On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat CONTINUED....

[Determineddoris]

Hi all,

Can't believe the last thread has already filled up!

Thank you to all of you for the incredible support shown in the last thread especially @amdone123.

Everyone is welcome! This is a safe, non judgmental space.

Sorry about my inability to tag everyone but if others can that would be great!

Im really struggling.

felt really down tonight, I went to the shop was closed for celebrations, ended up in the local bar, OH picked me up sometime later, said he found me sleeping at the side of the road, feel like a complete loser

now feel sick as a dog

why do I do this

@Touty I'm so sorry you felt depressed and it ended in that way.
I know from experience that you're going to feel terrible for at least 24 hours. I've been there.
Do you know why you were so down in the first place?
Are you still really unhappy with your living arrangements?
Keep posting here. We'll help you ❤️

Morning all.
Special message for @Touty.
Thank you for being brave and sharing. It’s hard to be honest when you feel like you’re behaving in a way you don’t want to.
I think @Amdone123 raises a good point, it would prob be quite a good idea to try and unpick what’s making you down. Judging from your post it was feeling low that pushed you into unplanned binging.

Today may be tough. We’ve all been there. I’ll keep a good eye on the thread today so any support you need just message.
Sending you strength and well wishes today xxx

@Touty - big hugs to you. Everything that amdone and Mj has already said from me too. ❤xx

Morning, folks, hope we're all doing OK.
I had a lovely day yesterday. It was very quiet, and it did feel like something was missing. In the past, when I've felt like that, I've just gone out and got it.
Yesterday, I just accepted that it's going to be difficult and I had to try.
It was hard though and if I'd had it in, I'd have drank it.
Today is another quiet day. Dh is working, just me and my dog today.
I was going to go for a walk and bit of shopping but I'm not now. I do enough exercise through the week and I don't need the temptation.
I'm not worried about Monday to Thursday.

@Touty another one sending you a hug 🩷. Be kind to yourself.

I have survived my biggest challenge - Sunday. DH and I went for lunch and I didn’t have a drop (and had to watch him enjoy 3 glasses however he usually would’ve ordered a bottle so that’s a win for him too). I deliberately picked a place that I knew it would be easier to not drink at.

Now I’ve gone 7 days I’m thinking I should contemplate dropping my calories and make this into a weight loss exercise. I wasn’t going to worry about a diet for a few more months but if I’m going to be ‘sacrificing’ a lifestyle maybe I should go all in for the next 3 weeks so I get more out of it.

@Amdone123 enjoy your empty house and quiet day. Sounds lovely. (And think how good you’re going to feel starting the new week tomorrow!).

Hope you have another lovely day @Amdone123 . Avoiding the triggers/temptation and accepting it is going to be difficult at times sounds wise.

I want to write things like this down. I have been using an online journal but nothing beats being able to easily flick through. I’m going to make an appointment with myself to start this at 11 am and stop arsing about trying to find the perfect book!

I’m full of cold - not prepared for work tomorrow at all, but also not really bothered. It would be nice but… meh!

AF#6 Sit with and learn from my emotions rather than trying to escape

Well done @Swannyb ! I’m planning on doing the same - getting the weight loss going too, hopefully by this time next week…

@Swannyb I honestly find that when I don't drink, I lose weight. I still have a few treats a day. I think compared to the liquid calories ( 2 x wine, easily a thousand calories plus beer 500 - not to mention the hangover food. In fact, that was the worst because if I don't eat when hungover, I'm not good).
I've lost 3lb this week, though it helped going back to work.
Well done on not drinking today ( yesterday?) your Day 7. That's really good, sitting opposite someone who's drinking.
@Coppergate7 , made me laugh - finding the perfect notebook. We were definitely separated at birth 🤣
I enjoy writing it down, like you say, you can look back on it.
Hope your cold gets better.

Checking in as well. Today's blog is a round up of week 1 and all about building toolkits / coping mechanisms, etc.

https://wellitywellness.com/2024/01/07/dry-january-7-one-week-in/

If I may give my own self a plug for a minute, I'd highly recommend reading yesterday's entry on the harms of alcohol. This has already changed my life - if not downright saved it - so well worth a read.

https://wellitywellness.com/2024/01/06/dry-january-6-harms-of-alcohol/

My poor boy went downhill suddenly and I had to take him to the emergency vet to be put to sleep. I'm really going to struggle later - I think the rules of DJ do make allowance for deaths in the family (or at least mine might...).

@wellitywellness awh, I'm so sorry. It's heartbreaking, it really is.
You do what's best for you - sending you love and strength ❤️

@Touty I hope you are starting to feel
better. What started me out on this thread is that I went to a party, got so drunk and either fell over or was pushed over on the way home - I suspect the latter as my bag was missing afterwards although I still had my phone. I couldn’t get into my house because my keys were in my bag and no one was answering the door or phone so I ended up sleeping on my own doorstep until my teenage daughter got up and met me in. I was so ashamed and embarrassed. I had bruised and scratches for ages and I put myself in such a vulnerable position. It’s still makes me horrified when I think about it now but I also see it as a proper wake up call and it’s definitely led me down a path of better moderation. I try not to beat myself up about it. There’s a lot more to me than that incident but I’m also aware that almost every bad or embarrassing memory I have of things I’ve done or ways I’ve behaved have involved alcohol. I’m still struggling sometimes but luckily since then have not had evenings I can’t remember or done anything really stupid or dangerous. I just seem to have a wine monster in me sometimes and I’ll just drink and drink and drink.

Yes @Touty , I've been thinking about you, too.
I hope you're ok. I could have written @Bigbus 's post, word for word.

I never had a rock bottom as such - I've read most people don't. I should have had, as I remember all to well, many an incident, but what I did have was a gradual realisation that I'd had enough.
That's when I joined this thread, too.
Like @Bigbus , still struggling but it's got better.

@Touty be kind to yourself today, recover, then think onwards and upwards.
I'm good, early meal out last night, momentary pang but quickly passed. This time last week I was starting on the wine that gave me the monster hangover on nyd. Today I am drinking tea and planning a bath and early night. I am happy to report anxiety levels have dropped massively. Feeling pretty calm. That's probably been the case since about Thursday, so day 4 AF.

Sorry to hear about your cat @wellitywellness its so hard to lose a companion. @Touty You haven’t failed until you stop trying. Shame is not going to help you now so be kind to yourself. When you feel better just think about what you could do differently next time.
The weather was ridiculously stunning here cold sunny and crisp. Stuck a stew in the slow cooker and did a 5 mile walk. It was so beautiful and if I had a drink last night I wouldn’t have done it. What is interesting is I don’t normally get Sunday cravings but today I got a craving for a glass (yeah right!) of red with my stew. I can’t be bothered to argue with myself so I just pushed it out of my mind and said it ain’t happening, end of!

@Atacamadesert that's a good approach 🤣 - well done.
I've struggled today but I keep reminding myself that whilst an af day is a bit boring, a hangover is worse. Now they really are boring.
Day 7 ✅

Im still vomiting and can’t keep even water down.

Ive had my rock bottom moment, I’ve got to admit to myself that I’m an alcoholic and can never drink again, otherwise it’s gonna kill me.

im lucky to be alive today, OH found me collapsed and passed out on the road, I could have been run over if he hadn’t found me. I need to go to AA.

thank you for all your messages I will reply more tomorrow

Well done for admitting this @Touty. Tomorrow can be the first day of the rest of your life. My bil went through this and he's 4 years sober now through AA and the happiest I've ever known him.

@Hohofortherobbers thank you so much, just to feel that there is hope to a better life means so much

I‘m so sorry @wellitywellness what a shitty thing to happen. Sending to you.

@Touty You should be proud of yourself for coming on here and admitting what happened. You don’t owe us anything, you could have never said a word. I’m so glad you are safe and sorry you’re feeling so rotten. I think trying AA would be a good idea, there are online meetings too.

I'm sorry for your kitty loss @wellitywellness I lost both of mine unexpectedly within a month last year and it floored me. DM me if you'd like to talk about your boy 💐

Sorry also to @Touty going through a hard time. One minute at a time, just get through tonight 🤗

Morning, folks, how did we all do at weekend?
@CrackersCheeseNoWinePlease @Freezingfeetwarmheart @LynnThese4reSEXPEOPLE @Mykittensmittens @Needtokickthehabit @OhShitImNearly40 @Nowstrong @WouldRatherBeAPieceOftToast @enoughisenough4 @mickandrorty
Usual apologies.
And hoping @Touty @wellitywellness hope youre both ok.

Good and bad ish news for me . An af weekend, all the usual benefits take me to day 8, but whilst I can see myself getting to day 11, I think I'm going to have some wine on Friday - that's the bad ish news.
My original plan was to only drink at weekend anyway - more realistic for me.
I'm proud of myself thus far.

Hi, just catching up - day 10 for me, this is the longest I've been alcohol free for years. Still haven't admitted to either myself or anyone else that I'm actually attempting Dry January, just in case I fail!
I DO have whiskey in but DH has helped himself to most of my mixer.

Last night was the biggest challenge - DH wanted a couple of drinks and it was our first night in together since after the Christmas/New Year period - he only had two and I had a couple of herbal teas so we both did well!

@Mj20 DH is also from a toxic family so well done for not succumbing after spending time with yours. There is a current "situation" brewing with the ILs here so I think he did really well to only have two all week, and would not have thought any less of him if he'd had more than that!

@wellitywellness so sorry to hear about your cat. It's just so heartbreaking - we lost one of ours in November right after I joined this thread, her kidneys failed out of nowhere and we couldn't save her - a few drinks in her honour and to drown my sorrows were had that week. I have an "extremely bad day" clause in ANY moderation or abstinence plans I attempt.

@Touty sorry you're having a bad time and please be kind to yourself. The "hangxiety" will be making everything feel 10 times worse. I have got myself into some shocking situations in the past, and not ONE of them ever made me think I shouldn't be drinking - so you are already more insightful than me! Please know you are not alone x

Love to everyone else - we got this!

Was away for the weekend so drinks were had.