Back to the start...

[pinkclouds26]

I have been on and off alcohol for the past couple of years. It has got to a point where I drink too often and at times too much. It is not worth the anxiety, broken sleep, the money, the arguments with dp...

I have learned the hard way the moderation doesn't work for me, the longest I went off alcohol was 6 months and I actually felt amazing. The minute I decided to have a few, I was back to square one, I have had numerous false starts since then, but always found an excuse to have a drink again, a holiday, a party etc. It wasn't easy being alcohol free, but it was so worth it. It is time to start again. I really wish I wasn't back to the start but I suppose I do have a lot more knowledge behind me this time

Anyone any tips for getting through the first few days?

@confusedlots thank you. I love that bit about the more you do it the more it reinforces that you can do it. Tonight was the first time I’ve ridden out a really strong genuine pull to drink. So now I know it’s possible.
Your world sounds similar to mine with kids, work, laundry, the morning scramble.

I think there’s a saying that when a craving hits you just need to do the next right thing. I’m a bit tired at the moment but in the morning I am going to write a list to look at in a tough moment

@Todayisanewday75 oh yes please.
does that saying mean to just do something, keep busy, put the washing away, have a shower, put the bins out etc?

Haven’t made my list but found this on Instagram and have written it down to read in a wobbly moment:

Drinking won’t give you what you’re looking for.
You’ve already made it through hard days before.
You don’t have to decide forever, just don’t drink today.
Do something small instead, yoga, shower, fresh air, comfort show.
Tomorrow morning you will be so glad you didn’t give in.
You’re not missing out on anything, you’ve done it all before.
This feeling is temporary.
Alcohol is a toxin, your body is trying to protect you.
It literally makes you unwell in so many ways.
You’ll either wake up proud or disappointed.
You’re allowed to find this hard.
This version of you is so worth it.
The moment you choose different the loop ends and the growth begins.

@Poopgoestheweasel I think it means choose something small, manageable and healthy to help you stay in the moment and let the craving pass

Good morning, I've sadly been absent as I had a major slip up. So I'm back to the start.....will check in tomorrow

@Onlymeandyou nice fresh start for September.

I had the dreaded drinking dream last night, it was so real. I feel out of sorts this morning, not sure if it is related but will get on with the day.

Welcome to everyone new and everyone coming back, I feel for me it has taking quite a few attempts to stick and I am hoping this is my time, but we definitely learn from every attempt and every slip xx

@Onlymeandyou i was listening to the audio book version of Quit Like A Woman and the author was saying that it’s a bit crazy with sobriety you’re just meant to abstain forever more, basically that to succeed and not fail at this task you have to just achieve it immediately and not mess up. Surely we need to learn how to do it like any other skill in life. And that can mean making mistakes and trying again.

Thankyou for your support, it's good to be on the journey with others who have been and are going through the same

@Onlymeandyou It is very much a journey, just one we need to not give up on. Progress not perfection

Hello everyone. Really finding some of the advice here helpful - like the saying do the next right things. That could be applied to many parts of my life!!

Day 18 here. Sleeping a lot better and also less anxiety I think. Really struggling with that in peri - I think 25 year old me would be really quite shocked at 45 year year old me!

Day 20 here, looking forward to another fresh weekend, I read somewhere that sleep starts to really settle at 30 days. I hope so, I feel exhausted today it is up and down for me. Still better than when I was waking at 3am full of anxiety!

How is everyone coping with the weekend? I haven’t been feeling well, I think a combination of feeling run down after a busy summer, getting back into the school/work routine and my body reacting to suddenly coming off the booze after being used to its usual bottle of wine a night.

So I went to bed last night when the kids did as I was exhausted. Feeling a bit better this morning and just going to have as easy a weekend as possible, while also continuing on the house decluttering/organising, will just pick a few easy cupboards so as not to get overwhelmed.

I guess it was an easy Friday night for me in terms of staying off the wine as I had no desire at all to drink. But I’ll take that as another day under my belt and here I am on Day 7.

Wishing everyone a successful weekend and that lovely feeling of waking up after making the decision not to drink.

Day 28!

I survived a gathering at a friend's last night! Took some alcohol free beers and they kept me going. Everyone else was drinking, even my friend that said she would give up with me!

I'm so glad this morning that I didn't cave in :)

@confusedlots exhausted here too, but dc have sports so up and out bright and early and no mental gymnastics trying to calculate what time I had to finish drinking to be able to safely drive the next morning, it was fantastic!

@MindBodySoul 28 days well done you! 21 days here today and I can honestly say I haven't wanted to drink at home at all the past week. I do keep thinking ahead to events coming up, but I need to stop doing that and keep taking things day by day. I feel so much more positive, my nervous system seems to be healing. Sleep still isn't 100% but I am trusting the process. Anxiety has reduced so, so much.

Keep up the good work everyone ❤️

@pinkclouds26 im day 21 too! That’s interesting that sleep gets better after 30 days.

Im on two threads at the moment - this one and a lose half a pound a week slowly. I’m having much more success with my abstinence from drink than food. Some might say I’m even replacing it😂

Thank you @pinkclouds26 !

I managed to get all the house jobs done today as well that would have usually been put off until tomorrow!

I feel like I've gained a day a week ( which I have really!) which has actually made it feel like time has slowed down! Weekends are longer and more relaxed! I'm not cramming everything in on a Sunday.

I just had no idea how much time I was actually wasting!

Keep going everyone! Xx

That’s great @MindBodySoul

I struggled yesterday. At a school event when I’d normally have had a couple of glasses of wine (which is wrong in itself). Then felt a big sense of relief by the evening (ds first week of boarding over and DD’s first day at a new school). So would normally have carried on with the wine. I replaced it with really bad eating though which is not good! Need to look on the bright side though.

Well done @WhitegreeNcandleits really hard to navigate those situations where you would normally just reach for a drink, you must feel so proud of yourself today.

@MindBodySouli totally get what you mean about gaining time. DH took the kids out for the whole day yesterday because I wasn’t feeling great, and because I didn’t feel like being too active, I actually decided to sit down and do my tax return! Now I know there are lots of other ways I could have spent the day, but just spending a couple of hours getting it done has made me feel lighter as it’s another thing ticked off the list.

I am definitely over eating but am allowing myself to! Maybe once I hit 30 days I might address it but ine battle at a time, we are all doing so well. I find myself so much more productive in the evenings, I would usually be slumped on the couch once dinner was cooked that was it for me, but my energy is increasing and I am getting so much more done.

I did have the awful drinking dream last night again it was very unsettling, but I was relieved when I woke. I found jess gets sober on tiktok very helpful, she is at around 70 days and a lot of what she spoke about rings true.

Just popping in from a sober September thread I’d started at @pinkclouds26 invitation. Feeling great on week one (I do two or three months dry each year but edging towards trying to build my life naturally around drinking as little as possible).

I haven’t had time to read the full thread yet so maybe you’ve all addressed this, but I live in a sociable area with much ‘just another glass’ culture so aware I am having to negotiate a change in social life as well.

Yes @Autumnbeaches thats what I find too. This weekend was Friday night rugby watching a school first team play where many have a few drinks. Then yesterday a reception at school where drinks are consumed too. It’s quite amazing how much is around when you look!

F

Big Welcome @Autumnbeaches and @babasaclover. I completely get what you mean.

My circle of Friends and Family are all big drinkers, they actually looked at me like I had 2 heads the last time I gave up for 6 months. In their eyes I was probably one of the least problematic drinkers in the group which says a lot 😳

I allowed that to be my excuse for a long time, as awful as it sounds I would tell myself I am not that bad... such and such is worse...

Everyone approaches it differently and from what I have read on here some prefer to avoid social settings in the early days, but I like to go on as normal as I can to face my fears if that makes sense. Every first I get under my belt I feel a bit better, had my first family wedding and have another family party coming up soon. This might not work for everyone.

It is definitely hard though, I find playing the tape forward helps too. If I do feel like I really want a drink I picture myself awake at 3 am dehydrated and anxious, worried if said anything inappropriate on a night out or embarrassed myself and it usually stops me wanting one!

From past experience I also find driving to events helpful so I can take myself away when needed and am not relying on waiting on someone else.

I have not told a lot of friends and family this time (again this might not be the best advice, some people need support and have a fantastic support network) I have made a few excuses, because previously they actually tried to encourage me to have one or 2 when I told them I was 'off alcohol'. I have seen others talk about this too, I am not sure if it makes them reflect on their own alcohol relationship and they are uncomfortable with that. I could be wrong, but until I get to 6 months plus I think I will be keeping quiet.

day 23 here, feeling my energy coming back, this is the best day so far, hope everyone is doing good?