New April continuing thread for living an alcohol free life - all welcome

[livingalivelife]

Hello! This is the continuation of a thread started originally by drybird, and subsequently continued by many fabulous and now sober mumsnetters. It's provides huge amounts of non-judgmental support, cameraderie and good humour to anyone venturing on an alcohol free life.

I've been on the thread several times, lapsed and been welcomed back, which I have hugely appreciated. This time I am determined to stay AF and I'm now on day 44. There is so much experience here on offer - how to get through that first sober Friday night, family party, night out, festive celebration, work do etc etc. And also loads of info on great resources to help in the AF journey - podcasts, books, websites, different kinds of support groups and counselling, or going it alone - the emphasis is on whatever works for you.

This is a thread for those who are living alcohol free, and if you're looking to cut down (lucky you if you're one of those people can have one glass of wine and not think - what's the point of that?), there are other great threads elsewhere in the alcohol topic for moderate drinking.

Looking forward to more clearheaded, shamefree mornings and sober adventures ahead ...

Menu now attached (sorry)

It's certaibnly been more difficult in the lovely weather than the cold and grey weeks, @bornonvalentines - we would have people over for a cocktail several times a week and this abstinence thing is feeling much harder.

I am having to give myself a firm talking to.

Well done @bornonvalentines - that was very brave of you. @HappyAsAGrig it is hard. Although I find the long winter evenings more of a challenge than the bright summer ones. Though I struggle in strong heat and drink makes that worse, so perhaps that's why.

@WendyWagon fantastic on the shops, that's brilliant. Have fun at the garden centre! I love a garden centre - though my shopping cart is the Reaper's chariot unto death's waiting room for any unfortunate plant I might choose to buy.

"Wine flight"...?!? 🙄 May the yellow cup of oxygen descend from above my seat if I ever board that airline, hehe 😉

Not sure how best to advise on what to say to keep not drinking on sunny socials. A good firm, internal "no", with no debate is what works for me. Or "Wee in a glass. It's wee, in a glass." can be similarly effective.

Be proud of your choice and remember that you owe no-one an explanation - "I'm not drinking this afternoon, thanks." Pretend you are in a new Attenborough epic documentary and commentate in your mind on what you find: "@bornonvalentines watches, as the alpha males of this group have replaced their inhibitions and decorum with wine. Let's see how they interact..."... "also available on BBCiPlayer - 'Doused-in-their-own-p+ss' - a behind-the-scenes look at some of the extraordinary footage our cameras captured in the making of this documentary. A handy wallchart is available from the Open University."

Although, that might just be me. 😉 I appreciate (and am very glad) that we all think differently. Stay strong. I promise you'll be glad you did. xx

@REP22 - you DO make me laugh. I shall be lurking like an observing gazelle. Or wallowing hippo 

@HappyAsAGrig thank you too x

Aw, thank you, that's kind of you. ❤You are definitely an elegant gazelle. It's me who hangs out with the World Wildlife Weight Watchers at the hippo pond 😉

Whereas the dog could easily pass for Pumbaa off The Lion King. 🐗

I love your turn of phrase, @REP22 - and thank you.

I think I need a break and something to look forward to. My nights out used to be that (until they weren't).

Husband has been sent out to get some Nosecco-type bottle - I haven't tried that yet so I'm going to give that a go.

and book a holiday. That will give me something to aim for.

Day 56 today, I think.

@EastCoastDamsel thinking of you.

@bornonvalentines superb job of avoiding the wine flights.

How did you find it?

Husband has been sent out to get some Nosecco-type bottle - I haven't tried that yet so I'm going to give that a go.

I’m only just finding it ok, @NextPhaseOfLife - once I learnt to think about it like instant coffee.

Instant coffee is a totally different drink to coffee from beans. Barely a passing resemblance. Both are hot drinks with or without sugar and milk, consumed in a mug, but very different flavours.

Foam banana sweets and actual bananas are another example - we’ve agreed to pretend these things taste similar but they don’t. And it’s ok to like all of them while recognising they aren’t the same.

Nosecco is like that. A chilled and sparkling grape-based beverage that’s much better if you’re not trying to think it into being actual sparkling wine.

@NextPhaseOfLife God, it was hard. I'm on Day 21 and it was my first meal out. They did me an AF gin fizz and I grinned and bore it.

In other news, I've eaten 3 slices of Colin the Caterpillar.

That’s interesting about the Transferrin, @REP22 . My iron levels are all over the place - I’m getting another test in a couple of weeks, and Transferrin was mentioned last time. I can’t remember if it is high, low or normal though. Would the doctor have been checking whether I was drinking, do you think?

It’s when I see him to discuss my blood tests that I plan to ask about getting my records changed, but when I had the last lot done I hadn’t had the fibroscan, so he’d have had no reason to suspect relapse, unless he thought it might be responsible for iron deficiency.

Thanks @REP22 and @NextPhaseOfLife . Definitely never really processed it. He massively changed and I went from I could do no wrong to I could do no right. I was naive and had no idea what was going on. Found out later that of course a female friend of ours was constantly whispering in his ear. They now live together

Anyway in better news walked 13 miles yesterday then pub meal. Had a pint of orange juice and lemonade and a pint of soda water and lime

Morning all..@Anotherdaydone what a tw*t! Sorry to hear you are having distressing dreams about him. They do say we process things in our sleep. I wonder if we have to process the backlog of all the things we have repressed with booze now we are sober.

(If so I am in for a pretty bumpy sleep journey)

And well done for the 13 mile walk! Great day for it yesterday.

@REP22 thanks you for the recommendation about Catherine greys next book. I think I'm ready for another book actually especially if it'll get me ready for a sober festival!

@Anotherdaydone well done on that amazing walk!

I hated the vivid dreams initially, thank goodness they've gone. I feel so tired today. Not booze related, too much work I think. Day 110 x

Morning all.

Another Friday done. I was upstairs by 8pm.
Defiantly getting better. I tidied up a bit in my bedroom. I'm going to sort some too big clothes today.
Husband at work but both adult DC home. DD having some issues with her new uni and she's feeling rubbish. Lack of joined up communication.
I'm the only one who doesn't suffer with hay fever so they are all snuffling.

Morning all,

Happy Saturday to us!

Sorry that DD is having a rough time, @WendyWagon - it's really tough when one of your kids is unhappy 😢

@Amdone123 - long time ago now, but I had awful dreams about my ex after we'd split.. so full of what seemed like real emotion, I think I now recognise it as grief.

I tried the Nosecco - you were 100% right @HappyAsAGrig - it was pleasant as a drink, but not as a dupe.

Think I will stick to my AF lagers in future. I really like them.

@REP22 - your dog is beautiful!

@Womanshour - day 110 - wow! That's fantastic.

I'm just looking at beach holidays for August. I have to say, the thought of 'maybe I just drink on holiday' crossed through my mind.

I need to kick myself up the backside I think.

@NextPhaseOfLife it's a whole lifetime to rethinking we have to do isn't it! I found last night hard and the stupid reason was becuase I felt crap so adding in alcohol is just such a shit answer. I didn't drink and of course pleased I didn't.

It is a loss of the person we were though. I have to listen to the tiredness rather than adding the wine fuel which I find hard tbh, as it makes me feel boring. But I think it sums up a lot of reasons I drunk ignoring what I needed to keep on going to make everyone else happy. (Which of course drunk me wasn't always great... especially for my kids....)

That's a really good point, @Womanshour

I have 35 years of drinking habit and culture to redress.

And yes, I'm definitely only thinking of the 'good' aspects - the first one or two drinks, not the bottle+ and the next day(s).

Thank you.

I'll focus on the fact that today I'm going to a garden party, I'm driving, can arrive and leave when I want, and experience the afternoon through clear eyes.

Enjoy the garden party, @NextPhaseOfLife !

Sympathies to all your allergy sufferers, @WendyWagon.

@Womanshour , I’ve found the last two days so hard because we always have cocktails across this time of year, celebrating the light night in the garden until late. Changing our default responses takes so much time and energy! I hope it’s easier for you today.

I’m on either Day 130 or Day 70, depending on your count of choice. I quit on February 13th, and I had a planned evening with alcohol on April 13th, although a fraction of my previous consumption. So 130 or 70 whether it’s from changing my life or an AA “x-many days since my last drink” tally.

Last night was my first alcohol free BBQ, and it was better than anticipated. After half an hour of wishing I had a nice drink, I was perfectly happy. I just have to push through that first bit.

Wishing everyone a good weekend!

@WendyWagon the pollen is unreal at the moment! So many people seem to be suffering.

Enjoy the garden party @NextPhaseOfLife. Sounds like a good plan to drive and totally agree that the bonus is knowing you can leave and arrive whenever you want!

I'm going out for dinner this evening with my dsis, who isn't much of a drinker. Planning some mocktails before or after 💪

Good evening ladies. It's turned out to be a lovely day here after a wet start to DDs sports day at school.

I volunteered to help in the refreshment tent, something I have not done for years, and despite there being a major cock-up leaving me to deal with a queue of about a 100 desperate-for-caffeine parents while waiting for a massive urn to heat up. I had a ball. (Also helped that the PTA head honcho only allocated us slots of 30min each)

Celebrated the day's events with a lovely lunch at our local vegan cafe (I am very much a meat eater but this place is excellent) and ice-cream, a rest on the Shakti Mat and some light gardening.

Now sitting out in the sun while DH finishes off the BBQ reading and admiring the better behaved of the 2 hounds.

Said hound

And the bonkers one.

Evening all! Just checking in…
It’s day 51 for me and I am still struggling with sleep and fatigue. Like, really tired. Was almost tearful at lunchtime as had a commitment this afternoon that I couldn’t avoid and all I wanted to do was go home and sleep. Is this normal? Was chatting to the lovely woman who does my reflexology this morning and she suggested it might be perimenopause symptoms. Seriously thinking about going to GP and getting some basic blood tests done. Will also follow up on the stuff around transferrin and PAWS.
Anyhow… got through the afternoon and am now on the sofa with a Peroni 0%. Trying to hold out to 9.30 then I am going to crawl into bed.