New April continuing thread for living an alcohol free life - all welcome

[livingalivelife]

Hello! This is the continuation of a thread started originally by drybird, and subsequently continued by many fabulous and now sober mumsnetters. It's provides huge amounts of non-judgmental support, cameraderie and good humour to anyone venturing on an alcohol free life.

I've been on the thread several times, lapsed and been welcomed back, which I have hugely appreciated. This time I am determined to stay AF and I'm now on day 44. There is so much experience here on offer - how to get through that first sober Friday night, family party, night out, festive celebration, work do etc etc. And also loads of info on great resources to help in the AF journey - podcasts, books, websites, different kinds of support groups and counselling, or going it alone - the emphasis is on whatever works for you.

This is a thread for those who are living alcohol free, and if you're looking to cut down (lucky you if you're one of those people can have one glass of wine and not think - what's the point of that?), there are other great threads elsewhere in the alcohol topic for moderate drinking.

Looking forward to more clearheaded, shamefree mornings and sober adventures ahead ...

Morning all.
welcome @CelieandNettie and @MummaBanana
Well done to everyone surviving sunny weekends without alcohol. The more you break that association, the easier it becomes.

I think when you realise you were looking to escape @EastCoastDamsel it’s a real lightbulb moment. When I stopped drinking, I did Dry January, then decided to “see how it goes” - with predictable results. But I realised that the times I drank were when I was tired, or stressed, or angry. It wasn’t really about “fun” at all. And I think that was the game changer for me.

Morning thank you for the lovely welcome. Am watching getting sober stuff online - one woman talks of the "mental gymnastics" of the constant thoughts of should I shouldn't I have a drink ? This really resonated with me - it's was so tiring using mental space every day . Does anyone else get that ?

oh absolutely- that constant background noise! I think that’s why I realised moderation was never going to be for me - it just took up too much headspace

Welcome @MummaBanana and @CelieandNettie

Yes, I know I cannot moderate. The thing is I don't want one drink. I almost can't believe that anyone does - that is my relationship with alcohol. I cannot believe that anyone on the planet enjoys a single drink and no more 😂. Not for me. All or nothing!

I had a weird dream last night where I drank beer. I don't even like beer (except AF). That's the first drinking dream I've had so far since quitting. Day 45 for me today 🎉

Me three! For me the first has always (or it seems like always) just been that, the first. I can't really understand how anyone only wants one.

There were plenty of times I only had a single glass with dinner/Sunday lunch for various reasons but it wasn't like I felt I had had sufficient.

My TT family member made an excellent point last week.

"If you don't have the first, you never have to worry about the rest!" Wise woman.

Morning all.
Welcome newbies.
I'm an old timer (two years five months) I stay on the thread to keep me on the straight and narrow.
I can't moderate successfully. One drink and it's booze bingo! I have to have all the numbers. I tried at 100 days and came back with my tail between my legs hence the name.
Ask away re any questions, there's a wealth of experience here.

Thank you everyone - this thread is becoming a daily check in for me.

Off to London today - DH is meeting the consultant for his heart surgery - hoping we get a date. Usually we'd have looked for the first pub as we get out of the hospital but today we are enjoying cold Ribena instead !

Morning all. Weekend survived and no dreams. Yay.
heat building here. Off this week
lots of tasks todo………

Morning all. So good to hear about everyone's victories over the weekend. Sorry for the struggles. Gorgeous dogs @EastCoastDamsel .

@WendyWagon sorry about your DD - I really hope there are better times to come. xx

@CelieandNettie I get what you mean about the mental gymnastics. I could debate with myself ad infinitum - just a firm "NO" with no room for debate works best for me.

Our team won the cricket at the weekend. The dog was overjoyed.

Strength and love to all. xx

welcome @MummaBanana and well done on day 1 and joining us. perhaps day 1 is easier when you're poorly (and sorry about the covid - i had it last week too) - a good time to reset?

@EastCoastDamsel i'm glad you're finding the thread helpful and well done on a family event - that is quite an achievement.

@Womanshour agree this sunny weekend was a challenge but there is such a pleasure in being sober.

@NextPhaseOfLife i don't think it counts as a lapse either - a few drops.
hello @HappyAsAGrig - i'll check out the AF rum option.

i know i've fretted about this before - are we coming up to the 1000 message mark?

oh gosh - i didn't see the last page of messages and shout out to everyone who has posted today! great that the thread is so busy and popular!

but just to say that i am another can't moderate person. what's the point in one glass of wine? i wish it weren't so, but it is, so AF it is for me.

Evening all. I'm happy to do the next thread unless anyone else wants to. Wfh so I have time. I don't think I've done it for a year?
Feeling much better today. Just had a great veggie quiche from waitrose.
Beetroot and mascarpone ideal for meat free Monday. Raspberry sobert next.

hello ladies hope everyone is ok and resisting the cold booze in the sun temptress. i am day 58 today and could not have done it without you lot, so welcome too you brilliant newbies for making the effort and commitment to sobriety. you've come to the right place.

i'll be back later for some reading and responding to our trials, tribulations and victories.

we can do hard things!

Exactly and don't get me started on a small glass of wine - to me there is no point. This is the problem and why I cannot drink again.

@ponzusoup well done on 58 days 🎉!

It is so fecking hot isn't it 🥵? I'm very much on the fizzy water today. Dh is doing the groceries now and dcs ate earlier, so I'm having one of those weird, cobbled together dinners. I don't even want to discuss what it is 🤣 tuna mayo and rice. So unsatisfying 😒. Need to meal plan better really, but it's too hot to cook anything really anyway

That would be great @WendyWagon

Would hate to lose this group 🙏🏻🙏🏻

Morning all.
Up earlier and out to breakfast this morning with BFF.
She is moving in with her new boyfriend shortly who is a heavy drinker.
I will have to decline the boozy parties. The BFF is also back to drinking more and frequently cancelling dates in the diary due to hangovers. It's shocked me tbh but she's an intense person when she's in a personal relationship.

I got a lovely invitation to a wedding at the end of the year. I've been hat stalking. Very exciting. A bit like four weddings. Country, posh.
I'm off to get ready for the scoff. Have a good day my friends.

@WendyWagon thank you for the offer of thread-hosting ❤we would be all at sea in choppy waters without you and @livingalivelife ❤ I am sorry to hear about your friend; that must be very upsetting. It's so awful to see friends and loved ones hurtling down the speedway to chaos, with absolutely nothing we can do about it. Impotent despair, often coupled with anger and resentment at our attempts to offer wise counsel. I hope there are better times ahead for them.

We may need pictures of the hat. I have bought the dog a hat - I am approaching a milestone target at Slimming World; he will be wearing the hat to celebrate when it is passed. He has seen it and expressed his distaste. It is not this hat. This one was deemed acceptable. He thinks he won't have to wear the new hat. He thinks he's hidden it behind the TV table. 😏

Brilliant on day 58 @ponzusoup , that's fantastic.

And @BigFatSoberLife yes - FAR too hot for me. I don't like it at all. Off to hospital now. Please god to no more antibiotics. And there's no aroma like the heady scent of the Park'n'Ride bus to the hospital on an intensely sunny day. 🌺

Strength and love to all. xx

Hope it all goes well at the hospital and on the (hopefully not too stinky) commute @REP22

Sorry about your friend @wendywagon. I'm sure that's a bit of a worry for you.

Quick check in / day count - 46 days today 🎉

Thank you @BigFatSoberLife , fantastic on the 46 days, that's brilliant. 🙂 The lord has indeed answered my prayers - another five weeks of antibiotics. 🤬 On the plus side, my blood tests were normal, so I'll be happy with that.

Alas - I was just busted by the SW leader coming out of the chemists with a large caramel frappuccino in my paws. The dog's head may remain unmolested by his new hat tonight... x

@REP22 you are funny.

I have a silk duster coat I bought from max mara a couple of months ago.
I like it but the main colour is lilac. I keep thinking of ladies in lavender and I'm not that old!
My late mother and her cousin (mum was an only child of an elderly couple) were evil about clothes. The cousin was a Lucy Clayton model, mum a beauty with a sharp tongue. You certainly knew if your choice of outfit was below par.

Ah, thank you @WendyWagon you are very kind. I think the Ladies in Lavender were quite feisty really. I hope I look as good as them if I'm spared until that age (with or without a mysterious young man immobile in my spare room😈).

Lavender silk dust coat - ✅yes, lovely.
Lavender bath cubes as gift - ❌no, very much thank you. Now begone before those cubes can only be removed from you by surgical intervention.

You will look absolutely beautiful whatever you decide to wear. x

Evening all.
Just checking in D24 here.

Feeling fat and bloated today but guess I am due a period which might explain it.

Went for a run (walk run) after work this evening. It's very hot suddenly. Not much else to report really.

Have a good evening.

Good evening @EastCoastDamsel , brilliant on day 24 🏆

Not good at.SW tonight. The dog will not be wearing his new hat. He is pretending to be sorry for me but cannot suppress his triumphant grin. Never mind. I didn't press the "f>>>-it button" and have bypassed the Cavern of Temptation (Tesco Express).

A restful night and gentle dreams to you, my friends 🧡 x

Evening all. Just checking in. Very peaceful evening after a very hot and sticky two days working away from home. Had a picky bits supper with a peroni 0% and just til I g into some mango with yoghurt which is delicious.
Two months ago I would have been a bottle down by now and debating opening the second. Instead I’m on day 56 and really feeling quite content.
Onwards!