Back to the start...

[pinkclouds26]

I have been on and off alcohol for the past couple of years. It has got to a point where I drink too often and at times too much. It is not worth the anxiety, broken sleep, the money, the arguments with dp...

I have learned the hard way the moderation doesn't work for me, the longest I went off alcohol was 6 months and I actually felt amazing. The minute I decided to have a few, I was back to square one, I have had numerous false starts since then, but always found an excuse to have a drink again, a holiday, a party etc. It wasn't easy being alcohol free, but it was so worth it. It is time to start again. I really wish I wasn't back to the start but I suppose I do have a lot more knowledge behind me this time

Anyone any tips for getting through the first few days?

Welcome @Cookingandfoldingthings! I think most of us have had a few attempts at this, but I remind myself that I have managed to do it before and I can do it again, hopefully for longer this time. And it also reminds me not to become complacent, as it can be easy just to have a moment where you decide to pick up a drink and undo all your hard work.

Today I am feeling grateful for waking up early, not feeling anxious or nauseous, and enjoying a cup of tea before everyone else gets up.

Hey @confusedlots nice to meet you! Hope you enjoyed that cuppa.

Hi all, feeling a bit better 34 days today, how is everyone doing?

hello, 34 days here too. Friday struggles again. Long day at work today. dd being a stroppy teenager and all I want is a glass of wine tonight.

Will try to play it forward. One glass can turn into a bottle which turns into a midnight feast which turns into feeling pants for the whole of tomorrow.

I just wanted to say thank you to this thread! I have resonated with so many posters & it inspired me to finally stop - I had cut down & was only drinking on weekends, but it was just a repeating cycle of regret. Plus I work out really hard & I was just undoing all the good work every week.

It's only been 3 weeks, and i still find it difficult thinking that I can still do the same things, but just not have a drink. And yes, saves money too. Plus I used to have a drink whilst cooking which was bl**dy carnage I agree Fridays are the worst too.

Just done my second day!
I’m quite pleased with myself, if I’m honest. The hidden bag of M&Ms has taken a bit of a beating but they’re alcohol free so that’s ok

Well done anyone else who has stuck to their guns tonight, particularly you old experienced ones who’ve done multiple weeks! Keep it going

Welcome @Cookingandfoldingthings! good to have you along

@herbetta i think I save up all my stress relief for a Friday. Interestingly we wanted to celebrate something last night and I felt a bit lost without a glass of fizz. I’m wondering if I could do just the odd glass like that. Not sure yet. Not willing to risk it just yet but it’s a thought that’s hovering there x

@WhitegreeNcandlei know what you mean about wondering if you might be able to have the odd drink in the future, but sadly past experience has shown me that’s usually the start of a slippery slope, but for now I’m trying not to think too far into the future.

I’ve already taken the kids out this morning and we are back home and I’m enjoying a coffee before getting stuck into a few jobs around the house. Feeling very pleased with myself!

How is everyone doing?

@confusedlots we had a lovely Sunday morning here too, up out and early for breakfast and a cycle, we haven't done that as a family in years and it felt so good.

I must admit I had a wobbly week, there were a few occasions that I could have went for a bottle of wine and almost even suggested to DP to go to the pub at one point. Compared to the week before I was almost certain as I could be that I would never drink again!

Absolutely nothing happened (that I can see) triggered it. That is the scary part, nothing different to the past few weeks, no stress, it was just a feeling that came over me.

I feel a bit more on track now again, but I am not taking anything for granted and play on reading more quit lit.

It really is a rollercoaster of a journey. Day 36 xx

Still matching your days @pinkclouds26 ! I think it’s when it sneaks up on me that I think oh, just one would be ok. I’m noticing that I definitely want to use alcohol more when I’m stressed - and that’s the word. I’m using it to avoid feelings.

@WhitegreeNcandle I feel the same, the worst part is I know exactly where one will lead as I have tried moderation a few times after long stints of abstaining. Looking too far ahead is a big problem too, we are making a lot of plans in the run up to Halloween and Christmas and a lot of them relate heavily to alcohol in our extended family unfortunately, so it is giving me a lot of anxiety. I have to go back to taking it 1 day at a time. Well done on 36 days xx

My little cat died last night. He was just a baby, the vet thinks it was an undiagnosed heart condition. I am broken but that boy saved me and I won't do him wrong by failing him now. Its fucking hard tho. I'd love to be able to drink away how this feels.

Not quite 3 yet, an absolute terror. He deserved the best version of me and a lot of my sobriety came from me making a promise that I would always look after him. Sounds stupid I know, when I think of how my drinking affected other humans. But that little cat was my biggest motivation.

@Gofaster2023i’m so sorry to hear about your cat. Life can be so cruel sometimes. What was his name? It sounds like he was a great comfort to you.

just remember that dealing with these emotions with a hangover and alcohol induced anxiety would be even worse. Be kind to yourself.

@Gofaster2023 so sorry about your cat. I think animals often have a place in our hearts that humans can’t fill. I know my dog hears a lot more than my husband sometimes. Be kind to yourself x

His name is one of a kind (as in, we made it up) but it suited him perfectly. He was my little shadow. I just feel so empty.

@Gofaster2023 I am so sorry to hear that, I am an animal lover myself, I know how much they are part of the family and how much it hurts when they pass, especially when it is before their time it is even more difficult xx

Thank you.

Day 39 here, how is everyone doing?

I think the novelty has worn off if that makes sense. I know I feel better in general and I am much, much better off not drinking, but I am plodding along, eating way too much and feeling very sluggish. I think I need to re focus and put energy into some sort of exercise. I hate exercise, I have never been or will never be a gym girlie, I get bored on walks, my knees can't handle running... I enjoyed a bike ride last week but the faff getting the bikes loaded up lol

Does anyone have any suggestions or even non exercise related activities, I need something to look forward to in the evenings that isn't stuffing my face amd maybe something exciting for the weekend?

I can relate to the fading affect bias William Porter refers to in Alcohol Explained, I caught myself thinking again today that a few drinks would be ok. It most definitely would not be ok.

Hi OP, I just read all your posts - so inspiring because that’s how I’ve been any time I’ve tried to give up before. I even managed six months in 2024. But I recall being really upbeat about the process one day and then feeling bereft the next day.. it really is a rollercoaster.
Anyway, it’s Day 5 (again) for me and I know in my heart of hearts that I can’t moderate no matter what ‘rules’ I set for myself.
So, please keep this thread going - I need it 🙏

@Cupofteaafterwards well done on day 5! This thread has helped me so much, I am so glad it is helping others too. I hate coming on being negative, but I suppose if it helps someone else who might be feeling down realise it is part of the journey, it might stop them picking up a drink 🤔

Well done everyone, it’s so motivating to hear everyone’s stories!

Day 26 here, and I’m feeling apprehensive for the weekend. We have a night out planned, it’s a family occasion, but there will be alcohol flowing, and I haven’t really done any nights out since I stopped drinking nearly 4 weeks ago.

I have a rotten cold today, so plan to get a hot shower and into my pyjamas and get into bed early and not worry too much about the weekend.

@pinkclouds26i have found decluttering and sorting out my house to be a great distraction. But then I have a lot of decluttering and sorting to do! I’ve been keeping a note of how many items are leaving the house and although it’s a slow process it’s motivating to see the progress.

@confusedlots we are getting through a lot of jobs we put off too, it is satisfying, one thought I have though is that we always had a bottle or 2 of wine after a big job or clean so that has been difficult but we have done it a few times now.

I got through a wedding very early on, but funny enough I have another family event coming up and I am a bit nervous, I will drive and have already committed to bringing people but the way I have been feeling lately I hope I can enjoy it as much. What did help was a lot of redbull and nice food, would there be anything you could order there even nice snacks so you feel you are having a treat? It might sound a bit unhinged but I also found it helpful to think I would wake up the next day anxiety free and they wouldn't. Not that I would wish that on them, but I did deserve some perks if that makes sense!

I think I am going to treat myself to a few nice bits today, candles, maybe new cozy throws for the couch and I plan to read some quit lit, I need to invest in this because it feels a bit like I am white knuckling at the moment.

Jigsaws?? They really do work the mind & can get you engrossed.

I never used to like exercise but now I love it, particularly gym classes - a complete mix from weights to pilates and abs to cardio. Plus it's all so beneficial for your future health & lifespan.

Day 40 something here for me. Totally get the white knuckling bit. My brain just keeps telling me, oh look you can do it, if you can do 40 days you can easily have a few glasses then start again. It’s like a little evil voice sat on my shoulder. The other thing is one of the reasons I don’t drink the the associated overeating. The first few weeks I didn’t overeat but I am now - just replacing one vice with another so then my brain says what’s the point. Deep down I know I’m better off and need to be kind to myself. It’s interesting really how much I self sabotage.