I’m disgusted with myself

[L108763]

I went out yesterday and got very drunk. I hadn’t eaten anything so it happened quite quick.
from what I can gather, I’ve managed to get us thrown out of a bar
I’m horrified at my behaviour and feel suicidal now

@CustardySergeant I read it as she can remember some of the night but not all.

As a previous poster has said, if you are a drinker then it's inevitable that we hit an age and have an experience that makes us say ' no more'.

Don't make any rash hungover promises to yourself, if this is a one off it's unlikely you are an alcoholic - more you just need to reassess your limits.

As for the 'What happened'..Well, what's done is done. It wasn't premeditated and wouldn't have happened without being alcohol impaired. Apologise to people if you think it's necessary, but go easy on yourself.

For everyone commenting about the suicidal comment - the "beer fear" is a real thing - it's not entirely uncommon to feel depressed and anxious after a night of heavy drinking, especially if that amount of alcohol is unusual for you

Yep- alcohol does truly awful things to your mental health. I had to stop drinking for similar reasons. I'm a lightweight and getting drunk would cause me to not remember parts of the night so my brain would start to just make up stuff that I didnt actually do but it convinced me I did. Then I'd get obsessed with the thought I did something awful (when I didnt) and I'd ruminate obsessively over it making myself feel like absolute shit.

Unless you've experienced it, you have no idea how absolutely awful it is and how very strong the feeling is- it really makes you feel worthless.

When sober I never felt remotely anxious and never ruminated over anything - it was literally just the chemical after effects of the alcohol.

You'll be ok OP- as PP have said, it will pass and you'll feel better soon. My life is so much better without alcohol and the good thing is- you never ever have to feel like this again if you dont want to.

You are feeling shame op. This is a useful YouTube video about some psychological techniques to movie on from shame relating to drinking.

I realized that the only time I have done anything really stupid is when I had been drinking. I cannot possibly count the number of times I woke up in the same state you are experiencing. I gave up drinking a while ago and have never looked back,

@L108763

how are you feeling today OP? Hope the beer fear has cleared and you’re feeling lighter 💐

I second that!!

How's things? Xx