New April continuing thread for living an alcohol free life - all welcome

[livingalivelife]

Hello! This is the continuation of a thread started originally by drybird, and subsequently continued by many fabulous and now sober mumsnetters. It's provides huge amounts of non-judgmental support, cameraderie and good humour to anyone venturing on an alcohol free life.

I've been on the thread several times, lapsed and been welcomed back, which I have hugely appreciated. This time I am determined to stay AF and I'm now on day 44. There is so much experience here on offer - how to get through that first sober Friday night, family party, night out, festive celebration, work do etc etc. And also loads of info on great resources to help in the AF journey - podcasts, books, websites, different kinds of support groups and counselling, or going it alone - the emphasis is on whatever works for you.

This is a thread for those who are living alcohol free, and if you're looking to cut down (lucky you if you're one of those people can have one glass of wine and not think - what's the point of that?), there are other great threads elsewhere in the alcohol topic for moderate drinking.

Looking forward to more clearheaded, shamefree mornings and sober adventures ahead ...

I think it's important to remember that long-term withdrawal means that your body is re-learning all sorts of things that have been messed about with by alcohol for years. It takes time to go back to normal if you have been a long-term drinker. It is also the case that other ailments are available, though 😀.

My sleeping took years to right itself, and I still have bouts of insomnia. Since giving up drinking years ago I have developed anaemia and thyroid problems. Maybe these happened because systems were weakened by alcohol, but maybe they would have happened anyway.

It's worth speaking to your GP about perimenopause and other possible reasons for your tiredness. If there are no answers and you haven't already had LFTs or scans you could ask for them now, and your records wouldn't show that you are currently drinking.

Thanks @ShyMaryEllen - that is really reassuring! I’ll see if I can get an appointment with my GP. I think I’ll also try to take the advice I’ve seen elsewhere on this thread to be kind to myself at the moment. It’s possible I’m expecting too much of myself . Ironically I’ve not really had much in the way of cravings etc. so far. Possibly I’ve been too tired to notice 😀

You should be kind to yourself. What you're going through is not a small thing.

You are being very kind to yourself by not drinking, but it does no harm to pamper yourself now and then with some of the money you're saving, too. Can you get away for a few days to somewhere relaxing, or just take a couple of days off and stay in your PJs with Netflix or a good book?

@SeasideRock I'm only on 21 days. But if it of any consolation, I am having afternoon naps/Shakti every day currently and going to bed by 9:30/10pm every night.

You all speak a lot of sense. In bd with a cup of tea

Tell me more about Shakti mats please @EastCoastDamsel ? I know what they are, but haven’t seen one other than online. Do they hurt?

I love mine. I know they aren't for everyone and the evidence for them are super shaky but I find it a really quick way to relax and turn off. Usually will fall asleep on mine.

I think the initial discomfort that you sort of needs to breathe through is basically a way of forcing a meditative state as your mind is focused on the here and now.

It does take some getting used to at first but I now regularly do 25mins.

Thanks. I have wondered about them, but am not sure if I’d use one. Maybe I’ll think about it again.

I have a Shakti mat but I'm scared of it! 😂
I went to a BBQ yesterday. We were there from 4pm onwards. Host doesn't drink much but got in a few bottles of fizz. Told her partner "Ten will be on the wine for sure" but I turned up armed with a selection of AF treats. Last time I went to a party with the same group was black in Dec and I wasn't drinking then either but I think they figured I wouldn't stick with it.
Anyway EVERYONE was enjoying my AF goodies. 😁. Sure most of them were also drinking booze too but they all drank less because they all found my drinks fun. I actually think that's the secret for me. It has to be FUN and have a bit of variety. I could t just drink pints of orange squash while everyone else is drinking champagne. But I went to Marks and Spencer and literally bought a selection, exactly like I would have done in the past. It just didn't have alcohol. And this morning I'm feeling so pleased. My DH even said to me on the drive home (I drove!) he wished he'd just stuck to the AF himself and not bothered with actual beer at all.
You know what I found really REALLY horrible too was the smell of alcohol on people after they'd had a couple. Didn't really notice that in the old days, except maybe the next morning.
Anyway happy sunny Sunday everyone. I'm off to the gym in a bit 😊

Your dogs are beautiful @EastCoastDamsel!

@SeasideRock I hope you got a good night's sleep. I am day 44 so similar but a bit behind you. I'm not super tired, but I also don't do all that much except work (part time) and look after dcs who are 6 and 9 so not babies who need round the clock care. I need 8 hours sleep a night though or I'm no good the next day and fall asleep on the sofa 😂

I went out for dinner last night and we ordered mocktails which were so dissapointing 😒. Zero effort, just a mix of fruit juice really. At least they had something on the menu, but I actually expected more which is a sign of the times I think! Gone are the days of a coke or oj as the only af options.

Should have gone to a party with @Itsrainingten instead with all her af options!

Off to Google shakti mats now. I'd never even heard of them till reading this thread.

Hope everyone is well. It's meant to be really hot here today and I am very glad I am not hungover 😎

Hello all and welcome to the newbies,
I got through the family dinner- drank fizzy water. Then another event last night, which was even more challenging in a way. in the past that's often done for me - get through one thing and then letting my guard down.

Great to see so many newbies and the busy thread.

Well done on 110 days @Womanshour - a sober festival sounds brilliant. And @bornonvalentines at getting through that meal! These nicer days don't make it easier I agree.

Enjoy the sober sunshine all.

Thanks all! I did get a decent nights sleep.
Am going to have a very lazy day today in the garden and on the sofa as suggested by @ShyMaryEllen … busy week coming up. And am going to investigate Sgakti mats, am intrigued

Morning all.
I slept really badly last night. The DD is becoming really unwell (SEMH) and I am trying to help. This is dangerous for me because I take it all on my shoulders. My coping mechanism was booze when she was ill before and I am worried all round.
I started the week really happy and it's turned to crap. Ho hum.

So sorry to hear about your DD @WendyWagon. Good that you can recognise a trigger though!

Do you have any support structures in place for her from her previous illness?

Lots of unmumsnetty hugs.

@Itsrainingten what was in your box of goodies? Looking for recommendations

Hi can I join please ?
I'm AF 8 weeks tomorrow . Gave up for 2 reasons , DH is about to have heart surgery so he stopped and I'm supporting him.
But I think the real reason I've stopped is because I'm curious what a sober life looks and feels like.

Welcome @CelieandNettie and congratulations on 8 weeks. How has your experience been so far?

I'm sorry to hear about your daughter @WendyWagon - it's hard to take the right amount of responsibility. X

Hi , the sleep has been amazing and I'd be loathed to ever give that up ! Been getting HUGE sugar cravings though - atm I'm eating a bag of marshmallows a day !

@WendyWagon sorry to hear about your daughter. I hope she gets better soon.
@EastCoastDamsel we had a bottle of orange "gin" very similar to the Sevilla tanqueray but M and S own brand. A bottle of passion star cocktail - bit like a pornstar but AF, a bottle of AF sparkling wine - can't remember the brand but quite nice with the orange stuff - made it similar to an aperol spritz and a bottle of spiced "rum" which we had with blended strawberries and ice to make daiquiris. It was really really nice 🙂

I hope your daughter gets better soon, @WendyWagon . I found spiced AF ‘rum’ to be good in mocktails, @Itsrainingten because the spices are the same with or without booze. Worth adding to your repertoire?

Welcome to the thread, @CelieandNettie . The sugar cravings are a big thing, aren’t they? I’m eating a choc ice as I type.

Great work on getting through the family party without booze, @livingalivelife ! That’s sterling work.

Sorry to hear about your daughter, @WendyWagon

I just googled SEMH as I hadn't heard that acronym before. I hope you find some support. So difficult 💕

@Itsrainingten - your AF options sound brilliant.

I had a freak out last night as I put some Angostura bitters in my Nosecco - was delighted with how like Aperol spritz it tastes, and was convinced I was a genius, until DH told me Angostora bitters is ALCOHOLIC.... noooooooooo

No wonder it tasted good 😡😡😡😡😡

Not going to count it as a blip as was only a few drops. Will try and find an AF version of bitters I think.

Another weekend survived! Hope everyone is OK. The sun has definitely added another challenge in there... but although I had moments I've wanted to drink I also don't miss it if that makes sense.

Hello All,

Can I join. Day 1 here urgh. Also day 4 of Covid. It’s all happening, mostly just exhausted.

😀

Morning All

Day 23! I found yesterday tough. Not because I had a strong desire to drink but because the whole situation was so stressful and I realised why I always wanted to drink (to get rid of the stress! )

We were at ILs house with all the sins and cousins and it was just chaos. Especially as people were getting more and more "tipsy" luckily I had a "partner in crime" and another member of the famous TT and we're plenty of nice of AF drinks (not AF booze as such but tonics/fever tree sodas etc)

@NextPhaseOfLife I personally wouldn't worry about a few drops of Angostura Bitters. It's 11% so a handful of drops will not make any perceptable difference to the Alcohol content of a full glass of anything.

Welcome @MummaBanana . I love the women in this thread. Have only been here for a couple of weeks and they have been an invaluable support on my journey .