I’m disgusted with myself

[L108763]

I went out yesterday and got very drunk. I hadn’t eaten anything so it happened quite quick.
from what I can gather, I’ve managed to get us thrown out of a bar
I’m horrified at my behaviour and feel suicidal now

I was home quite early(before 9) so I doubt I’m still drunk. I don’t think I even drank that much to be honest
im on my own until later on.
I wish I could stop reliving it-not that I can actually remember it

Been here a million times x

This

Otherwise you just have the fear - you’ll be OK. Maybe use the opportunity to reset your relationship with alcohol though. It’s vile stuff

OP do some serious self care today. Sometimes actually saying out loud or writing it then binning helps ? Be kind to yourself and if you said what happened I guarantee loads of us would have done similar 💐

I’m going to stop drinking. For good. I clearly can’t just have one, and spiral out of control

Calm down mate. She hasn't killed anyone. She drunk too much and got asked to leave. Hope you don't get dizzy up there on that high horse.

That sounds very like me too! Please don't worry & just try & remind yourself that soft drinks exist too when you're out!

😂

You didn't seriously just tell someone she's right to feel suicidal because she did something stupid while drunk? What the fuck is wrong with you?

Don’t rush into anything, but it’s a great decision. Living alcohol free is a fab way to live. There’s lots of support out there and you’ll be joining an ever increasing group of people who have realised that muck is doing them no good

Oh give over, you don’t even know what she did other than be chucked out some where for some reason.

We all embarrass ourselves sometimes. Some people don’t even need to be drunk first. Like you, right here.

If this is a regular thing, then there is support out there, if this was a one off, bad judgement on your part of pace, food and limits, then please stop beating yourself up.
Either way, food, a clear head and a good night's sleep will help you decide tomo x

@L108763 You are doing more damage to yourself by worrying about what did/didn’t happen.
So you made a tit of yourself, no one is going to remember this in two weeks.
Don’t berate yourself and take it as a sign that you can’t handle your beer. It is definitely not something to end your life over.
Cringe as much as you need but realise that it’s only yourself that is making it worse.
Most of us do stupid things we aren’t proud of but I can guarantee in 10 years time you’ll be laughing when you tell your kids about it.
Much love and stop being so hard on yourself x

No, we have not all done it.

I have. 3 times.
Have we finally found the one person alive who’s more boring than me? 😂

No not everyone has done it, but a lot of us have lived a little. If you haven’t made a twat of yourself once in a blue moon, how can you learn? Especially with drinking, it’s usually going towards 40+ that a lot of people have a bit of a shit experience realising they can’t handle alcohol like they used to. The op is ok to be embarrassing but just because you’re a bit of a bore doesn’t mean it’s not normal or the op can’t find some sympathy.

Did you drink drive home? You said you were sat in your car.

Like others have said you couldn't have been that drunk if you were able to get up and get car. I've been so drunk that the day after is a write off and I can hardly get out of bed to vomit in bathroom. Not saying it is ok and I haven't done that for over a decade. But it doesn't sound like you were that drunk?

She left her car and collected this morning

Have you contacted the group you were put with?

How do you think your post is at all helpful?
Do you enjoy kicking people when they are down?
It's not a good look.

I really hate when people
Go round topping up glasses. It's so hard to know what you have had.

Sending huge hugs to you OP. I’ve been there. It’s horrible. But two things- I promise the anxiety and sick to your stomach fear will gradually dissipate and things will seem so much better tomorrow, the day after etc. And secondly remember we all naturally focus inwardly on ourselves so no one else will be as focused as you and your behaviour last night as you are. They really won’t. It’s natural to feel this way and it’s horrendous but it will get better. I did actually do some pretty terrible stuff when drunk (not illegal or violent or damaging) but even then, time always helps. For me, it was because I was mentally in a bad place and I’ve learned that at those times, I shouldn’t drink. Not saying the same applies to you, just a thought.

Echoing a PP- talk to a friend (even if you’re scared of doing so, I promise you’ll feel better!) and get a takeaway. Be kind to yourself.

OP we've all done it (well not most on MN who drink a thimble of wine and that's too much). Things will be better tomorrow I promise! Get some food and water down you, watch some easy TV and sleep.

Things will look different tomorrow.