On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat.

[Amdone123]

So, January is done and dusted - Praise the Lord. Following on from our last thread ( which was initially designed to help us moderate, but for some has - maybe - led to abstaining, thanks to how great they're feeling ), a new thread has been created.
So, if you're looking to abstain or want to moderate, or just need to chat in general, join us here.
Hallo to previous posters - onwards and upwards.

Glad the interview went well @Amdone123 ! Let us know how you get on. Soooo well done you for not going to the supermarket! That's a result! That's amazing not drinking at home honestly pat on the back! I do feel like I'm really stressing right now and I want to drink....I know I've done well so far and should be happy.. @MumLass well done on that plan sounds good which mom alcoholic wines did you go for?

@Determineddoris I would be upset too, but it is the best advice to forget them and move on - living well is the best revenge and all that!

@Amdone123 glad the interview went well 😊 And 12 days is such an achievement.

Hi @MumLass, sorry about your shitty ex, I do get the amount of drink slowly creeping up - I never used to drink nearly as much as I do now (though have always drank), it's scary really as you don't notice and then it's really hard to stop.

I had a beer last night and half a bottle of wine. I've had a beer tonight and said to DH as he was going out let's have Prosecco when you get in. Think thats me for the weekend now, I will try again next week to be AF Monday to Thursday.

@YouknoweverythingJonSnow , that's good half a bottle and a beer. Do you mean you'll have prosecco tonight then nothing Saturday and Sunday?
I've just read it's going to be lovely tomorrow. I did my usual of thinking I'll get in the garden, and read my book and drink.
But I'm going to wait til tomorrow and see how I feel.
I'd love to actually sit in the garden with my book and with a bottle of sparkling water.

No sorry, I meant that will be me drinking now all weekend. Not strong enough to not drink over the weekend.
Sitting in the garden sounds lovely, with or without a drink 😊

@Determineddoris I've not Nosecco, it's actually quite nice. I've had it before. Got a McGuigan alcohol free red to try to. So far this evening I have stuck with fizzy water and a cuppa. Not remotely tempted by wine so far. I'm sure that won't last long though!

Hello @MumLass !

Day 6/50 of my challenge done now. I'm not convinced my tactic for avoiding the Friday night urge was good long-term though...napping. Definitely need to improve my sleep hygiene and what I'm eating to help escape this. Clearly telling myself to stop it isn't working. I just feel foggy - I'll have to come back in the morning and engage properly!

Just started watching 'Matt Willis: Fighting Addiction' on iplayer.

I like the McGuigan sauv, it's the only one that seems to have taken all the sweetness out so it doesn't take like juice. Their red doesn't do it for me though. Only problem is, I think everyone round here feels the same as I can never get any!

Oh I’ll try that one if I can find it. I like dry wine and the alcohol free ones are usually sweet 🤢

6 days is great @Coppergate3! Well done. I’m aiming for 7 days AF then a weekend under 14 units. After that I plan to not drink in the week (sun-thu) and keep my weekend drinking within the recommended limits. Time will tell. I might find that I need to go AF completely. I think you ladies on here will be my accountability!

Good morning, folks !

Hope you all had a moderately successful Friday night. Whatever you chose to do, it's a new day ! It's beautiful here. I've just walked the dog and was thinking I'm up for the challenge of not drinking today. I'll still sit in the garden and read, etc.
Af today = a lovely day, relaxing with some jobs done. Challenge ✅
Wine today = smoking = probably texting shite later = a rubbish sleep = £30 at least for a headache tomorrow = hangover tomorrow and probably no zumba class as I'll be feeling sick.

Have a great day, everyone ❤️💯

Hi all@YouknoweverythingJonSnow that's not bad a bottle half and a beer. I succumbed yesterday and drank champagne...it's low calorie and my DH said let's open it 😔 and I couldn't say bloody no! Woke up late and rushing around for footie and kids parties and my little one is under the weather so was worrying but it would have probably been handled better had I not drank. I actually had a glass of two and thought right now I'll stop but I carried on...not sure how much I actually had but if it was half a bottle better than the full one as DH was drinking too. Oh I also had a gin forgot about the sneaky one that started all this. At least I'm accountable and I have had 4 AF days which is damn good considering I was drinking every.single.day.
@Amdone123 gorgeous here too, garden sounds fun with or without the alcohol, I like your equations immensely £30 for a hangover it's true though isn't it we pay for the torture! I also have been tending to smoke and drink and that racks up too! I am trying to be careful with money too but when it comes to poison all thoughts go out the window! 6 days is so good @Coppergate3 I was only a day behind you and feel like I've failed!
@MumLass I want to in my head do the same AF Sunday to Thurs but not sure what will happen I kinda did it this week Mon-Thurs so it is possible! Nozeco not too bad actually it's the others that have so much sweetness in them and when I research others they're so expensive! And if I end up buying online and it not tasting good it's a waste of money. How are you @Bigbus ?

@Determineddoris , that's OK if you succumbed - like you say you had 4 days af, so you had a break.
I've been in the garden with my books, but felt like wine, so I'm having wine.
I've had 6 days af so not regretting my decision.
Yes, it has cost me £20.....but, I used dh's card 🤣

Thanks @Amdone123 for the words the encouragement and show of support is amazing. Brilliant not to regret and yes you have had 6 days! Haha about using DH card well that's what it's there for right ??? I've been rushing about but am now home but did buy some white wine I've put in the fridge. I'm not going to regret anything but I do have work tomorrow so need to keep that in mind (I also am dreading work these days so that doesn't help!)

Mon - thu is good @Amdone123! In the last few months the most I manage is one day AF. I stayed AF yesterday. Woke up clear headed and we’ll rested, feeling proud of myself. I’m on day 2/7 of my planned AF week. Been in the garden, just had fizzy water and my book while the kids played in the sprinkler. I feel good today, I’m busy with them tonight and won’t be back until bedtime so I don’t think I’ll be tempted tonight either. Enjoy the sunshine ladies, with or without a drink as is your choosing. I went to Tesco today and for the first time in ages bought no alcohol! It was a cheap shopping trip. I dread to think how much I have spent on wine this year.

Morning, folks !
@MumLass , you're doing really well. Keep going and you'll soon have day 3 ✅ @Determineddoris that's good that you have work to keep you on track ( not so good that you're hating work at the moment ).
Well, I had 2 bottles of wine and I smoked and I texted shite. So, it all went to plan !
I'm not too bad - slight headache - but a chill day today, so all good.
I'll be af now til Saturday - so 6 af days.
@Coppergate3 , how's it going ?
I got to day 12 ( so, 25 % 🤣), then of course yesterday happened. I'm still carrying on though. I'll see how many Not Drinking At Home days I can have out of 50. It has been working for me. Several times over the past 2 weeks I could easily have drank at home.

Morning Everyone,

Quick check in from me. Not had a great week, have drank more nights than not. The quest continues! AF til next Saturday is this week's goal.

@Manyrivers , was wondering how you were ! Well, don't worry about it. It's nothing in the grand scheme of things. It happens.
I think a lot of us on here are staying af until weekend so we can all do it together.

Hi All! It has been a few weeks since I have checked in. How is everyone?

Moderating has/had (lol) been going well. I had a huge Friday afternoon. 3 bottles between 2. I had work yesterday and a bit today and my little dog has been back and forth to the vets both days as well but looks like he is coming good now fingers crossed. Having a senior dog with health issues is so, so stressful. :-(

I don't regret Friday because I had a lot of fun with a friend, but it was enough to scare me off it again for a while. I am still not feeling normal but looking forward to remaining AF for the foreseeable future now.

How have you all been going on your missions?

@Swannyb , hi !
Sounds like you've got it under control. I think the same when I've overindulged, so to speak. If I've enjoyed myself, I'm ok with it. But, it's not something I want to do regularly. I just realised that !! I'm getting too old for it anyway!
I think I'm doing well overall. I feel like I've been making lots of small changes which are gradually becoming a habit. Like the supermarket for example. I always bought wine when I popped in - I don't now. Or having a great day at work - always led to a celebratory drink. Not anymore !

Please can I join you all? Longtime MN user and lurker here but have NC to join for support.

In short, I drink every day and in recent years have started to scare myself with how much I can put away. Always wine, I don't like spirits or beer.

DH stopped drjnking 5 months ago for non-addiction related reasons, he has a health condition that had flared up where alcohol is unhelpful.

I am about 3st overweight and most of it comes from booze.

Menopause has added crippling anxiety into the mix and revived the horrible feelings of low self esteem and self hatred that dogged me as an adolescent and young adult. One of my teenage DC has had major MH issues over the last 3 years, it's not an excuse but alcohol has numbed the pain their issues and related behaviour has had.

I am really ashamed of myself and of admitting to others that I am a functioning alcoholic. I am still struggling to accept that I should abstain.

My DH doesn't comment but that doesn't mean he isn't judging me iyswim. I feel so worthless.

@liz4change , hi there and of course you can join us.
You sound so down, I can feel your sadness.
You're not worthless - you've got a lot to cope with by the sounds of it. I don't think I'd cope with a fraction of that - you're so much stronger than you think you are.
Let's make a plan today. What do you want today / this week / this month to look like ?
Get it written down and / or tell us here.
We will help you.
In one month's time, with our help and your small changes, I bet you'll see a massive improvement.
You're worth it, aren't you ? ❤️💯

Hi @liz4change and welcome! I've got a lot of excess wine pounds too...

I didn't make it to day 7 @Amdone123 - better than last time though! Congratulations on your 25%! I wonder if that is a good plan for me too...to count the days not drinking at home. I'll have to go back and work it out.

Yesterday I really fancied a glass of wine and but I didn't want to go out and forcing myself to stay AF felt counterproductive. I am pretty pleased with what I did though. I delayed (wanted a glass at 5.30 pm, but made myself wait until 6 pm, then 6.15 pm and I didn't have my first glass until 6.50 pm) by distracting myself. Then took it slower (didn't immediately leap up to get re-fill my glass). Finally, I was much more conscious of what I wanted and half-way through the third glass realised I didn't really want any more so poured it into DH's and had an options drink.

I know I can't do the above natural moderation if I increase the frequency of my drinking up again so those AF days during the week were instrumental in being able to do this.

Hi @Swannyb Sorry to hear that your dog has been having health issues. Hopefully he will stay well for a good long time now.

Trying to work out the stats@Amdone123 for the 50 days challenge. I think we started [the original one] on Mon 8th May? I've had 10 AF (and no drinking at home) days out of a possible 13 so far (77%) and my longest streak is 6 days.

@Coppergate3 , that's really good.
You should be pleased and proud of yourself, because it's not easy.
Yes we started on the 8th May. I had 11 out of 12, and 6 days af til yesterday. I really pleased with that.
It is working for me. I know what you mean about maybe not starting from the beginning again. I think we should just do what we've been doing. Maybe keep a note of both.
I know what you mean about not actually wanting it. I wasn't even enjoying the first bottle. I realised I wanted to smoke and I can only smoke when I've drank a bottle so I persevered. I swear I need therapy 😩
6 days seem to be a pattern for me too. Probably because the weekend gets in the way. When I have af weekends though, my streak looks amazing on paper 🥳

Yeah - let's do both @Amdone123 ! Interesting that you can't smoke without a bottle of wine, but now I think about it more it going back to when you could smoke in pubs etc I knew a lot of people who only ever smoked on a night out. Are you in the UK?