Back to the start...

[pinkclouds26]

I have been on and off alcohol for the past couple of years. It has got to a point where I drink too often and at times too much. It is not worth the anxiety, broken sleep, the money, the arguments with dp...

I have learned the hard way the moderation doesn't work for me, the longest I went off alcohol was 6 months and I actually felt amazing. The minute I decided to have a few, I was back to square one, I have had numerous false starts since then, but always found an excuse to have a drink again, a holiday, a party etc. It wasn't easy being alcohol free, but it was so worth it. It is time to start again. I really wish I wasn't back to the start but I suppose I do have a lot more knowledge behind me this time

Anyone any tips for getting through the first few days?

Here I am at the start of day 4. Slept like a log, my body needs this. Feeling strong and motivated at the moment. Apprehensive about the witching hours of 4-6pm.

I found fizzy water really helpful. I dont know why - I've heard it suggested for beer drinkers but beer is one of the only drinks I can drink responsibly so it's not that the water is replacing that! For some reason, the strong sensation of bubbles and the full feeling really helped distract me in the early days. Plus, im absolutely shattered today after a mad week at work and my skin still looks better than it did after a full weekend of rest when I was drinking!

Sorry, meant to say that the almost painful bubbles kind of give me the firey feeling from a spirit. Obviously it's not the same but its something.

@Gofaster2023 thank you. Will buy fizzy water today. Luckily I love the stuff! How long have you been alcohol free?

Following! I've started this week and today being Friday is the first real challenge because DH will have a drink (not much).

@Incredulousaboutlife , what do you mean by the online diaries? Could you send a link? Sounds interesting.

@Gofaster2023 @Poopgoestheweasel I recommend Dash water if you can find it, I get it on Amazon. It's flavoured but very subtle and no sugar.

I think I need to join this thread - Day 1 again and I feel so down and fed up with myself and terrified at what I’m doing to my health.

It’s like ground hog day; I promise myself I won’t drink again, write my list of all my reasons and then it only takes having a bad day and before I know it I’m a bottle down. I mean what do I even get out of it? I live alone and spent yesterday evening getting pissed very quickly on a bottle of Prosecco and then went to bed! I don’t even remember the end of the evening, but then woke up from 1am onwards with raging anxiety and fear, depressive thoughts and full of self loathing! Why on earth do I keep doing this to myself?!

So thanks OP for starting this thread and for everyone else that’s contributing, I intend to check in every day - I feel if I could just get a few weeks under my belt, I might have a hope of sustaining long term, or that’s the hope!

So I found counting days actually was more harmful as I would end up counting days I could have a drink for whatever reason.
Now I go off percent out of 200 days I have drank once so my score is 99.9% and that feels better for me. Also drinking that one time put me off as I had a hangover from hell. Feel much better not drinking, my skin is clearer, I get less headaches, my heads clear and it's nice to jump in the car next day if I fancy going out instead of having to avoid driving as the alcohol is still in my system. I focus on what I can do not drinking.

Thanks for checking in @pinkclouds26 I'm slipped up the night before last, the cravings got the better of me. So I'm going to check in daily for accountability as I really need to get through this

8 months and counting! And I bought those alcohol free gin and tonics from aldi only to find someone had put a real one on the shelf and I'd accidentally picked it up. One taste and it was awful! It was the easiest pour down the sink ever and that's coming from someone who would down the dregs from a bottle before putting it in the recycling. What I would say is that none of the interventions helped me at all. I never got to the root cause of why I felt so bad but I took time to do things for me, gradually felt better and only then did I actually manage to stop drinking.

I just about destroyed my life before hand tho, in case that sounds flippant. I know hoe hard it is to change and for me it wasnt until I was ready, even though I did want to.

Today was a very busy day with wedding prep for my sister. We were transporting all the wine to the venue (it did set off cravings)and then we went to my mothers to do a few bits and they all had drinks. I am at home now in my Pjs with a cup of tea and am feeling better and glad I didn't give in. I think Wednesday the wedding might be tougher than I thought, but I will feel better to have my first big occasion under my belt.

I am so glad I posted now and the accountability definitely is helping. I know that feeling all to well, not remembering bits of the night and the anxiety, I actually don't think I woke once last night, it is so strange because for me its usually bang on 3am, so dehydrated amd anxious and I then end up doom scrolling for hours.

Good morning, is nice to see more people on this thread. Day 3, feeling pretty good today. We had a family do last night at the pub for a few August birthdays, which can be a bit stressful but usually overall good only I found myself really cranky with DH who was drinking (that's fine usually) and then he invited everyone back to our house for more drinks, which I was not in the mood for but you just go along to get along hey? I didn't drink, it didn't bother me because I am desperate for this to be it for me, and also I dislike drinking when all the teenagers and their partners are around. Also, I went to buy a new top yesterday and stood in front of a full length mirror in bright light for the first time in a while and, well, let's just say that was a reality check as well. We have a party to go to tonight, and I'm confident I won't drink. I'm really appreciating this thread. Good luck everyone. Stay strong.

Hi @Itsafinebalance , I totally hear this. My quitting journey was really helped in the beginning by reading books by other women who've quit drinking. I also found a great hypnotist who I'd go and see every so often (I researched carefully and he was really good, the desire to drink would completely disappear for months after a session), and the combined effect of this was that over time I learned that I can stop drinking and stay stopped and that when I did, it felt great and not like I was missing out. This was a huge step for me. It wasn't the solution, but it helped me learn that it was possible. Now, I find that I can pull myself out and stay stopped. What I need to really solidify in myself is that staying stopped means not ever drinking because I can't moderate, and I can't just have one drink one night, I always end back up drinking every night and the effort to pull myself out is not only huge, but a stupid waste of time and energy. It also derails all the "undoing" of the drinking I inflict on myself... I.e.dark circles under eyes, that bloated feeling, anxiety, shame etc etc. I don't know if that helps. I'm not recommending hypnotherapy because I think there are a lot of cranks out there so unless you are confident in the practioner I'd be wary, but the books are great to start out with. You can do this, I promise. Yes its hard, but women are strong, and you can do it xx

Good on you all for quitting. Similar to pps I gave up 18 months ago - best thing I have ever done ! And daily now I am grateful for removing something from my life which had such a detrimental effect on my sleep, anxiety, long term health

I started with naked mind 30 challenge - that was brilliant for daily motivation, videos, podcasts etc. Also listened to lots of sober podcasts and lots of reading - bryony Gordon’s book and William porters alcohol explained were most helpful and insightful

and most of all I’ve just kind of gone to the next milestone or occasion to get through. So I thought I’ll do 30 days, then 50 then 100. Then I thought I’ll do my next birthday, holiday, Christmas by which point it’s back to 6 months, 200 days, 250 days etc. so always just a length of time to aim for

also I have gone on a mission to sample every non alcoholic / soft drink so now have a range of ‘favourites’ I save for weekends and special occasions. First holiday sober required lots of af substitutes. Second holiday didn’t even bother me. I’ve done lots of sober weddings. The joy of being able to drive home and be up normal time fresh as a daisy with only good memories rather than the ‘oh my god I was chatting to / dancing like’ thoughts is amazing

good luck - be proud of every day without a drink !!

Hello all, can I join? For the past year I’ve been trying and failing to give up the booze and am just so tired of it. I managed 5 months last year and felt great however this year has been lots of starts and stops. I just want to stop and never go back. This month has been dreadful due to lots of stress. But I do feel determined! Well done to all those with lots of sobriety time and sending strength to all others on this journey.

Good morning - awake at silly o'clock after a very disturbed night, but I know that will happen as I try to stay off the alcohol. I drank fizzy line last night! Strange dreams and tossing and turning, but I know it'll be worth it in the end. Stay strong everyone x

Yes its hard, but women are strong, and you can do it xx

Thanks @Manyanamanyana, and you are absolutely right, WE can all do this, and I am so determined that this has to be it! I just can’t keep doing this to myself. I deserve so much more than poisoning my body and brain like this. I want to feel good about me again, want to start being present in the moment instead of preoccupied with when my next drink is and counting down the days.

I woke up with a sore stomach after Thursday nights excess and body feels pretty battered - I’m just too old to cope with it these days, but I’m determined today and it really helps connecting with others that know what it’s like. I have a busy day with diy jobs and intend to go out soon for a lovely walk to clear the head and get in the right frame of mind. So have a good day everyone!

Hello all, so good to see this thread is picking up likeminded people, let’s hope it serves as a source of support and solidarity.
this is my day 5, in theory it could be a tricky one as it’s Saturday, but I’ve made a list of what I could do during those craving hours (read a page of book, make a tea, go for a scoot round the block with my kid) and I have a nice fizzy drink to have.

Im really impressed Op. I think you should be proud of yourself. Remember you can post on Wednesday if it helps keep you motivated. This thread is great. I remember feeling so awful like not drinking was a punishment. Going out felt like everyone knew I was being punished for my bad behaviour. I still do feel like that if I'm honest. I know my husband told a lot of his friends and everytime I see them I feel like they see this damaged soul who isnt allowed to drink. That's really hard for me. I've recently done lots of new things through work and volunteering and it's nice to be in new social circles as gofaster doesnt drink and not gofaster makes awful life choices and can't be trusted around drink. Has anyone else felt like that?

@Gofaster2023 yes I get that. I keep thinking how I’ll phrase it if I keep this up, to my partner and friends. They all seem to have complete control over their drinking. I don’t want to say I have given up, I’ll be more vague and say I just don’t fancy it, or some excuse. I won’t say “I’ve been sober for X days” or give reasons why it’s so great not to drink. Firstly because I don’t want to look silly if I drink again, but also because I don’t want them to wonder what was wrong with me to have to stop.

Its definitely easier now lots of people dont drink as im rarely the only one not drinking and especially in new groups of friends who dont know my back story. Quite a few of my friends do know but theyre my safe people so I don't mind that. Its the people close to my husband I worry most about because I dont know how much they know. Your plan seems very sensible.

Would love to join you

Welcome riding! I’ve just joined as well and on day 2 today and determined to keep checking in everyday!

I’m at 40 hours.

Luckily I’m working nights until Tuesday so not able to have anything in the afternoon/evening. I’ve also deliberately not purchased any alcohol so I don’t reach for it when I get home in the mornings, I fell into a bad habit of treating my mornings after a night shift like an evening and having a beer or glass of wine to help me unwind before bed.

Im finding Saturday afternoon and evening hard. Bit bored and would always reach for booze at this point.