I’m disgusted with myself

[L108763]

I went out yesterday and got very drunk. I hadn’t eaten anything so it happened quite quick.
from what I can gather, I’ve managed to get us thrown out of a bar
I’m horrified at my behaviour and feel suicidal now

If you honestly feel suicidal, ring 999 and get some support from family or friends.

if you’re exaggerating about that, don’t.

If you are feeling suicidal there must be much much more to this than just getting drunk.

I’m guessing you’re very young?

People every weekend, go out and get drank, then either kicked out of a club/kebab shop/taxi.

Unless you woke up in a strangers bed or next to a dead person, you probably just need to chalk this up to experience. Definitely shouldn’t feel suicidal.

I’m not young. I’m in my 40s

I’m terrified there’s videos

You can be asked to leave just for simply being too drunk. I'm sure you didn't do anything overly wrong. Shit happens. Just use this as a learning point

If they requested you leave because you'd had enough to drink, that's not shameful. That's the bar protecting you, other people and themselves.

Waa this a one off or do you go out and get totally tanked frequently?

Your reaction is very extreme and worrying. Are you OK?

Terrified why exactly? Unless you’re a public figure I can’t see why it would remotely matter.

Who were you out with? Do you have any reason to think they would have videos of you when drunk?

Hi OP, like other replies here, people get very drunk all ages all types of people. Alcohol is a powerful drug.
One of the effects of alcohol is a feeling of depression. This is what you are experiencing right now.
You can't time travel so all you can do is deal with what is happening now. Take things calmly, focus on drinking some fluids and eating. Get some sleep if you can. And do not listen to anyone in real life or online trying to make you feel bad about what happened. Now isn't the time to reasonably consider what happened.
Please be kind to yourself.

Try to get some sleep today. This will feel better tomorrow.

Why are you terrifed and suicidal?
Its an extreme reaction and if you genuinely do feel like that you need to get some help as its not normal.
If you are just being a bit dramatic just learn from it and move on

You've got beer fear that's all. So common that it even has a name and is, like everyone has said, linked to the fact that alcohol can have this effect on you. It's a neurotoxin after all.

You weren't on your own so what's the feedback been from the others today?

Tbh, if this is a regular occurrence, that would he more of a concern. If it's a one off, I'd guarantee the others probably just think it's all a bit funny. If you drink alcohol, it happens sometimes - empty stomach and hitting you quickly.

As others have said, they probably just asked you to leave because they could tell you were already very drunk. They can’t keep serving people who are already in that state, they could kill someone and get into serious trouble. It wasn’t because you’d done anything wrong. If it makes you feel any better they most likely have to “throw people out” all the time. I doubt you were the only one even that day.

Terrified and suicidal is hugely extreme. Is this internet hyperbole or do you habe a history of mental health problems?

Who were you with? You said ‘get us thrown out of a bar’

My first (wrong) question is: how have you managed to get to 40 without getting drunk?

Even if there are videos, I can’t imagine you’ve done anything to feel suicidal about. Surely you were with others/friends who would look after you?

As PP said, eat, shower, sleep. Things won’t feel so bad tomorrow. You may need to brazen it out but I’m sure you didn’t do anything that bad.

it’s normal to have anxiety after drinking, it’s an effect from the alchohol, you will feel better than this in a few days - sleep if you can and remember it’s really not a big deal to anyone else - only feels like this to you. Take care

For everyone commenting about the suicidal comment - the "beer fear" is a real thing - it's not entirely uncommon to feel depressed and anxious after a night of heavy drinking, especially if that amount of alcohol is unusual for you.

It's also very common to become more intolerant of alcohol in your forties, it's often seen as a symptom of peri/menopause, unfortunately.

You’ve got major beer fear. Ask a friend to come over. Have a bath and a nap. Have some cups of tea. Order a Chinese later. I promise tomorrow it won’t feel like this.

This might be the universes way of telling you that change is needed - this might be a rock bottom that you need to make changes. Good things can come from bad/ horrible experiences and mistakes. Blame the culture that we live in that idolises alcohol and going out. We all make mistakes. It's about what you do going forward that matters.

Repeat ad infinitum today - I am a good person. I am a good person.
One mistake does not define you.

Who was "us"? Have your friends / partner said anything? Did you wake up in a police cell?

Drink lots of water, and have a bacon sandwich. This feeling of shame and sickness will pass. Keep a lid on your drinking in future, and don't threaten suicide.

Oh my goodness OP, this has happened to the best of us I promise! We’ve all been there - it’s just a drunken night, nothing that won’t be forgotten in 5 mins.

I agree with a pp that what you are experiencing right now are the depressive effects of alcohol, which is making this all seem so much bigger and worse than it is. You need some food/ hydration and lots of relaxation / sleep. Maybe a podcast/ some mindless tv to take your mind off things. You’ll feel much much better once it all wears off I promise!!

Todays news tomorrow’s history

own it and nobody will care

It’s yesterdays news already ….nobody will care