New April continuing thread for living an alcohol free life - all welcome

[livingalivelife]

Hello! This is the continuation of a thread started originally by drybird, and subsequently continued by many fabulous and now sober mumsnetters. It's provides huge amounts of non-judgmental support, cameraderie and good humour to anyone venturing on an alcohol free life.

I've been on the thread several times, lapsed and been welcomed back, which I have hugely appreciated. This time I am determined to stay AF and I'm now on day 44. There is so much experience here on offer - how to get through that first sober Friday night, family party, night out, festive celebration, work do etc etc. And also loads of info on great resources to help in the AF journey - podcasts, books, websites, different kinds of support groups and counselling, or going it alone - the emphasis is on whatever works for you.

This is a thread for those who are living alcohol free, and if you're looking to cut down (lucky you if you're one of those people can have one glass of wine and not think - what's the point of that?), there are other great threads elsewhere in the alcohol topic for moderate drinking.

Looking forward to more clearheaded, shamefree mornings and sober adventures ahead ...

Afternoon all!

Thank you @NextPhaseOfLife! Seven weeks today 🎉

Well done on the awards ceremony. That is exciting you didn't miss the drink at all!

@womanshour it's fine for people to be angry at the system, but when you have to face angry people it is really stressful even if you know their anger isn't directed at you.

@ponzusoup sorry to hear about your mum. Sounds incredibly tough. You are so right about it being better facing these things sober though. I always thought alcohol helped but actually think it was the opposite

@eastcoastdamsel, hope you get some rest on your morning off. I am unexpectedly off this afternoon! Not for an entirely pleasant reason, but still, I will take it 😁

Happy Friday ☕ 🍕

Hello all, waves and wags from me and the dog.

@ponzusoup - I am with you on the parental issue. My own is a massive, massive trigger. It's so hard. It's not fair that we had such mediocre parents. But it's also not our fault. You're a lovely person, despite your mother. She doesn't deserve your continued attention. With you in spirit on your visit and hope it isn't too grim. Here's a picture of the dog especially for you - he's concentrating on sending you all the good vibes and strength to arm you for tomorrow. He has also offered to send some of his leavings for concealment in her house; but that would not be wise. A single prawn, concealed in the curtain lining, is all that's needed. It will not be found - but it will make its presence abundantly and infuriatingly clear after a few days. Sweet.

Love and strength to you all. Keep going - it will be alright. x

@REP22 thank you! i shall be taking inspiration and resilience from that wonderful doggie pic through my tricky visit. thanks for your thoughts and kindness - helps a lot to know i'm not the only one. and god knows how both of us ended up being empathetic and kind with such an upbringing. nature w

sent to soon! nature wins over nurture?

@ponzusoup 🙂Nature, definitely. Sadly the only thing I can change with regard to my own situation is how I react to it. Neither easy nor pleasant, but I like who I am, even if she doesn't. We're alright people, despite - not because of - our parents. 💐x

@WendyWagon you are spot on re work and very similar issuss to me. Xx

Evening lads.
I will watch the posts over the weekend and link the new thread. We have space for tomorrow I think.
Have a good evening.

Good evening everyone.
I've been quiet because I'm more of a watcher than a contributor but I have found your posts about the good, bad and ugly going on in your lives interesting and helpful. Thank you all for sharing your experiences.
It's day 44 today. Thanks to you lot, I've tried a few drinks and am currently enjoying Guinness and Peroni in their alcohol free forms. Kamboucha and CBD drinks were ok but not a big hit. I sleep so much better and wake hangover free and ready to enjoy the day. I'm still running (10K race on Sunday) and have knocked over 2 minutes off my 5k time. Most of all, my anxiety has reduced considerably and I feel pretty chill most of the time. Oh and my resting heart rate and blood pressure are down. Finally, I have lost 6lbs. I initially posted about weight loss and was placing too much emphasis on that. Some gentle replies put me straight and led me to looking at the wider picture. Thank you all.

Evening all,

I am tired tonight, have a busy weekend ahead. Need to pack and mentally prepare myself tomorrow for a very quick jaunt home to fetch my mum. 2 long haul flights in 3 days. When I booked them months ago using points, I went for business class and at the time was looking forward to all the complimentary booze! Bet the AF free options on BA are dire.

Flying out on Monday and retiring to Heathrow on Thurs morning. My mum has lost a lot of confidence in recent months and doesn't want to fly on her own.

Then as soon as we are back, we're off on our summer holidays. I don't really feel fully ready.

@GrannyOfDragons well done on the 5k time improvement and good luck on your 10k race.

I've noticed my BP has improved a lot too and RH went right down after a few days AF. Not quite where it was at my fittest but not embarrassingly high.

Morning all.
Glad to hear you’re feeling the benefits @GrannyOfDragons

Good luck with the travel @EastCoastDamsel . This is just another of these firsts - I very clearly remember my first time flying on business sober! What do I do in an airport if I don’t drink?! I did find a bar that sold eye wateringly expensive af gin, and did a LOT of shopping.

The good news is after the initial shock of saying “I’ll have the orange juice please” you will probably find the flight much easier sober - you won’t get that horrid scratchy dehydrated feeling.

Morning all

granny, I had a separate thread about weight loss and alcohol too. Soon decided against any proper dieting while also trying to quit alcohol, as I know alcohol is the more pertinent issue. I am going to wait for a bit longer and then will do some sort of weight loss attempt. I'm sure some will come off naturally with the lack of calories from alcohol!

eastcoastdamsel, good luck with the travel! Wise words from onewildandpreciouslife

rep22, your dog is so cute. I would very much like to pat his head and give him a cuddle.

In other news, I can't seem to tag people atm - it's annoying!

Day 50 for me which feels like a mini milestone, but every day is a win really 🎉

Morning all.

@GrannyOfDragons well done on 44 days and 6ibs off. I am steady at about four pound a month. I was disappointed at first but at 58 I don't have the baggy skin some get. My neck isn't great but my face is fine. It's frozen in time from all the slap anyway!

I am just sending back two dresses that are too big. Such a long time since I've done that.

I heard from a friend yesterday about a potential vacancy at one of my previous companies. I had to take redundancy due to a fight between a returning new mum and the chairman. I got caught in the crossfire. I loved that job. The tricky miss is leaving, so who knows they might call me. However it was in my drinking days so their thoughts around me might be challenging! Twas the scene of my crime against Spankz.
Have a good day all.

Morning all! Having a very peaceful morning with no hangover… after a busy week at work. @Womanshour I feel your pain around people being very angry about the system you work for , it’s very similar in my sector. Come the revolution etc.
Still bumbling along - closing in on day 60. I think I might have tiny bit more energy (I’ve been SO tired) and might have lost a tiny bit of weight. We’ll see. Still enjoying AF beer and tanqueray orange. Am having a go at making some black currant shrub with some frozen black currants from last summer. I’ll report back.
I did have a lovely evening yesterday tho’. I went to a local Turkish baths with a friend. Two hours a steaming, dipping and chatting away - it was SO relaxing. And I got up this morning feel good!
I hope you all have a lovely weekend.

Oooo Turkish baths sound lovely seaside! What a nice Friday night activity

Oof tough day today. On a city break for a couple of nights before heading to a beach resort, and it was hard. Don’t know why today hit so hard, and felt so sad. Anyway, I’m telling myself it’s ok to mourn the “nice” drinks. Onwards!

@Onewildandpreciouslife well done for sticking with it. It's flipping hard sometimes isn't it.

I am with you tonight. Not the nice drinks, I wanted the off switch drinks. Stuck with no booze but tough one.

Hope everyone has peaceful weekends x

tough one here too ladies. thought would be easier sober with my miserable naggy old mum but boy do i feel sad and vulnerable to her criticism and nastiness and just her general disinterest in my life, progress and values. she's ignoring that i'm
not drinking - cannot bear to recognise or acknowledge anything i may be doing well. still, im
sober and proud of myself. even tho i feel my shield of booze that protected me from her is gone.

strength and respect to everyone struggling tonight. we will feel proud and clear brained in the morning. these things shall pass.

Well done @ponzusoup that sounds very tough. I hope you feel proud to have got through x

💜

Morning All

Sorry to hear about the difficult days yesterday @Onewildandpreciouslife and @ponzusoup . I still have to take holiday and family 😬.

My reframe lesson today was about cravings and how they sneak up on you slowly and quietly sometimes.

It is quite a lot easier to manage them when you have control of your environment. I am worried about next week as I know I will be in love ts of situations where I would normally have a drink AND in environments where I don't have access to my usual displacement activities (running, bath, nice "grown-up" AF options.

@EastCoastDamsel totally agree about cravings coming from nowhere and also the extra vulnerability of not having our safety toolbox around us in different environments. it's definitely harder work and i find myself really digging deep into my specific motivations to be sober , sometimes moment by moment, in real detail. plus i think my natural defiance kicks in a bit. ie this will not beat me! good luck. sending strength to you.

I've created the new thread could soneone link please

Here you go - see you there!

Eh?

Thank you @Onewildandpreciouslife

We are on to the next chapter lads.