery school teacher, it's not her job to adjudicate between customers.

The old woman was clearly mad. Don't worry about it.

Original poster
StrictlyTory · 10/10/2010 13:22

LMUAI thank you Blush that was very sweet.

I did say to her her that she must have no matters to shout at a child like that and that's when she said I was a rubbish Mother and that she was 62 and he should have shown her some respect Hmm

I didn't realis a toddler shouting 'Where's Mummy?' shows a lack of respect to someone behind a curtain....

OP posts:
HeathcliffMoorland · 10/10/2010 13:22

Old woman was completely unreasonable.

You are absolutely not being unreasonable.

However, I can understand the fitter whispering about how rude the old woman was - she could get into trouble for speaking loudly about a customer.

I also don't think it's her duty to 'allow' someone to speak to someone else in a certain fashion.

Old woman was awful. YANBU. But I wouldn't blame the fitter.

Original poster
StrictlyTory · 10/10/2010 13:23

ooops no manners

OP posts:
terryble · 10/10/2010 13:23

Other customer had ishoos. Definitely.

violethill · 10/10/2010 13:24

She sounds barking. Complain to the store.

In hindsight I would have got DH to stay outside or in another dept so you could totally concentrate on getting the bra fitted without the distraction of a toddler. A fitting room is probably the worst place if a toddler starts playing up

LilMsUnfortunateAxeIncident · 10/10/2010 13:27

Honey, you are not a rubbish mummy. My mother is older than 62 and there is no way she would ever behave like that.

Your reply to that comment where she mentioned her age is therefore:

My son may only be 2, but he had more manners than you do, and you are SIXTY YEARS older than him. You should be ashamed of yourself. Actually you should be LOCKED UP in a Facility for The Criminally Ignorant.

Flip your fringe and stalk off.... well as well as anyone with engorged boobs, a toddler, a new born and a H in tow can... but you get the picture.

Grin Oh and it's LittleMissHissyFit in my halloween guise btw...

monkeyfacegrace · 10/10/2010 13:28

Id have smacked her in the fucking gob, but thats just me Grin