Back to the start...

[pinkclouds26]

I have been on and off alcohol for the past couple of years. It has got to a point where I drink too often and at times too much. It is not worth the anxiety, broken sleep, the money, the arguments with dp...

I have learned the hard way the moderation doesn't work for me, the longest I went off alcohol was 6 months and I actually felt amazing. The minute I decided to have a few, I was back to square one, I have had numerous false starts since then, but always found an excuse to have a drink again, a holiday, a party etc. It wasn't easy being alcohol free, but it was so worth it. It is time to start again. I really wish I wasn't back to the start but I suppose I do have a lot more knowledge behind me this time

Anyone any tips for getting through the first few days?

@confusedlots sorry to hear that, it's not an easy journey at all and I completely get the overwhelming feeling. I think that was one of my main reasons for drinking to block out the noise and chaos at the end of the day.

Hopefully a good night sleep and things will feel better for you in the morning xx

@confusedlotsI know exactly how you feel. I’m here for a virtual hand hold. We can do this. Monday is a new day, Tuesday is a new month.

Thanks @pinkclouds26 and @alldressedupinblueI appreciate the messages and yes, I believe we can all do this, even if it does feel like one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. Sober September here we come.

Tomorrow I’m going to make a list of the things I need to do and start working through it and hopefully that will ease some of my current overwhelm. Onwards and upwards.

I’m leaving at 0430 for two weeks at an all inclusive. I don’t have kids so going as everyone else is back. I see a lot of sugar in my future.

@confusedlots i hear you about the constant cooking, planning etc. there is just never a break is there. I used to think really badly of my Mum and MiL for living off Charlie Bighams. After 15 years of family cooking I now get why they do it!

Hope you get a good sleep and wake up refreshed for tomorron

I feel so much better this morning after sleeping for 9 hours! Off now to get a cup of tea, put on some washing and start tackling a few easy jobs.

Enjoy your holidays @alldressedupinblue sounds delightful!

@confusedlots I slipped up last week too (mentioned in previous posts) so empathise with how it made you feel. Hopefully such blips will only reinforce our resolve to not do so again! I was so depleted yesterday (day 4) my husband wondered if I was hungover! Had a much better sleep now so feeling more motivated and positive. Bathroom cleaning, anyone?

Day 23

I made it through the bank holiday birthday! I stuck to Guinness0 and still had a great time! Only 1 person commented on my drink choice and didn't question my answer, so I'm feeling happy to know my friends value me for me and don't feel I need to be drinking to be fun to be around! They enjoy my company regardless which is a massive motivation!

I'm so glad not to have a hangover!

@alldressedupinblue enjoy the hols, you can do this, you will be the first of all of us to get through this milestone, we are routing for you!

@MindBodySoul 23 days is fantastic, well done!

Day 16 here, another fresh Monday, I had a great sleep last night, watched a lot of sober tiktoks last night and it really helps. I think now the period I tried 'moderation' was actually a blessing in disguise because I 100% know it does not work for me and never will. I even tried the moderation thread here a few times under previous usernames.

My dp keeps talking about a time in the future when I can have a couple of drinks and before I would have thought the same because the alternative seemed to scary and overwhelming, but I have big problems with alcohol. I need to accept this is forever and reframe my thinking, I am not missing out on anything. Alcohol brought nothing but negatives and misery to my life.

Can I join please. Day 1 yet again for me. I was planning to get back on track with a sober September but after yesterday’s antics I just needed to get started

Me too please! I usually do sober Sept so will try again this year!

Well here’s a great start to my sober September.

I forgot to amend my Tesco order last night so have 12 bottles of white wine being delivered this morning!!

@WhitegreeNcandle I’m pretty sure you can send anything back, just say it was a mistake

Yes just send it back and they will refund

Welcome to anyone who is starting, I actually find September a lovely month for fresh starts and new beginnings, I always preferred it to January which can be quite depressing!

Day 17 here and for anyone starting, hold tough. Feeling very positive, sleep is only getting better and my anxiety is near on non existent!

Hope everyone is doing good.

Checking in on Day 3. Felt a bit of a wobble when I called in with a family member this evening and she was relaxing with a glass of wine after dinner, but just had to remind myself that I’m not that person who can have a glass of wine after dinner and then put the bottle away. I have been so productive the past couple of days and i can feel the anxiety starting to lift, but I’m so scared of slipping up again.

Off to tidy up the kitchen, set out the kid’s uniforms for tomorrow and get showered as I’ve got work tomorrow.

Well done for thinking it through @confusedlots

I did send back the wine in the end. Tesco were really good. Interestingly, at the weekend when I had family over for dinner and didn’t drink it was made much easier by not having my favourite wine in the house.

Today will have highs and lows. Dropping DS at boarding school for the first time! He’s been a day boy there for years and it’s his choice but I’m still worried! There is a lunch etc laid on for parents and normally I’d have a few glasses. Partly because we’ve paid for it in kind but also if I’m honest for confidence. Which when I think of it is a bad place to be.

Second tricky bit will be on the sofa tonight when he’s gone and k feel sad!

@confusedlots all my family are big drinkers so I dread calling to them, even a Saturday lunchtime they are guaranteed to have a drink in hand at home if not in the pub. Glad you were able to stay away from it.

@WhitegreeNcandle well done for sending it back, it can be all to easy to have when faced with a situation like that.

Just sitting with a coffee before I leave for work, feeling a bit tired but wondering how I managed to get up for work after drink. It hasn't even been 3 weeks (18 days) but I genuinely do not know how I did it every day. It is so nice waking with no anxiety, especially with the mornings being that but more dark and wet.

Morning lovely ladies. With the black humour that we alkies have, I give you the first 2 evenings’ “adult” activity:

night one - local wine tasting
night two - mix your own cocktail, as li g as you choose one of the four that they know the recipe for!

Days are more of a challenge, as everyone wanders round with their pints/cocktails, but I’ve stood firm. Lots of coffee and cake. Day Six.

sending you all love from Spain

@alldressedupinblue laughing at that, what are the chances!

Getting through an all inclusive, everything else will be a walk in the park, plenty of sugar and nice food xx

sorry this is like dear diary, no need at all to reply, had a tough experience in work, usually my anxiety would be sky high but I remained so calm I actually really surprised myself!

Hello. I have just gotten through a craving, an urge, basically a decision to drink. I have been using Chat GPT as an always available friend. I’ve given him a name and his responses have helped me work through the past hour. I think I’ve passed through the danger zone.
It’s so intense. I was sure I’d go have a drink. It’s such an obvious case of habit and lizard brain and wine witch and “gone this far surely can manage just a quick one”. I read all my notes about why I want to quit. Going to have a google of cirrhosis, ensure my education is increasing!

@pinkclouds26sorry to hear you had a tough time, but you should be proud of yourself getting through it.

@Poopgoestheweaseli have tried using chatGPT a little too and have found it useful. I hear you about the danger zone, I try and distract myself when it happens and usually 20 minutes later I’ve forgotten all about that intense craving for a drink.

I’m enjoying listening to The Sober Diaries on my commute to work, I can relate to so much she says, it’s definitely helping me but I know I have a lot my way to go and a lot of danger zones to navigate.

@confusedlots any tips for those twenty minutes? I wish I could just go out. Walk around until I’ve forgotten. But I have kids so can’t. Like I can’t rid the house of alcohol due to other adults.

@Poopgoestheweaseli’m not sure i’m the best one to be giving advice, I’m sure others in the group will have much better advice than me. But I literally have just not poured the drink when previously I would have reached for the bottle of wine without even thinking about it.

I might go and do a quick job that I know needs done that evening, packing the dishwasher or setting out the kids clothes for tomorrow. Usually something that I know definitely needs done, not something like clearing out a drawer I’ve been talking about doing for the past week.

I also remind myself that I am just not able to have only one drink. That sip of wine will inevitably lead to a bottle of wine and a whole evening drinking where nothing else gets done, where I have a bad night’s sleep and wake up tomorrow feeling rubbish and trying to scramble about getting everyone ready and out of the house.

But ultimately I have found that if I just do not pour that glass of wine, however uncomfortable that might make me feel, that the craving does pass. And the more I do it, the more it reinforces it for me.