On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat CONTINUED....

[Determineddoris]

Hi all,

Can't believe the last thread has already filled up!

Thank you to all of you for the incredible support shown in the last thread especially @amdone123.

Everyone is welcome! This is a safe, non judgmental space.

Sorry about my inability to tag everyone but if others can that would be great!

I just feel so depressed today, things just seem to be getting worse for me

@Touty you can always talk on here. It's a safe place ; no one will judge anything you say.
If you want to speak face to face, could you chat to a friend or your gp ?
❤️

@Touty I think you will, so in a way, just accept it today. Alcohol is such a massive depressant and it’s probably still in your system a bit. I know if I have a hangover the first bit is spent just desperately wanting to feel better then it turns into feeling absolutely awful mentally. @Amdone123 has mentioned the same - it’s a ridiculous weak spot because the evil booze will convince you a route out of the fug is - stupidly - a drink. Hang on in there and be very kind to yourself.

would it help to talk about it? What has your DP said? If you don’t want to, that’s fine.

day 7 here. That’s a milestone. I did a few 4 day and 3 day stints last year (rarely!) and can’t drink tonight as I’m driving DC about. My sleep has suddenly turned EPIC!!! I used to wake up and need to wee about 3 times or wake up dehydrated and often take 2 pints of water up and drink them both. Now the water is untouched and I’m just sleeping straight through. The only issue is the self belief I won’t drop off, so it ends up being midnight. Now we are back to school and work and up at 7 I absolutely need to be in the land of nod before 11. That’s todays goal.

Twitched a lot yesterday with Sunday lunch, but held fast, and was actually not as evil as I sometimes am sober. I’m also finding I’m a lot sharper at work, less foggy and making better food choices. I need to spend as much time thinking about these positive things as I do about wine.

@Touty please to talk to us, if you think that would help. I'm so sorry you're struggling at the moment.

So sad about your cat @wellitywellness . Hope you're doing ok.

AF#7 some sense of accomplishment

Well, I've done a week. Cold has developed into a stinker - red nose, chapped lips and lost voice emerging. Which I guess makes being AF easier...

@Amdone123 sounds like you are doing great! how was the cooking this weekend did you do the Yorkshire pudding wraps? if you did were they good?
I have failed miserably so far with cutting down, its so hard! Its so good to see others doing such a great job at it though it really does give me hope i can do it at some point.

@mickandrorty thanks, I feel like I am doing well, but taking it one day at a time.
I froze the beef and used leftover chicken to make chicken chow mein instead. Was so nice !
I have yet to make the wraps, but I've been making them for about 3 years now - And my sister said you can buy the wraps !

Weekend was lovely, quiet - slept a lot, but missed the wine. I'll be ok through the week, can't promise anything for Friday.

Just try to do it your way. I know when I went to AA ( and on another forum), they'd all been sober for 145 years ; made me feel inadequate. Also, on another forum, they didn't seem to be struggling ( some of them).
It's easy to compare, but you march to the beat of your own drum, as they say, and you'll find a rhythm.

Hmmm. Didn't expect to feel so low today. Cried a bit at my work bestie when she asked how the vets had gone (last thing on Friday). I've fielded divorce, depressions and deaths of multiple relatives with much greater dignity than this.

I wasn't quite expecting this void - the weight on my bed, the pad pad pad into the room, the companion by my side while I'm working. I hadn't realised quite how much he punctuated my day, from morning cuddles to night time ones and everything in between.

I would sorely love a drink, but it wouldn't bring him back, so....

Fortunately blogwise, we have one I made earlier to draw on - this time a summary review of The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray, the first of a few quit lit reads this week to come...

https://wellitywellness.com/2024/01/08/dry-january-8-unexpected-joy-of-being-sober/

AF#8 Alcohol was making old before my time

Morning, folks.
I keep forgetting to do my # statements but I'm enjoying reading yours @Coppergate7 .

Day 9. I'm feeling great, optimistic, energetic etc, but yesterday was hard.
I had to take my bag to work because I needed a few bits, was so hard not to buy any.
I managed to resist. There's another shop on the walk home and a petrol station ( both sell my favourites), and I was so tempted.
But, today, I'm up and I've done loads already - washing x 2, made tea, tidied up, walked the dog.
I know none of this would have been done with a hangover.
I'm not taking my bag to work today.

Hello everyone. @wellitywellness I'm so sorry to hear about your cat. It sounds like you're dealing with your loss so well. Your post about the Catherine Gray book has prompted me to read it again. I have it on my bookshelf and don't care if visitors see it there, it really helped me when I made a total fool out of myself and realised for the umpteenth time I had a problem.

@Touty Are you OK? Whatever the terrible thing was that prompted me to read the Catherine Gray book, I can't even remember what it was now. It's important to take action when you realise you need help but how ever bad you are feeling right now, it won't be forever.

I don't feel able to go totally AF just now but I am having (only) a couple of beers a night and waking up without hangovers, so taking that as a win. I recently started a weight loss medication on which it is not advisable to drink too much. It contains naltrexone which apparently helps with alcohol cravings. Can't say if it has had an effect on me yet.

Day 11 - wow! Sod it, I am going to build on this momentum and aim for the month. I haven't lost any weight yet but I think I look a BIT less haggard!

Back at work tomorrow so should be easier but the colder weather doesn't help.

I read the Catherine Gray book last time I did Dry January - I have decided to quit the quit lit this time as it just makes me think about drinking- and loads of them tell you to keep drinking when reading them which I found to be a bit of a headfuck and made me wonder whether I should start again which would defeat the object!
Tried the Annie Grace one too but she was talking about "drinking poison" so much it was starting to give me the rage and I never finished it.

@Touty Hope you are OK and feeling better today!

@wellitywellness I cried for weeks after losing one cat - I'd be driving along and a song would come on that made me think of her, or I'd see one of her favourite places and she wouldn't be in it. The little furry fuckers have such special places in our hearts. We still have the sister of the one we lost recently which helps in a way as there's still a furry cuddle there if needed. Just a different furry cuddle, it's not the same.

@WouldRatherBeAPieceOftToast no hangovers is a definite win, you're doing great!

@Amdone123 I had a productive day yesterday, but I got up way to early, hated every minute of it and made myself do everything anyway - swearing and moaning and being grumpy all the way through. Glad now as I can relax today - and if I'd had a hangover and woken up in that mood I just would have gone straight back to bed!

Hello all, what a beautiful day! I slept well and feel very motivated and positive. Celebrating a family members bday tonight, she isn't fussed about booze and would rather have tea so no temptation there to be worried over.
I hope you're OK @touty even if you're not ready to talk just give us a wave to let us know you're lurking, it'll soon be time for a new thread and we don't want to leave you behind.

@Freezingfeetwarmheart Re quit-lit, I struggled with the Allen Carr's insistence that all alcohol tastes shit and we have just been duped into thinking it's nice through marketing. Yeah, a lot of it tastes like shit but there is no telling me a decent red with some nice cheese does! I haven't read Annie Grace but I heard it's just the Allen Carr one rehashed.

I've read most of Professor Nutt's one which seems the most balanced I've come across, planning to finish it next month, there are some handy tips for moderating in there that I am already planning to use.

Am trying not to TALK like a self help book too - DH was having a drink on Sunday and I caught myself explaining that I would join him for one, but it would ignite the pleasure receptors or something in my brain and make me want another, whilst at the same time lowering my inhibitions enough to make it more likely I would go along with this and actually have another. DH agreed that I was completely right (as he was getting another for this very reason 😅) but didn't seem to mind the explanation!

@Freezingfeetwarmheart 🤣🤣, love it

Another one not convinced that a full immersion into quit lit helps. Thinking about something other than drinking does though! Still, small snippets are useful sometimes.

Hope you're managing ok today @wellitywellness . Definitely one of the saddest times of my life when one of my beloved pets died.

How are you today @Touty?

I got hardly any sleep last night and my voice is almost gone but feel a lot better compared to yesterday. Pretty sure past the peak of this cold now. Will need to find something to do distract myself from the celebratory mood that will almost certainly follow in the next day or two...as I know what that could lead too...

Pity I seem to have lost the ability to edit my latest AF#. I just had one sentence to try and make sense...I'll try again:

AF#8 Alcohol was making me old before my time

a few frustrations at work today which normally would have had me raging but this time I just handled them without it really being an issue. I’m coping better with the small frustrations!

Hi all, thank you for the best wishes. I am still struggling to stay dry, but am still on the wagon - albeit by the skin of my teeth. Largely as a result of this thread, and my blog writing task (which I literally wouldn't have time for if I were drinking...).

Another quit lit summary today - the second of a couple more to come - then I'll be looking at alcohol's effect on the brain and brain chemistry later in the week too...

https://wellitywellness.com/2024/01/09/dry-january-9-glorious-rock-bottom/

Not drinking tonight.

Can't remember the last time I didn't. Could be six months. Which is horrendous now I've written it down.

@colouringindoors see today as a fresh start. You're here, you're willing to give it a go - you can't do much more than that.
One day at a time.

I've not struggled as much today as yesterday. Possibly because I ate a big tea at 2.30pm.
Day 9, but I'm not going to be af at weekend. I know I'm not ! Still I'll have had a decent break, 11 days.

I think that the Drink Aware app is helping so far. Last week was horrendous because I had several family events and drank nearly 40 units! But also had 3 days off. Goodness knows what I was drinking before. Il
day 3 today but planning to have 2 glasses of wine tomorrow. I really hope I can stick to it because that would be my ideal - 3 or 4 days AF and 2 drinks on drinking days and maybe a bit more on special occasions.

Hi all!
just caught up!
firstly touty I really hope you’re ok. I think you’re so brave to admit you need help and I really hope you’re feeling a little better. As others have said please share here. Everyone really cares!!! wellity sorry to hear your sad news! Take care xxx

I just say big bus thought sharing your story to comfort touty was really selfless. Love how many good people are on this thread!!!!

lots of success stories on here too for us all, whether we are abstaining, moderating, weekend drinking etc etc. @Amdone123 @Hohofortherobbers @Coppergate7 all sounding super positive!

it’s day….. 15 here!!! Super pleased with myself! But listened to a podcast whilst on my walk and someone mentioned wine and now I think I want a glass at the weekend 🙄mad how that can trigger me when I’ve been telling so positive!!! but… I’ll keep my mind in the present and see where we are then!!

AF#15- noticing a brightness in myself

Night all xxxx

Sorry guys, had tagged everyone but it wouldn’t post. So role call to all to say where ever you are and whatever you want to achieve, we’ve got this xxxx

@Freezingfeetwarmheart also ty for comment about your DH and his family! It’s so tough so good to know I’m not the only one xxx