On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat CONTINUED....

[Determineddoris]

Hi all,

Can't believe the last thread has already filled up!

Thank you to all of you for the incredible support shown in the last thread especially @amdone123.

Everyone is welcome! This is a safe, non judgmental space.

Sorry about my inability to tag everyone but if others can that would be great!

This is so helpful reading everyone’s journey here. I am really glad I joined.

@Amdone123 yes day 2 for me too. ✅ this is going to sound a bit dramatic but yesterday there was almost a little sadness for the fact that I need to do this because I haven’t been taking care of myself properly. I have always struggled with the responsibility of taking care of myself whereas I love taking care of my children and husband. There is a bit of self esteem and self worth issues there no doubt.

@Needtokickthehabit @Determineddoris@Bigbus @CrannyFaddock101 @Hohofortherobbers @WendyWagon well done everyone it is so interesting and inspiring reading the posts. .

@Alleycatz definitely a thing looking after others and putting ourselves on the back burner. Also, I've changed my mindset, gradually, instead of thinking I'm missing out, I'm looking after myself. Makes me happy rather than sad (but I do get the sadness).

What a boring day. A few hours ago, I nearly caved and walked to the shops. But, actually, having examined why I'm bored, it's because I haven't walked. I've no desire to walk in this heat when I'm so hot. But, ordinarily, I do walk for a couple of hours a day.
I know I'll be thankful tomorrow.
Day 3 ✅

Well done @Amdone123 on resisting the urge!

Day 6 here. I’ve had a few glasses of the Kylie non-alcoholic sparkling rosé. It’s nice.

DH is out which is a danger zone for me as historically I’ve used that as an excuse to drink as much as I want without anyone here to be disappointed in me but soon be home and I’m still sober. I’ve been reading Adrian Chiles’ book today.

That's great @afaloren , you're smashing it !
I had an af sparkling rose once from home bargains. Was called bees knees I think. Unfortunately I only saw it the once !

@Needtokickthehabit how are you getting on? Don’t worry if you’ve had a blip. We’re all here for you. You can do this.

Today was such a hard day, I really struggled with my mental health etc. Very difficult not to reach for the booze but I didn’t.
I have another houseguest coming in a few days and I’m dreading it to be honest, I’m not in the frame of mind to entertain and there’s also the added pressure to go out to the bar every night.

I wonder if I could pick up some night shifts to escape.

@Touty sorry to read this. Well done for not reaching for the alcohol - that took a lot of strength.
I couldn't imagine having guests - I'd find it so draining. I'd end up drinking just to get through it.
Could you pick up extra shifts ?
Is there someone else there to entertain them ?

Well done @Amdone123 fir not yielding. DH suggested walking into a new pub nearby to check it out even though he isn’t drinking alcohol at the moment the fecker but I resisted. Day 3 I’m over the wurst now until next Thursday/Friday when I feel I should treat myself. Well done @afaloren

@Touty i really really try to focus on minding my energy these days. It is such a tough mindset to break that you can learn to say no to too many visitors and that kind of thing. It was definitely something completely alien to me until very recently.

@Alleycatz thanks. I've been for a longggg walk this morning - cabin fever, had to get out.

I'm home now and I am going to have 2 beers. I picked them up when shopping but had no desire to buy wine, as I don't want to be hungover tomorrow - in itself progress for me. I usually press the f* it button.
I'm the same as you - over the worst as I think the week will be ok.
Saturday we're going holiday shopping ( go away Monday) and to our favourite restaurant but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Hello all, Day 7 for me. Week one done!

We saw friends today who we have done a lot of drinking with but I arranged for us to go on a dog walk then play board games and have lunch rather than go to the pub. It was a relief to find the conversation flowed just as easily! I told them I’m doing Sober September and they were very supportive.

I’ve got a headache now - think it’s the weather - which seems unfair as I’m drinking water!

@afaloren well done on Day 7, that's great. And for coming up with an af alternative activity.
I woke up this morning with a banging headache which didn't seem fair to me either - no wine yesterday - it's definitely the weather.

I had the 2 beers - complete letdown. I swiftly moved onto tea and hot chocolate - much nicer. I say swiftly because I told myself I should just go get wine.....
I'm still on day 4 because I didn't drink wine / smoke today 🤣

@Amdone123 i know it’s hard work! I think I need the vodka just to get thru it. No the guest will come on their own. I’m not going to drink! Next year I’m not hosting again.

@afaloren you are so right, I’m just going to have to deal with it this year, next year I’ll have to have a rethink. The problem is they come on holiday here on their own and they want to go out all the time which means me sitting in bars every night, I’m just gonna have to say I’m not going out every night.

Hey all. I did so well tues to thurs and then I did a stupid thing on Friday (I wanted my ex to meet me one last time to see him and clear the air so booked a hotel and he didnt show) so i drank a few glasses of wine. Then on sat as i was coming home I decided to tell my friends and family we had broken up as it was obvious at this stage and my best friend and my mum booked us a lunch out which resulted in drinking again... then sunday i went around to another friend to tell her and i got blotted again, woke an hour ago as i was in bed early. My mum has been here to mind the kids, I have explained to them that tomorrow I wont drink again i just needed escapism this weekend and they have been so good as have my friends. Im peri also so woke all itchy and scratchy but going to try for sleep again shortly. Back to the Librium tomorrow and I am going for a weekend away next weekend with my ex alc dad meaning not a hope of a glass of wine cos he is worse than an ex smoker. I dont regret drinking this weekend, I didnt send the ex any messages or call him and my friends have been supportive so I am a very lucky woman I just need to stop drinking and stop crying. My family and friends and kids love me. My dp/ex dp does not but hey who needs a man when you have everything else going for you eh? I have my job, my home, my friends/family/kids/pets I just need to deal with the fact I got dumped because of alcohol and deal with that.

Hi @Needtokickthehabit oh you poor thing you have really been going through a hell of a lot! I don't think it was fair that your ex dp/dp agreed to meet you and didn't show up without explanation? That's harsh. He knows you are going through something and trying so hard. Im so glad you have the support of your friends ans family irl! What is the plan then to take the Librium all week?

@Touty I feel for you ! You are doing all the right things remember when your house guest comes to take your partner that's one step as he doesn't drink. Second are you able to pick up some extra work somehow somewhere as @Amdone123 suggested ??? And yes don't host them next year...

Well done for not drinking wine @Amdone123 ! And for not going out to get it after the two beers!

I'm 96 days sober! Just had to look at the app there. I actually cannot believe it. I was looking up diary entries from last year and one of the aims for today kinda of thing was do not drink! I've been wanting to stop for 5 years now. Each time I'd get to a point and an even massive F IT button I've ever seen before comes into my vision. This time last year I did 2 months and got trollied at my best friends wedding anniversary party and don't remember any of it but remember the horrible aftermath of what did I say what did I do I felt remorseful and guilty and hating myself for days and days after but I still bloody carried on drinking ! I'm ok now (well I'm getting there as in my books I'm still early days ) with knowing I can never moderate. And that's ok. I mean let's see in 10-20 years what will happen but for now I'm AF!
Hope everyone else is ok sorry haven't been able to tag and mention etc x

@Determineddoris well done!! That’s amazing. You must feel great!

@Needtokickthehabit im so glad to hear from you again. Well done for your 4 days AF and for keeping the lines of communication with your family and friends open - that is so important. It sounds like you’ve got a great plan going ahead.

@Amdone123 well done for avoiding the wine! I drove someone home last night and got home at 23.30 and actually took a wine glass out of the cupboard then thought ‘What am I doing?’ and put it back.

I have successfully moderated all weekend and had a whole weekend without a hangover!

@Determineddoris that's brilliant - 96 days ! Soon be 100 ! So proud of you ❤️
@Bigbus well done for this weekend - no hangovers are brilliant aren't they.

It was something that @WendyWagon said last week about perhaps missing it, etc but the flip side being all those positives, including no hangover. I do think we have to weigh it up. I often drank because ' I felt like one', but when I looked closer at those few words, I realised I feel like one most days ( unfortunately), it doesn't mean I have to. I could drink all day, every day if I want - I'm an adult, but where would it get me ? Pretty miserable, I should think.

@Needtokickthehabit you did 4 af days that's brilliant. So, you had a blip, it doesn't matter. Put it behind you. A fresh start today. Keep posting, we're here for you.

Slept really well. Woke up a bit anxious ( busy week ). I'm glad I recognise this as anxiety though. I wish I'd gotten help for it years ago, but I thought it was just the way I was wired. I'm sure I wouldn't have drank as much.

I know that today I can tackle all I need to do, with enthusiasm and a smile. I can stay calm, focussed and I don't need the wine witch to help me along.
She can get to f*^#!

Have a great day, everyone. Keep smiling, keep doing your best.

Please can I come along amd join again. It's been a hectic few weeks ..... I got married amd everything !
Anyway I'm really really needing to do this and would appreciate being part of your group please ?
I don't think I can go cold turkey just yet though x

@Easterdaffsx of course you can ! And congratulations ! 🎊
Lots of people pop in and out on this thread, it's not a problem, we all have different things going on.
What's your plan then? Do you want to have a few af days, etc or moderate?

Thanks Amdone
So I want to be AF siting the week amd moderate at the weekend
I'm just a bit wary of suddenly stopping for the first time .
I thought I'll cut down by half this week ?

Hi @Easterdaffsx and welcome back. Congratulations on your wedding!

I’m finding the Dry Days app very useful. You input what you’ve drunk every day and it counts up how many dry days you’ve had this month and how much money/units you’ve saved not drinking every day. I think it’s free too.

Happy Monday people, just catching up on your weekends, we'll done @Determineddoris , 96 days is a brilliant achievement. Don't worry @Needtokickthehabit , hop back on the wagon with us. I'm committed to another Mon to Thurs here after a moderate weekend. A beer and half a bottle of red Fri with my mate, then half a bottle of red Sat, the other half Sun.

Day 8 in the bag!

Thanks @Amdone123
@Hohofortherobbers @Bigbus for the encouragement you'll never know how much it means to me to carry on!
I was so so stressed yesterday with my son (he has some needs but we've been trying something new out to calm him but sometimes it's backfiring!) And my god I had some cigs I hate to smoke but had one hiding because I couldn't take it ! No wonder I drank honestly just to take away the pain and thoughts and feelings and angst. I'm just so so down today but it is definitely lack of sleep, H is being a bit of a moody arse (im at home dealing with eldest he's at the office and I said he would prefer office so he doesn't have to deal with home). And we have a rat in our kitchen roof ffs . The escapism of drinking is real and strong
I was messaging my friend yesterday and I said I wish I could drink but it won't help matters. It's true. My H had bought me a zero per cent beer the other day which I opened and drank like I've never seen beer before lol it wasn't that nice. I need something with a buzz! Haven't found it yet.
Good day people ! Well done on all the brilliant moderating that has been going on! And day 8 for @afaloren well done !
I think on day 100 I'm going to treat myself somehow !

Oh no @Determineddoris i had a rat in my kitchen roof years ago and it used to crawl up and down the boxing around the waste water pipe coming down from upstairs. I hated hearing it scrabble around! Eventually we caught it but I couldn’t even look at the trap - my DH had to get rid of it! Usually I’m fine with spiders etc but rats give me the creeps!

I have been moderating well due to basically staying home but now I have a night out tomorrow with one person I know (who is definitely a drinker, not lairy just likes a drink!) and two people I don’t know at all. It is therefore very important that I don’t get drunk and make a tit of myself. I plan to order small glasses of wine and NOT bottles to share because that way leads to disaster!