To have cried over what another customer said?

[StrictlyTory]

Ok today I woke up with really engorged breasts, DC2 is 2 weeks old. The BF councillor told me to go to a large department store in town and have some feeding bras properly fitted...

So off I went with DH, and 2 DC's in tow. Bra fitting dept had 2 staff on and there was 1 other old woman in there. I asked where the maternity bras were and the old woman snapped at me that she was first in the line for fitting. I was as I wasn't trying to get ahead, just find a bra first!

Anyway DS started playing up a bit but DH had him pretty much under control so went into the changing room, old woman was there too. She had asked for at least a dozen bras to be fitted so the fitter kept telling me to wait which was fine. DS then called out 'where's Mummy' and the woman stuck her head out the chaging room and shouted at DH 'For God' sake take that horrible child out of here'. I heard this from behind my curtain and for a few mins was in such shock, half assuming it was a very odd joke! Realising it wasn't I got dressed and ran after DH.

Decided to by a bra without being fitted properly as I had tried bra on and it felt ok and I was in such pain I just wanted a bra! While paying the fitted whispered to me how rude the other woman was, I was at it being whispered to save the old womans feelings and I just said how DS was only 2 and how shocked I was that a grown woman would shout at him like that...

So, finished paying and walked past the changing room where the woman popped out to shout at me that I was a rubbish mother and DS should have respect for old people

I immediately burst into tears and stammered that he was 2, we had a 2 week old baby and I has hugely engorged breast and was in a lot of pain and just wanted a fitted bra!

She then told me to get out the shop, to which the fitter started leading me to the door! AIBU to have sobbed in public and be pretty upset that the fitter allowed the woman to talk to us all like that?

I wouldn't like it if someone called one of my children 'horrible' (if she did) but equally I would expect to apologise for a child running around and shouting and looking for mummy in the women's underwear fitting rooms where people need and deserve privacy.

I understand coldcomfort but there was no need for the woman to be rude and horrid. She should be setting a good example, not acting like a child.

it maybe dementia, perhaps that was why all the wispering - this isn't normal is it

I have been barged in many a time by childr4en in the changing area but I am not rude, just say a polite excuse me and pull the curtain back.

My darling mother was so sweet and kind, and so understanding of children - if it had been her getting fitted she would have allowed you to go first, and helped your dh with your DC.

ONLY SHE WAS TAKEN AWAY AT THE AGE OF 58 BY THE EVIL C WORD!

She would be 62 now, I find it hard to believe a God exists when he leaves somebody like that horrible woman and takes away my dear mother.

And I would have been tempted to say that to this nutcase!

Sorry, didn't realise my second paragraph was in capitals - I'm not shouting

Why if there is an elderly person that is rude do they have to have dementia! Can't older people be rude because thats how they are, not because they have anythig wrong with them. Some people are just plain rude and nasty, whether young, middle aged or old.

I'd have been inclined to shower her in warm milk from your poor sore engorged boobies. in fact, I'd have been unable to prevent myself from doing so... my boobs have minds of their own at that age of baby-feeding-ness!

Yep, and then I would have cried. A lot.

Awww ladypink , the horrible C, i have lost my dad and grandma from that.

There seems to be a lot of intolerance like this these days. We went for acurry last night with dd 8 and took dil and dgs 1. It was only 6 and quite empty and we sat him in his little booster seat.He was very good but at one point he dropped a spoon on the floor and this young woman turned and gave us the dirtiest look. We spent the meal trying to keep him quiet as i sensed she was spoiling for a fight and being 6 months pg at the mo i would have likely given her one.
Take no notice shes just a bitter old bag and one day she will pick on someone gobby and get right mouthfull to put her in her place

She's a rude old cow-bag and no amount of excuses can take away how she made another woman feel and her reaction to a young child the 2yr old disrespected her how?..by looking for his mum?..

shes lucky she was only being bitched about in whispers at the till..I would have told the old hag to her face..then would she have the right to shout at me again?...she was acting like a self-important hag...

I completely agree my joke was misogynistic ...I could put one up about older men and their lack virility if you like?

Sorry to hear that, pigletmania! It only gets the good people...

I agree piglet some older people are just straight up rude and sour..noting wrong with their minds at all

Very rude and inconsiderate of her. feel sympathy poor woman has no escape from herself.

My mum is 62 and would never have behaved like that. Most likely she'd have admired your baby, chatted to your toddler and told you all about the problems I had finding a fitting bra when breastfeeding (i was a 34 J at that point

My mum is 61 and she would have been horrified at seeing someone speak to you like - she would have words with the shrivelled old bitch herself!

Nasty, horrid woman.

Take heart in your lovely family, she is probably alone and friendless and her family have probably disowned her.

This woman's terrible crime was to call out for someone to take away a shouting toddler who was wandering around by the changing rooms (why was he allowed to do that?) and she was worried he was going to pull her curtain aside in public when she had no bra on. IF she said he was 'horrible' then that was rude, but it is also rude and disrespectful to others to let your children behave like this. Suppose the woman had just had a mastectomy? It is not unreasonably to expect privacy while having a bra fitting, and not unreasonable to be annoyed at having a child running around apparently unsupervised. Also, the 'old' woman did not shout at the OP at this point, she called out for someone to remove the child from the changing area, albeit rather crossly and rudely. Later the OP had a good old bitch about her in her hearing, to which the the woman responded in kind. I really think this is more six of one, half a dozen of the other than the OP likes to think. If you start bitching about your fellow customers in their hearing, you cannot really be surprised if they then become pretty riled! Just because you didn't say it to her face, doesn't mean she has to suck it up, no matter how much you feel she deserved it. If I heard someone bitching about me to a shop assistant in that passive-aggressive sort of way, I might well insult them right back (which is not say I support either course of action)

TBH I would have gone shopping for a bra by myself, (or taken the baby if absolutely pushed, ie he couldn't have been left with his dad for an hour) not taken the whole family along.

Thank you everyone. I went to take DS swimming, just the 2 of us for some quality time.

The shop is a big department store but a one off in this town I think.... I would name but I slightly afraid that one of you may have seen me running out sobbing wearing my horrible glasses and with massive leaking boobs!

Oh and can I add, DS was never ever in the changing room. He shouted at me from outside the changing room so he didn't see her half naked or anything!

ccf good point well made but i think it was the way she said it. I have had a mastectomy and am always a little nervy around the showers at the gym when little kids are flapping around the curtain and i once had to say "oo can you keep him away im naked in here" i would not however been rude to or about the child or its parents unless i had asked politley several times to no avail.It seemed ott and unecessary to me.

CCF I could understand your point if he'd been pulling back curtains but he wasn't. He was outside the changing room with DH and called for me. She shouted at him from behind the curtain and within the changing room.

What a vile old woman. Maybe she had dementia or something. If I was you I would print a letter in the local paper to say all the things you wanted to say back, especially 'axe incident' suggestion.

Don't let the old bitch get you down, but also complain to the shop that the abuse customer was allowed to stay in the shop and you were MADE to leave!

I would not let this rest, as otherwise this mad old witch will carry on doing it to other people

The thing is the breast feeding councillor told me to use that specific shop and they were meant to be very good at fitting proper feeding bras. I would say that most women who might need a massive feeding bra may actually have a baby So they must have had some experience of children being in there.

Yes in hindsight I would ask them to wait outside, but this was on of those department stores where it's all open plan so there was Phase 8 and then lingerie right next to each other, DH and DC's were waiting waiting in the clothes bit but yes DS ran off and called for me outside the changing rooms.

CCF he did not barge in on her, just called out from outside! There is no need to be rude. She snapped at op unessesarily when she was only looking for bras and not getting to the front of the queue. T:hen

DS then called out 'where's Mummy' and the woman stuck her head out the chaging room and shouted at DH 'For God' sake take that horrible child out of here'.

Downright rude CCF no excuse for it, just because the person is old does not excuse them from such appaling behaviour. I have had some experience of this myself, I was in the bus queue first in line, i stepped back to let some elderly people on, just barged past no thank you or smile or ackowledgement, they have a god given right to be rude .

Thanks mumcentre and lady