On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat CONTINUED....

[Determineddoris]

Hi all,

Can't believe the last thread has already filled up!

Thank you to all of you for the incredible support shown in the last thread especially @amdone123.

Everyone is welcome! This is a safe, non judgmental space.

Sorry about my inability to tag everyone but if others can that would be great!

@Determineddoris have you tried the CBD drinks? I have them sometimes and they are actually quite nice and they don’t make you want to keep drinking more and more!

Morning all, still AF here. Am on day 5, had to start over so many times it's ridiculous, I've even deleted the App as I was fed up of having to go back to day 1. Hey ho. Slight weight loss, so am encouraged to continue efforts on all fronts. Also my sleep is back to normal again, so feel so much better for that. Back to the pool and my meditative lengths, and with a drop in the temperatures here, hopefully back to hiking out in the mountains again.
@Determineddoris keep going, I'm in awe at your nearly 100 days. Sorry you're going through a rough time at the moment, but would be such a pity to cave in to the WW's whispering voice now. I'm with Bigbus and the CBD drinks. I actually enjoy a ginger Trip from time to time. Not really a buzz but very pleasant to drink. The ginger has a kick in it.
@Touty keep going, well done.
@Alleycatz and @Amdone123 definitively putting ourselves first, or at least at the top of the priority list, is important. I sometimes think that drinking was also, for me, a way of getting some sort of reward, instead of always being last on the list for everyone.
@afaloren will check Kylie out. Can't remember who mentioned Bees Knees, but will have a look too.
Was wondering how Mummykins54 is doing.

To everyone, keep going. Stay strong. We are all worth this respite from the wine witch, or whatever witch is trying to boycott our efforts to feel better about ourselves, live better and healthier lives, also save quite a bit of money, which can always be spent to pamper ourselves. I was/am thinking of putting a set amount of money in a pot to actually see how much I am saving.
Hope you all have a good, strong day.

Morning, folks. So lovely to wake to such positive messages. Even if some of us are struggling, it's good to know you're not alone.
@Determineddoris a massive well done on getting this far, especially with all the issues you're dealing with. You've so much strength, honestly - so much stronger than the wine witch and we all know how strong she is !
@Nowstrong well done on Day 5. I laughed ( sorry) when you said about starting all over because when I first started tackling this problem ( I was on club soda), I was determined to quit. I read other posts where people had said they'd had 1000s of day 1s, and me being a perfectionist, somewhat competitive and definitely unrealistic, thought that won't be me ! Alas, I've had thousands of day 1s.

Day 6 today and I'm going strong really. Slept so well, I wake up smiling when I'm not hungover. I'm busy with work etc and where this used to be my downfall ( tired, reward = wine), I'm trying to change my thinking. I could easily have drank yesterday, easily but I didn't.

@afaloren , day 8 - brilliant.

Have a great day, everyone.

Hi @Amdone123 and well done. Love reading your posts on here.

Day 9 - assuming I make it until bedtime - here. Excited to get to double figures. I’m eating too many sweets but they won’t make me black out!

It feels like the first day of Autumn here - my favourite season - so I’m celebrating with a pumpkin chai latte. Delicious. I’m letting myself have whatever treat I want at the moment. The diet can wait!

@Determineddoris wow you are doing seriously well! You must feel amazing about yourself!

Yes the librium is now going to be started again but from today. First one this morning. Just got blood tests results from the doc and nothing showed up so that is a massive relief. She was checking for everything like liver etc so that is a weight off and it means it will kick me back into action. I spent all weekend crying over my ex but the anger has started to kick in now and I have deleted and blocked him from anywhere I can. He clearly has empathy issues and I do not want to live my life with a person like that, I want and need a supportive partner not this silent treatment.

@Bigbus I was so happy with all the support I have received. I did drink all weekend and cried and felt totally at a loss but starting to think it is HIS loss now. If you can walk away so easily from the person you were meant to be in love with then his actions have spoken volumes. Today I am focused and clear on what I need and that is all I need right now.

@Needtokickthehabit that's great news about the blood tests. The only way now is up. Yes, stay focussed - you deserve to be healthy, physically and mentally.
@afaloren , thanks - I always think I waffle on 🤣.
I've been drinking a lot of hot chocolate too. With marshmallows. Yeah, forget the diet for now. It's too hard to do both. Like when people give up smoking and drinking for a new year. Too much. Ready to celebrate day 10 with you ❤️

Day one done. I have taken my three pills, had shower and dinner and in pj's now with a cup a soup!!!!

@Needtokickthehabit that's great. You can do it.

Well done for going to bed and the cuppa soup @Needtokickthehabit !! And crying over the ex is required literally to let it all out, its healthy to have a good cry! it must hurt so much but you will get through this!! and yes good news about the bloods as well-you are on a roll!
I have just made a GP appt for my son, we cant afford private counselling etc and he really needs help-my H has been so moody and now i know why -its lack of money, he always gets into these funny states when he hasnt got enough money yet he wants to do a major renovation in our house! doesnt make sense, we are supposed to be working together for our son but hes so harsh and rude at times im like whats the point, i dont know im at the end of my tether plus looking for a new job etc so income is tight but instead of understanding hes being an arse!! had to get that out sorry! @afaloren you sound like you are doing great and yes the sweets dont make you black out thats what i say to myself! @Nowstrong you are doing great! and yes to the day 1s, im hoping this will be my last day 1 but you cant get too complacent in all this. I am feeling better for sure but my moods are all over the place! I wish i could run away and escape somewhere for the day....

Well done @Needtokickthehabit ! One day at a time. You can do this. I love a good soup in the evening.
You're right @Determineddoris, a good cry from time to time does help. I have a stone on one of my regular walks, which I now call "my stone" where I once sat, tired, on my own in the middle of the woods and had a good, long sob. I'd just lost a substantial amount of money in my divorce and was worried sick. Also disgusted about all the lies my ex had told his lawyer about me. No custody of children to fight over. Just money. Well, to cut a long story short, everything worked out alright, but it still marks you. The worry. The disgust. The helplessness that you feel. Then I had to find my anger. Sorry, digressing.
I'm sorry that you are going through hard times and admire you for being able to stay AF and still face all of your problems. Stay strong. Can you effectively "escape" for a weekend or just a day, to friends or family? To get a breather.
@Amdone123 well done for hot chocolate and @afaloren for the sweets. Good idea to have substitutes.
Still AF here. Off for a good walk. It has rained here and the temperature has gone down, so should be pleasant and will make a change from swimming. Have a friend coming for dinner tonight. I love cooking and receiving guests, just have to make sure that I have an AF alternative drink for the evening. Bit fed up of AF beer.
Wishing everyone a good day.

@Determineddoris sorry you're having such a tough time. Sometimes things get really bad before they get better. I sincerely hope things start to improve, at least you've got a gp appointment, it's a start.
No wonder you feel like running away. Is there anywhere you can go for just a day ? ( you also need to reward yourself...is it 100 days yet ?!).

@afaloren well done for still being af. Have you tried diet ginger beer ? Of all the af drinks that's the one I prefer. It's got a kick to it.

I'm still af but just about. Day 7.
Yesterday was a bit stressful with one thing and another. I didn't go to the shops after work - used what we had in for tea. I knew I'd buy wine, that's why I didn't go. I'm so glad I didn't because I'm really busy today.
Lots to do yet in my journal today, one aim - stay af.

So on to day two today. I have taken first of my three tablets and had a smoothie for breakfast. May as well go all out now I know my bloods are normal. Busy work day ahead and dinner tonight is nothing that could be paired with wine so going to try stick to a 7pm meal then shower and into pj's and thats me done. I had a decent sleep last night too and no sweats which was good. Best of luck to everyone today x

So fingers crossed, I seem to be staying on the right path at the moment re the booze. Houseguest arrives today and at the moment I feel strong and no desire to drink, please may it continue. I just have to grit my teeth at bar time!

I recently shared a picture I had taken and so many people said how good I looked, then I looked at a picture from this time last year and I thought how old I looked, anyway there was definitely a difference I can only think that the lack of booze suits me, and that keeps me going.

Thanks @Amdone123 and @Determineddoris and well done everyone! I haven’t tried any ginger beer but I’m really enjoying my iced teas.

Day 10! Double figures! I think I’ve read every sobriety memoir going but I’m still listening to the audiobook of Drinking: A Love Story. Such a shame the author died so young.

Keep going everyone, you can do it! I’ve booked a cinema trip and a board game friend date for this weekend so got that to look forward to.

Oh god it is a hard hard day today. It was an anniversary of sorts of me and the ex and I have just missed him so much all day. I knew going to work I was going to be teary and I held off till I was driving home but I feel like I have been stabbed in the heart all over again. I miss him so so much.

The good thing is, well so far, I got home and have poured myself a heineken zero. i was tempted by the shop but the thoughts of drunk texting him actually stopped me so every cloud I guess. It will be a long evening though.

Well done on coming straight home @Needtokickthehabit you did a hard thing. Try to remember there’s no bad situation made better by booze. I’ve learned that lesson the hard way. I’m still learning it!

Have you got some nice food in for tonight? Something to watch to take your mind off it?

Yeah I had murder with the kids cos they are just lazy fecks (nobody left all them glasses in each of their rooms can you imagine, it was the glass fairy) but yeah im going to do a nice platter of cheese and things i like shortly when they have vacated the kitchen doing stupid homework. They have been fed. The temptation today though was unreal.

I had the wine witch tapping me on the shoulder this evening, had to go and get bread at 6pm, danger zone and my will was at it's weakest, but I made it out with just the bread....... and a packet of dark choc digestives

@Hohofortherobbers well done you :)

@Hohofortherobbers well done ! Do you have alcohol in the house or would it mean going out for it ?
@Needtokickthehabit it's hard when you're stressed and you want to just think feck it, but keep going. Wine wouldn't make you feel any better, it's just that initial rebellious act - well, it is for me. Not sure who I'm rebelling against half the time.
@afaloren 10 days, that's brilliant - what's the plan ?
@Determineddoris how's it going?

I knew I was going to struggle yesterday. I did go shopping and was so tempted but as I needed to be up early today, I knew it would not end well.
Got to go....be back

Today starts my day 3. Yesterday was a serious test but I got through it and have to remember that. I was just so sad, sometimes it hits me in waves but I had the zero heino and did not go out for the wine so that is good.

I'm back 🤣....had a 7am appointment.
@Needtokickthehabit well done for not going out for the wine. That's really good. You know now that you you can get through the day.
The more days you do, the greater your confidence will be.

I picked up 2 x kopparberg rose. Really nice but didn't hit the spot and I won't buy again. I just wanted a glass of wine. I'm glad today that I didn't cave but that's all I wanted.
Day 8 of no wine ( just 2 beers that were horrible and the cider that was a waste of money ).

Morning all! Well done @Needtokickthehabit for resisting what I now name as "the call". I can even imagine a witch like person waving and beckoning to me, calling out "drink me, buy me"... definitively going bonkers.
@Amdone123 I got an AF bottle of red wine yesterday to taste and test. It's just expensive grape juice (well wine is too), now opened and tasted (was not impressed), has to live in the fridge until I finish it or pour it down the drain. As you quite rightly say, nothing really hits the spot, so I have decided to stick to water, AF beer and some Trip. Not going to waste any more money. Really need a to start a saving pot for the cash saved on not buying wine.
Sleeping a lot better. Cravings are lessening, not only for a stiff drink but also for munchies. Am losing count of my AF days, but I think I'm on day 7, a whole week. Yay me!
How are you doing today @Determineddoris? Hope things are going smoother.
Wishing everyone a good day

Thanks @Amdone123 and well done!

My plan is not to drink until we go on holiday at the end of the month. I don’t plan to get wasted while I’m there but it would be nice to have a few drinks. If I can go until Oct 2 that will be four weeks, nice and neat. Then see how I feel.

I really hope the GP is able to help @Determineddoris . Sorry to hear that your H is adding to the stress. Good luck with the job hunting, hope you find something really good soon.

I haven't had a drink since I got back from holiday 20 days ago. I surprised myself by not even having one when we went out for a meal two days ago - I think that was largely down to there being someone who wasn't drinking, as well as one who definitely was. I think it is easier this way for now, whilst I get the rest of the stuff in order.

I've managed to sort out my sleep to some extent - now get up at the same time every day and never take the ipad to bed. It is lights off and fall asleep listening to an Audible book. I was VERY tired some days whilst I was transitioning but through the other side now. Due to this, going back to work and the heat last week everything else seems to have slipped a lot - so I was thankful that I still had the one steady of sticking to my drink rules. I've got the day off today so the plan is to sort of a few of these things that have slipped quite badly...progress certainly isn't linear...