New April continuing thread for living an alcohol free life - all welcome

[livingalivelife]

Hello! This is the continuation of a thread started originally by drybird, and subsequently continued by many fabulous and now sober mumsnetters. It's provides huge amounts of non-judgmental support, cameraderie and good humour to anyone venturing on an alcohol free life.

I've been on the thread several times, lapsed and been welcomed back, which I have hugely appreciated. This time I am determined to stay AF and I'm now on day 44. There is so much experience here on offer - how to get through that first sober Friday night, family party, night out, festive celebration, work do etc etc. And also loads of info on great resources to help in the AF journey - podcasts, books, websites, different kinds of support groups and counselling, or going it alone - the emphasis is on whatever works for you.

This is a thread for those who are living alcohol free, and if you're looking to cut down (lucky you if you're one of those people can have one glass of wine and not think - what's the point of that?), there are other great threads elsewhere in the alcohol topic for moderate drinking.

Looking forward to more clearheaded, shamefree mornings and sober adventures ahead ...

Morning lads.
Up earliest in months.
I have had one tea already.
A old friend visiting this morning. She's an ex nurse so she won't be trying to hug me or anything daft.

Welcome to the newbies. Ask away re sleep, books, podcasts. We've all used them for support.
My boys like the Smashed lager and Guinness zero. I don't like beer so stick to AF gin, seedlip etc. But my favourite is milk. Blue top.

@Leelaseye well done. You are half way through a year. If you had a wagon fall it's highly likely you wouldn't do it again. Your tolerance will be super low and it will taste disgusting. Remember as a teenager how rank booze tasted? It's the same for non drinkers. Well done so far and continue one day at a time.

Have a good day my friends.

Morning all,

I hope you're doing ok there @WendyWagonand have a nice supportive non-hugging chat with your friend.

Welcome @Leelaseye and congratulations on your half year, and getting through those milestones. You are very welcome here.

@ShyMaryEllen a while back you mentioned saying to yourself something like: I feel like I drink, but as I don't drink, what shall I do instead? I remembered that last night at the witching hour - a useful framing. It's still hard for me, at day 45 - that 7pm moment. Fine once it passes.

@NeedANewOne25 day 3 right? that is great that your DH is joining you ( at least last night ...) Undoing the booze-link between me and my DH is maybe the hardest part of this for me - he's not interested in being AF. He drinks too much, but he has a better off switch than I do. I wish he would at least try AF but he's not interested and me banging the drum makes it worse!

Glad you're enjoying Clare Pooley @ponzusoup If I imagine what might skin would look like if I'd never drunk it isn't half depressing but on the positive as you say - we see the benefits in our skin very quickly - imagine how happy our insides are to be AF.

Hello @Womanshour 👋 - we're coming up to day 50!

Wishing everyone a great day.

@livingalivelife I empathise with the DH issue, sadly mine has been such an enabler for me (unwittingly), but I am feeling positive that we can improve together. He has a few health issues which he’s trying to aid with supplements (turmeric etc) but I suspect kicking the booze may really help so it will be good to see.

I am looking forward to looking 10 years younger 😂

@livingalivelife wow 50 days feels unbelievable! When for so long just one day was a challenge!

I am feeling really anxious at the moment. With some surprising wine urges (which I've ignored). I think it is perimenopause related which was hard to unpick until taking wine out of the equation as I was just constantly on the hangxiety drunk cycle previously.

So far chocolate and exercise is working. Hoping it gets a bit easier.

Hope everyone is keeping well. So lovely to see so many new names on here!

Wow @Leelaseye those are amazing milestones. Something to feel very proud of!

@NeedANewOne25 interested in those goodray drinks but wondering if it's just the drug inference and my inner addict! fully appreciate the difference between cbd and thc though and so I do appreciate they won't get me high!

onwards and upwards ladies.

Thanks everyone for the words of encouragement and welcome to the other newbies!

@ShyMaryEllen what a weekend! Can’t imagine Blackpool in December but thankfully we have your investigative journalism 😅I’m off to London so fingers crossed it will be a nice normal time!

@ponzusoup encouraging to hear how much better you’re feeling already! Think it’ll be much easier to keep going once some positive changes start to take effect

I have low level anxiety and thought I’d try them out to kill two birds with one stone (and they were on offer). Even if there is a placebo effect I don’t mind, as if they help me break the wine habit in the short term that’s a step forward. They have more depth of flavour and less sugar than most drinks I’ve tried as a substitute and I like the slightly bitter after taste (and easy to have just one).

Day 7 for me today!!

This time last week I was being sick...

sounds good @NeedANewOne25 just ordered some from amazon. also flirting with ordering kombucha ( get me!!). all cheaper than wine!

@whichdayisit well done that is brilliant. i can clearly remember my day 1 ( only 11 days ago) when i was literally hiding in shame in bed all day having intermittent panic attacks brought on by an earth shattering hangover and vague memories of puking in my actual bed the night before

@ponzusoup be good to see what you think, I preferred the flavours to the Trip ones I’ve tried. DH is poopoo-ing the idea a bit, but that didn’t stop him snaffling both the raspberry ones!

@ponzusoup . If you didn't laugh you'd cry.

But yes the shame of last week spurred me on to cut it all out (though I've definitely been trying, and failing, to moderate for a while!)

The worst of the sleeplessness etc seems to have left me now but that's when the little "why not" voice usually appears but I'm holding fast to how much better it feels to wake up fresh!

@whichdayisit i also sometime get that voice telling me i can have one glass on a friday night but i know from bitter experience that within a few days or weeks that will be 5 6 or 7 glasses and then the spirits will creep back in. if i was ever capable of moderate drinking why, in 55 years, have i never been able to do it?

Thank you for the shiny new thread @livingalivelife !

Hello and welcome to all the new posters here! You're in such a good place for support, encouragement and compassion.

Hip Pop do kombucha with CBD, and it makes a good alternative served in a gin glass with a frozen wedge of lemon or lime. Google it - I would link, but the address links to an ad that appears in the post, and I'm not sure of the rules on advertising.

@ponzusoup thanks for the reminder - my wine witch is well and truely about!

Thanks @WendyWagon - I absolutely do remember how grim booze tasted as a teenager! I think knowing how quickly I picked up the wine habit again like I'd never stopped after my kids were born, I worry that one slip and I'd be straight back on to a bottle a night.

Thank you for this thread @livingalivelife - it will be good to be amongst like minded people to help keep me going now I've made it up the 6 month hill

@Womanshour - I'm with you on the perimenopause related anxiety. I've definitely found my anxiety is generally loads better since giving up the wine.

My big challenge at the moment is curbing my sweet tooth and the substitute alcohol free drinks without feeling like I'm depriving myself of everything that makes me happy!

I've also tried the goodrays cbd drinks and find they do make me feel quite chilled (although nothing like the buzz I get from the first glass of wine). So expensive though! I think I paid £18 for 12 on Amazon, but perhaps I was just rinsed.

Have a nice AF evening all

Thanks for starting new thread @livingalivelife - just book marking- will catch up at weekend. Hope everyone is doing ok and hanging on in there…

Name change fail, I was @threemeandthedog

Hi guys, I am years sober but just seen this thread. Didn’t even realise that mumsnet had AF support 🙈Great to see other sober people. I have done AA for a number of years and it worked. Particularly early days but I really don’t want to do it anymore. Does anyone else do AA?

What I really need is sober connection. I have done a few sober girl society events and I think I’m going to try and set up some sober events in my area. Coffee or something.

what do other people do to connect with others?

Just watched the new film Back to Black about Amy Winehouse. God so sad. And (minus the amazing talent and style!) I could really see parallels with the way my life was going at one point. My mum was an alcoholic who died from booze at 49 and it was like watching her as well. I actually feel a bit overwhelmed.

Morning all.
Lovely busy thread at the moment- 👋 to everyone who’s newly joined.

Glad you found us @Debtfreeme . I know what you mean about sober connection- it’s often very hard being the only sober one in a group, and it happens all the time. I’ve just run a marathon (sorry - I will try not to say that in every post 🤣) and even then a lot of chat on the group chat was about alcohol.

That sounds tough @Itsrainingten . But you are writing your own story now, and you’ve made really positive steps to change that narrative for your life. Hang in there x

@Debtfreeme welcome. i'm a newbie to sobriety ( day 13!) but i've come across this via the associated podcast ( which is brilliant) www.beesoberofficial.com/

sorry i don't know how to link but you can google it! looks like they have loads of sober socials. well done on your long term sobriety.

ooh it worked. bonus!

tried the good rays drinks! lovely flavour ( orange and pomelo). but sent me to sleep! wonder if it interacts with sertraline?

@ShyMaryEllen thanks for the kombucha cbd tip - hope you're doing ok. any tips for a non cbd kombucha?