Back to the start...

[pinkclouds26]

I have been on and off alcohol for the past couple of years. It has got to a point where I drink too often and at times too much. It is not worth the anxiety, broken sleep, the money, the arguments with dp...

I have learned the hard way the moderation doesn't work for me, the longest I went off alcohol was 6 months and I actually felt amazing. The minute I decided to have a few, I was back to square one, I have had numerous false starts since then, but always found an excuse to have a drink again, a holiday, a party etc. It wasn't easy being alcohol free, but it was so worth it. It is time to start again. I really wish I wasn't back to the start but I suppose I do have a lot more knowledge behind me this time

Anyone any tips for getting through the first few days?

@herbetta I didn't think of jigsaws we actually have quite a few packed away with all the board games. I think if I got myself into a routine with exercise and gave myself a chance it might help, I just need to motivate myself to start.

@WhitegreeNcandle last night was difficult and even today I find myself thinking similar to you. The last time I stopped for a few months I didn't really have this, it was a lot more positive and easier.

I am day 42 today but could easily just have a bottle of wine or go to the pub for a few. I really dont want to trigger anyone so hate saying it and I find myself staying away from the other thread because I feel like a bit of a fraud. I am struggling a lot with the idea of sticking with this.

Can I join in? I’ve just done another two days and hopefully today will be day 3. As others have mentioned there is often that voice saying - well, you’ve done a week, two weeks etc., surely you can have a glass or two then start again? But I always find those couple of glasses lead to a bottle (or two) and drinking daily, sometimes for weeks on end and then it’s hard to stop again.

One of the reasons I find it so hard to stop is that deep down I know I cannot control my alcohol intake and have to abstain; so there’s this other voice saying: you can’t ever drink again so just one last day…

And so the circle turns.

I think that’s why at AA they really hammer home the idea of keeping it in the day. One day at a time and not thinking about anything beyond that.

It’s so hard. Much respect to everyone trying to do this.

Good point @ConstantlyFuriosa. I’m going to try and think - I’m not
giving up drinking forever, I just dont Want to drink today. Mainly because of how I feel tomorrow. I cant remember a time when I actually want to drink. Like today, I’d love to walk to our local and have a few wines in the sun. But I know I’d sleep badly, waste today and feel pants tomorrow morning. So although I want it, I want the alternate more.

@ConstantlyFuriosa welcome. You have hit the nail on the head there, my worst fault in this journey is looking too far ahead, I need to work on that and take it back to day by day.

Thank you for the welcome @pinkclouds26

I’m still at the very much being compelled by the force of habit @WhitegreeNcandle , so when the urge strikes I often do take that walk to have a few wines instead of thinking it through. And then regret it and start again.

I went to some AA meetings a few years ago now, when I was drinking but it was moderate - or so I thought - but becoming problematic. And that one little mantra of ‘I will not drink today’ did lodge itself in my head, even if I didn’t always stick to that very sound advice.

But so far today the urges haven’t been too bad (they were dreadful yesterday) and I will not take a drink with you all today. (Hopefully!)

Day 43 just woke and listening to the rain in bed, grateful I didn't drink last night. It was tempting. Like others, I have been doing a lot of bits around the house and I think that was a trigger in itself. Not that I ever needed an excuse for a drink, but there used to be something so satisfying about doing a deep clean or clear out and getting a takeaway, lighting candles and a bottle of wine. Turns out the takeaway, candles and an early night was just as nice 🥰

I am going to make more of an effort to try to be more positive about my journey. Right now I am awake and feel content, If I had drank no doubt I would be full of anxiety, sick and annoyed.

Well done pink clouds. I think m that’s how I look at it too. I still have a nice time without alcohol. In fact, I often have a nicer time. DD and I watched legally blonde last night with popcorn and a candle and it was lovely. If I’d been drinking Dh and I would have watched tv on one room with wine and the kids in an other.

Well done pinkclouds, i am a full month in and not been at all tempted to have a drink 'now' but have some powerful wants to have a day off which for me means an afternoon/evening in the pub smoking and drink with no stop.

Needed the reminder of one day at a time as my cravings are all about future days. I will not drink with you today.

Well done @pinkclouds26 for not drinking. Like you, a ‘trigger’ for me is doing a big clean as I’d always ‘reward’ myself with wine and something nice to eat. But I have to start reminding myself that alcohol is the opposite of a reward and it’s actually far more rewarding to not drink.

Day 4 done. One day at a time, though.

Right, I need to find some rewards that aren’t food or wine. I’ve just replaced the weekend wine with crisps, chocolate and treat meals. I’m over a month in now and it’s time to tackle this. Any suggestions people?

In the early days I always allow myself to eat what I want, @WhitegreeNcandle as I know I’ll be craving more sugar from food. Beyond a month I have no idea! (It’s been a while since I got there.)

Day 5 done but my sleep is dreadful. About 3 hrs last night if that. And the urges are still bad. I can see the whites of my knuckles from here (she says, bleary-eyed.)

I shall persevere.

I am day 45 and only thinking about cutting back now, I allowed myself all the sugar, I am up almost a stone! I am not going to be too hard on myself but I do need to make some changes.

New month people! How is everyone getting on. Day 47 for me I think. Am following pink clouds though as I threw away by mistake the bit of paper where I had written the last time I drank!

Yip day 47 here 😁

I am feeling a bit better about it all the past few days. That was the longest September ever, seeing so many starting Sober October is giving me a bit of a boost, how are you finding it in general @WhitegreeNcandle

How is everyone else?