New April continuing thread for living an alcohol free life - all welcome

[livingalivelife]

Hello! This is the continuation of a thread started originally by drybird, and subsequently continued by many fabulous and now sober mumsnetters. It's provides huge amounts of non-judgmental support, cameraderie and good humour to anyone venturing on an alcohol free life.

I've been on the thread several times, lapsed and been welcomed back, which I have hugely appreciated. This time I am determined to stay AF and I'm now on day 44. There is so much experience here on offer - how to get through that first sober Friday night, family party, night out, festive celebration, work do etc etc. And also loads of info on great resources to help in the AF journey - podcasts, books, websites, different kinds of support groups and counselling, or going it alone - the emphasis is on whatever works for you.

This is a thread for those who are living alcohol free, and if you're looking to cut down (lucky you if you're one of those people can have one glass of wine and not think - what's the point of that?), there are other great threads elsewhere in the alcohol topic for moderate drinking.

Looking forward to more clearheaded, shamefree mornings and sober adventures ahead ...

@Leelaseye six months is amazing. hope i can get up that hill too but looking very steep from here!

Morning all.
Welcome newbies.
I am planning a non working day today.
A bit of a bun fight yesterday again.
I am wondering whether to sell my house and move to a two bed. Give the DS some money for his house and retire.
I obviously don't make a good employee anymore. I've had some great male bosses but these 'mature' men I've encountered over the last few years want to crush and belittle me. As bullied child, I said no no no (get the reference? I too love Amy Winehouse).

I am off out to the Marks. My nose hasn't seen the air in weeks. Walking better so who knows. Dancing next.

Keep going @WendyWagon - it's not your fault that there are so many c*ckwombles out there. x

Greetings to everyone new and old. This is a great place to be. @Leelaseye - is your name a reference to Dr. Who and the episode with the laser and Louise Jameson? I was a nut for Dr. Who in the 1980s /90s, hehe

The dog is due his booster jab tomorrow. He loves the vet but goes not "engage well" with the treatment. So I have to dose him with Gabapentin and Trazodone tonight and first thing in the morning. I fear trouble lies in store. But if a complete meltdown ensues I will put a swift end to the proceedings; I don't think it's fair to traumatise him for a leptospirosis booster - he doesn't chase rodents, interfere with farm animals and isn't into his swimming. I really can't abide people who are blindly anti-vax, but I'm prepared to let this one slide when faced with what it costs him in terms of stress. But maybe it will all be well. Fingers and dewclaws crossed...

Strength and love to all.

@WendyWagon glad you are getting your mobility back and sorry to hear about these idiots at work. i dream about retirement too but financially it's a long way off. hope you enjoy the fresh air.

@REP22 your dog sounds like quite character ! what breed? i have a good obsessed spaniel. good luck with the injection.

just been for a pre work dog walk and really thinking about how to make this sobriety thing long term. trying to actively think about not drinking and how to achieve it instead of grimly holding on to a fixed abstinence period which is what i have done before - and only ever managed a month a la dry jan/ sober october.

Thanks @ponzusoup - I love spaniels! Great fun. Mine is a French Bulldog (mother) crossed with a Staffie (father) - that must've been an interesting evening. I got him 14 months ago from the Blue Cross. He's amazing; I'm so lucky to have him (apart from the time he disappeared into the wilds of North Dartmoor, carrying with him my mobile phone and car keys).

There's just me at home, so having a dog is a big part of what keeps me sober. He deserves better than drunk me.

Much love to you. x

ooh interesting cross there @REP22 that will be the bulldog genes causing the trouble eh? staffies and calm and wonderful in my experience. i'm slightly scared of bulldogs on the other hand.

typo in my post - i meant to say 'food obsessed' about my spaniel. she is glorious but would eat her own face if she could. dogs are such amazing companions.

also laughing at the thought of your dog running off with your phone and keys @REP22 🤣

@ponzusoup hehe, yes, he's a fine-looking fellow. I used to have a wonderful Staffie, amazing dog. He used to play Bullseye in stage productions of "Oliver!" the kids used to dote on him and there was always a queue at the stage door to meet him, hehe x

a dog actor! how wonderful @REP22 i think staffies have almost human personalities. very clever and perceptive dogs.

Yes, that was certainly a memory to treasure. I can laugh about it now... VERY fortunately, the military were doing a training exercise on the moor and some of the officers kindly helped me. The officer’s radio dialogue with his unseen colleagues elsewhere on the moor, when I first approached him, went as follows:

Officer: “I’m sorry chaps, real world situation here. We’ve got a civilian who’s just approached us; she’s lost her dog…”
Radio: “schkkllkk… Real world situation. Lost dog. Description. Over. schkkllkk …”
Officer: “Staffie cross French bulldog. Gunmetal grey. Wearing red harness with black straps, trailing black lead. Over.”
Radio: “schkkllkk …[repeated description]. Over. schkkllkk…”
Officer: “Additionally, the dog was attached to pack. Was green with black straps…”
Radio: “schkkllkk… green with black straps pack. Over. schkkllkk …”
Officer: “No, wait, there’s more. Inside the pack were the civilian’s mobile phone and car key. Over.”
Radio: “schkkllkk … … … schkkllkk … FU++ing h+ll… schkkllkk …”

He wasn’t wrong.

Around £590 that little adventure cost me, in replacement keys, taxi, etc. AND I had to hide an entire chicken curry in my pants.

Here is a picture of the little git. Be not deceived by his wide-eyed innocence; 'tis a carefully-honed ruse.

he is GORGEOUS it also has don't mess with me written all over that face!

laughing at that army story - 🤣😍

Oh I really fancy this film. I loved the Elton and Whitney one ❤️

Oh that looks absolutely perfect. Just feel a bit daft with so long sober and still wanting to be around sober peeps. It just feels so lonely at times. Thank you I’ll have a look.

Have a good day everyone so found I have found a sober tribe ❤️❤️❤️

wine witch is calling early evening day 13. have hurriedly booked a yoga class for 730. hope folk in the early days are feeling strong.

Yes, Hip Pop do that too 😀

That dog is fabulous!

Hi everyone
i hope it’s ok to join. My drinking has gotten out of control - every night and I wake up feeling terrible. I am constantly sick and fatter than I should be.
I just cannot moderate so need to stop. I’ve been sick this week so have started not drinking by default basically. But this is really Day One for me.
it has been my crutch for so long! Is there a good audiobook to begin with?

@Starlia Welcome!

The Allan Carr book giving up alcohol for women is the one I have been listening to and reading, but have only got partway through. Also the Alcohol Experiment (Annie Grace) she has some free resources and an app.
What has flipped in my brain (as well as being motivated to lose weight) is that I need to focus on the positive benefits and breaking my common habits by planning something to do, or a different treat to have as a drink in the evening.
When I feel I’m depriving myself that’s when it all goes wrong.

@ponzusoup well done on yoga! 👏

Morning all.
Welcome @Starlia . I second the Alcohol Experiment book - it maps out a 30 day alcohol free period but also unpicks a lot of our unconscious beliefs about alcohol.

My other two favourites are The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray and The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley.

Do you have a plan for this evening? Friday nights can be challenging, particularly if you’re starting to feel better, and it’s easier to make a plan now rather than wait for the wine witch to start calling this afternoon.

My paperback copy of Push off from Here by Laura McOwen has finally arrived! There isn’t a kindle version. I will report back. It’s based on her “9 things” from The Luckiest Club, which I think are incredibly helpful

“1. It is not your fault. 2. It is your responsibility. 3. It is unfair that this is your thing. 4. This is your thing. 5. This will never stop being your thing until you face it. 6. You cannot do it alone. 7. Only you can do it. 8. I love you. 9. I will never stop reminding you of these things.”

— We Are the Luckiest: The Surprising Magic of a Sober Life by Laura McKowen
https://amzn.eu/60qRXiS

Good morning,
Someone asked up thread re AA. I did go a few times but we have a very nosy town. Others have used Smart (a similar thing without the religious foundation).
I did find the meetings useful but they can be difficult emotionally. I cried my eyes out. I think the back stories can be shocking too. I believe both are online now so you can go off camera.
The steps can be hard and with AA you have to see yourself one step away from doom. That bit wasn't for me.
However people are kind and funny and it's free.

I didn't get out yesterday. I came over all maudlin. I bought a take out dinner ((it's great being near a large town) and I washed it down with milk!
A bit of peace today. DHs birthday at the weekend so we might go out.
Have a good day all.

@WendyWagon hope you feel a bit lighter today. sending love.

@WendyWagon keep going. Hope your day today is better.

AA wasn't for me either. I did SMART recovery, which I did find very helpful.

Dog is currently off his t+ts on sedatives, but his injection went well, with no fuss and got top marks all round from the vet. Phew.

Strength and love to all. x

Good morning all,

Hello @hkz - I tried to tag you as threemeandthedog when I started the thread and it didn't work - so that explains it!

Welcome @debtfreeme and well done on 6 months. I long for some real life sober companionships too, and it's difficult because of my profession. Haven't solved that one yet. Not a nosy town like @WendyWagon - I live somewhere big, cosmopolitan and anonymous - but my job really makes it impossible to do anything like AA or Smart. Anyone remember the AA meeting in The West Wing that Leo goes to, along with other politicos? Not in politics, but I could do with somethign like that.

Welcome @Starlia - I'm a broken record on here recommending clare pooley - I find her funny and realistic.

@Onewildandpreciouslife ordered Laura McKowen after seeing your post and posted the 9 things on to a note on my phone - very helpful.

Glad to hear the gorgeous hound did so well @REP22

Wishing everyone a lovely calm sober Friday. I'm not doing so well with my mood - sad, lonely, tired. But at least i know i'm feeling those things.

Thanks @livingalivelife , much appreciated. I'm sorry to hear that you're not feeling great. I think there's a lot of that at the moment, cares somehow seem to be pressing down that bit harder. I resorted to a bag of Maltesers last night when my conscience was pricking me over sedating the dog, but I know that's not a real solution.

Look after yourself. You're a lovely person, and so helpful to us all. The world is a better place because you are alive in it. Hope you are able to enjoy some things over the weekend. xx