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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have cried over what another customer said?

161 replies

StrictlyTory · 10/10/2010 13:07

Ok today I woke up with really engorged breasts, DC2 is 2 weeks old. The BF councillor told me to go to a large department store in town and have some feeding bras properly fitted...

So off I went with DH, and 2 DC's in tow. Bra fitting dept had 2 staff on and there was 1 other old woman in there. I asked where the maternity bras were and the old woman snapped at me that she was first in the line for fitting. I was Hmm as I wasn't trying to get ahead, just find a bra first!

Anyway DS started playing up a bit but DH had him pretty much under control so went into the changing room, old woman was there too. She had asked for at least a dozen bras to be fitted so the fitter kept telling me to wait which was fine. DS then called out 'where's Mummy' and the woman stuck her head out the chaging room and shouted at DH 'For God' sake take that horrible child out of here'. I heard this from behind my curtain and for a few mins was in such shock, half assuming it was a very odd joke! Realising it wasn't I got dressed and ran after DH.

Decided to by a bra without being fitted properly as I had tried bra on and it felt ok and I was in such pain I just wanted a bra! While paying the fitted whispered to me how rude the other woman was, I was Hmm at it being whispered to save the old womans feelings and I just said how DS was only 2 and how shocked I was that a grown woman would shout at him like that...

So, finished paying and walked past the changing room where the woman popped out to shout at me that I was a rubbish mother and DS should have respect for old people Shock

I immediately burst into tears and stammered that he was 2, we had a 2 week old baby and I has hugely engorged breast and was in a lot of pain and just wanted a fitted bra! Blush

She then told me to get out the shop, to which the fitter started leading me to the door! AIBU to have sobbed in public and be pretty upset that the fitter allowed the woman to talk to us all like that?

OP posts:
pigletmania · 11/10/2010 10:42

Coming to think of it, the dad should have taken the baby and child away somewhere else for a bit so that the op could try and buy bras on in peace, without having to worry about the children. What was the point of the dad hanging around the chaging rooms, would have made better sense to me. But that does not excuse the dreadful behaviour of the woman.

SkylineDrifter · 11/10/2010 12:14

I'm not going to go on one side or the other, but do feel for you OP. You were treated very badly.

However, I AM going to take you all up on the 'She's 62, she's old, it must be dementia' thing.

I'm 60! I'm not old!!! My mind is as sharp as it ever was. I'm capable of looking after all five of my grandchildren (9, 7, 6, 4 and 21 months) all by myself for as long as they need it. I can get myself up in the morning, and can actually do up my own bra! I can drive myself from Scotland to the south of England without any help. I can hold down a full time job. I can mow my own lawn. I can go to rock concerts. I can climb the occasional mountain. Heck, I can even negotiate Tesco for the weekly shop all on my own!

So ladies - how will you feel when you hit the magic 60 and find that you're 'old'? 60's the new 40, dontcha know.

LittlebearH · 11/10/2010 12:22

Wow what an old cow.You should have told her to get a new HRT patch...Dont shop there again. The pain of engorgement, sympathies.

ColdComfortFarm · 11/10/2010 12:23

compare and contrast the last two posts...

MadAboutQuavers · 11/10/2010 12:25

Strictly - by the time I got to the end of your OP, I thought this was a wind up Hmm

Not because I can't believe this woman didn't behave like this, but because I can't believe you took it without punching her head clean off her bastard shoulders

You were hormonal, tired and in lots of discomfort. I would have cried too - but only after verbally knocking her into next week

How fucking dare she speak to you like that. Not the fitter's responsibility to referee though - because you were both customers after all

Oh, and age is irrelevant. It DOES NOT excuse sheer rudeness and open hostility Angry

MadAboutQuavers · 11/10/2010 12:26

And as has been said - 62 is definitely not old anyway!

Janos · 11/10/2010 12:36

What a nasty piece of work! I agree that age is irrelevant. You get unpleasant people of all ages.

I hope you are feeling a little better Strictly.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 11/10/2010 12:43

I'm with CCF

This thread is vile.

I take it the woman was white. Otherwise we'd have been referring to her as a mad black bitch, no?

proudnscary · 11/10/2010 12:56

Jenai - What the fuck??!!

Look, as I said on here earlier, I think the whole scenario has been exaggerated by OP (I don't buy that the woman called her a 'rubbish mother'... I just don't) and it's ridiculous that everyone's up in arms because the OP has just had a bleeding baby!! It sounds like two self-important madams had a stand off in a fucking bra department!!!!

But I don't think the weird jump to 'posters could have been/were nearly racist' is warranted. That's bonkers

pigletmania · 11/10/2010 13:13

Good on you skylinedrifter thats great, hope I am like that when I reach 62. Your like my 74 year old aunt who goes swimming, mind as sharp as a pin, still drives, goes to the gym, looks after her grandkids, 2.6, 6,8 years, and is a lovely person so is not an old bag Grin.

Jenai what the hell are you on! Some people have ishooos.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 11/10/2010 13:13

proud, you're probably right. But I get so pissed off with these threads where someone older than the OP is accused of being mean/incompetent/some other crime and everyone jumps in with the "evil/stupid old bitch" type comments. Never mind the fact that the woman was only 62.

I share your thoughts that the OP is exagerated. I often think that (of threads like these, not of the OP!). Perhaps I'm lucky, but these situations never, ever happen to me (nor to anyone I know irl) in quite the same kind of way. Nor have I ever witnessed them happening to someone else. The dialogue is always in a really Hmm style, It's Take a Break language.

pigletmania · 11/10/2010 13:16

If I am in the ripe years I turn into a person like my great auntie than people can call me an old bag because thats what i would be.

proudnscary · 11/10/2010 13:26

Yes Jenai, I agree. It's like a scene from EastEnders. When all the good script writers were off sick. And acted by Babara Windsor!!

And yes 'evil cow' comments are ludicrous and so aggressive.

But your racist comment was a bit looney and off topic Wink!!!

SkylineDrifter · 11/10/2010 13:40

Thank you pigletmania - I bet you'll be a fantastic 62 year old!

Original poster
StrictlyTory · 11/10/2010 13:52

Right sorry for not replying for a while, I've had the HV round and it's mastitis so I'm getting some anti biotics from the GP this afternon so it should all clear up soon, and hopefully without me crying in public again! Grin

I know some people think I was really pathetic to take it, and I do really wish I hadn't cried and probably given the woman the satisfaction of writing me off as hormonal rather than making her see how rude she was.

I did tell a RL friend what happened today and we both had a laugh over how you can always think of a great retort after you've left!

OP posts:
mumblechum · 11/10/2010 14:03

Glad you're on antibiotics and hope you feel better soon. Mastitis is horrible.

BTW, why DID the whole family go shopping for your bra?

Original poster
StrictlyTory · 11/10/2010 14:03

As for the fitter, by problem was just that she was happy enough to whisper to me at the till about how rude and nasty the woman was but then when she started shouting at me again she didn't say anything.

OP posts:
Mermaidspam · 11/10/2010 14:07

Some people on this thread really need a good shag.

skandi1 · 11/10/2010 14:09

Poor you!!! Thats awful! So incredibly rude.

There is nothing worse than having to go shopping (serious shopping/must have items as opposed to the window variety) with small ones in tow AND being engorged!

When DD was tiny and BFing I would quite easily get in a flap if out in shops and she'd kick off. It would make be sweaty and red faced. And if there were comments from others about shrieking infant, I would often feel like crying.

So no you are NOT unreasonable to cry.

Original poster
StrictlyTory · 11/10/2010 14:11

Only because DH needed to do some stuff in town anyway and the BF councillor gave me the impression that this place was really good with feeding bras so I did think that it would be a bit more child friendly.

In hindsight when I saw that it wasn't that child friendly I should have told them to wait outside the shop, but the fitter kept saying she would see me in a second so I thought we'd be in and out but then the woman kept having more and more fitted... DH and the DC's were waiting for me in the Phase 8 section before the lingerie, so I didn't think they were in the way until DS ran to outside the changing room and called for me.

OP posts:
mumblechum · 11/10/2010 14:12

Grin at mermaidspam. Why do you have a pic of your back door on your profile btw?

Mermaidspam · 11/10/2010 14:16

Ah, it was to demonstrate my shitty conservatory (constructed from drainpipes, by the previous house owner) Blush

Forgot to remove it!

Aitch · 11/10/2010 14:17

am pmsl and simultaneously depressed at how many people think that 62 is old, btw.

mumblechum · 11/10/2010 14:30

Not just old, Aitch, but shrivelled, wizened and crone-like, apparently Hmm.

Whereas no children are ever brattish, loud, snotty or badly behaved...(not having a pop at yours, btw, OP)

Pixieonthemoor · 11/10/2010 14:36

62 is not old at all so she doesnt really have any excuse at all (some old people are just cranky and use age as an excuse). She is simply an utter bitch and you were not being at all unreasonable - poor poor you. I am SO sorry. My 2 yr old was making a lot of noise in the supermarket the other day and despite the fact that I was very audibly telling him to keep it down, a man on crutches made a nasty comment to me. I felt awful and it was nothing like what you faced. You have my sympathy! She was lucky she didnt get an earful back, spiteful cow.