On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat.

[Amdone123]

So, January is done and dusted - Praise the Lord. Following on from our last thread ( which was initially designed to help us moderate, but for some has - maybe - led to abstaining, thanks to how great they're feeling ), a new thread has been created.
So, if you're looking to abstain or want to moderate, or just need to chat in general, join us here.
Hallo to previous posters - onwards and upwards.

Hallo and welcome @EnoughEnoughnow , great to hear you're drinking less than you did, and 3 nights a week sounds like a plan.
Do you just drink vodka ? I wish I could drink spirits - at least you can dilute it ( I could dilute wine but I've never been able to 😏).
Let us know say, your weekly plan - write it down here - and we can help you keep accountable
@determined , you've done great this week. And you stopped before having the full bottle. I think you've got good restraint ! What's your plan for next week? I think it's good to have a plan, even though I'm a firm believer in one day at a time. @Mj20 , glad you enjoyed it. You know now that you can go for a good period of time without it. I think when I get back from my break, I'm going to abstain for a while. I haven't lost much weight for my break away ( about 6lb - aim.was a stone) , but miserable January didn't help - possibly too much comforting food. But I also know when I don't drink wine, the weight comes off so much easier.
Did you lose weight in dry Jan?

Hello all, hope everyone is well and go @Mj20 for enjoying it guilt free! After I messaged on here I decided to have some gin, 2 glasses with tonic of course had anxiety in middle of night ~(even though I fell asleep straight away for once as I haven't been when not drinking to numb everything and staying awake until 1am and getting up 6am) I got up and thought to myself no i don't want to drink tonight and i come down and see mountains of wine my dh has put out for tonight , i said i don't want to drink and he laughed which was rude I thought. Anyway I really need to make a plan for tonight luckily I am not out but DH will start drinking around 4pm. I said dont drink in front of me and he told me to do one-again how rude! I didnt drink all week and I definately lost some weight (unsure how much but I didnt get the bloat from wine ) so thats an incentive. I also bought myself some new clothes yesterday so need to justify it. I am really going to try and keep busy with my hands tonight if possible, I tried crochet and i just ant get past the bit after a chain!
Welcome @EnoughEnoughnow really good you are already drinking less than you did and acknowledging it! When do you get back from your break @Amdone123 as I am hoping to abstain too but need a partner!

Hello, would love to join. I’m in Australia. I’ve gotten to the point where I could easily drink every night. My New Year’s resolution was to cut back to Friday/Saturday nights only and it’s working so far.
I only buy enough wine to see me through the weekend and then I don’t have any to tempt me for the rest of the week.
I’m sleeping a lot better and have less brain fog, and I’m more motivated during the week to do exercise so it’s all going well so far!

@Starlia , hi and welcome on-board. Well done for sticking to your new years resolution. I wouldn't have it in the house either - in fact, I almost drink on demand. If it's there, I'd drink it. Good that you're seeing those benefits too.
I'm very similar to you. I could easily drink every night if I didn't experience any negative effects. A friend of mine says she has a good night's sleep after drinking. I can't understand this ! She almost goes against the science.
I'm actually grateful I experience so many negative effects - it stops me from going mad.
@Determineddoris , I'm back on Thursday 9th. We could try a 20 day af stint, it would take us to end of February. I've got no plans to go anywhere either.

Hi @Starlia from down under! How are you doing ? Well done for cutting back from New year and not having that much in the house that is actually my ideal situation! But for some reason it didn't happen until now but it's early days. But also the wine is constantly in the bloody house so I can't not drink it somstimes ! When it's right there !!! I wish I didn't like the taste of alcohol....
@Amdone123 are you looking forward to the holiday ? DH has just told me he's booked rugby tickets but for the whole family next weekend so he will definitely be drinking so wondering if I will succumb but will be with kids not that that's mattered in the past but I need to make a conscious effort tto 'look' sensible in front of the kids they're so impressionable at this age so I'm not sure I have to do my very best for them! Without beating myself up it's so hard to be kind to ourselves in these situations isn't it? So I may end up drinking there may not let's see. How is everyone else ? @Hohofortherobbers @Mj20 ?

@Determineddoris , hi, yes I'm looking forward to a bit of sun !
Regarding the rugby weekend, just see how you feel when it's here. If you have a drink, it's not the end of the world. We can try for 20 days but it doesn't matter if we have off days. Even if we aimed for say, 16 ( that's 80 % 🤣).
I felt pressure after I messaged you regarding the 20 days, til I gave my head a wobble 🤣

Hi all. Thanks for checking in @Amdone123 and @Determineddoris and welcome newbies!!!!!

so update! After my 34 day AF I drank two glasses of wine last night (less than half a bottle) and really enjoyed myself!!!! Was pleased I moderated and felt like this could be a turning point for me!!! Redefining my relationship with alchol to just a couple at weekends!!’

However, this morning I woke up fine, no hangover but actually all day I haven’t felt the same energy and vibrancy I’ve felt whilst I’ve been abstaining!!! I’ve felt sluggish and cold and just a little off compared to how excited and buzzing and energised I’ve been feeling!

so it’s kind of a no brainier for me that I’m going to continue abstaining except for high days and holidays (such as birthdays etc) because actually I prefer feeling how I do when I’m alcohol free! Feels quite revolutionary!!!!!!
so I’ll continue on my journey and keep you all posted!!!!!!

@Amdone123 I think you asked about weight loss??? 5 pound in jan… which isn’t loads but my initial targets a stone so if I can do that in feb and March I’ll be there!!!

how’s everyone else?? @Hohofortherobbers @Nomorethanthree73 @EnoughEnoughnow

@Mj20 , 5lbs is great ! A healthy loss too.
Interesting your vibe today and what a revelation! It really is a no brainer 😏

@Amdone123 im well aware it’s easy to feel this way today when I’m tired and lethargic but I hope I can hold on to this feeling and abstain! Except for treats of course!!!!! Xxx

Thanks for the welcome. Interestingly I am finding myself drinking less at weekends since I cut out drinking during the week. Im taking that as a win!
To the PP who said you wish you didn’t like the taste of alcohol - I hear you! We have a bar full of whiskey, bourbon and red wine, none of which I like so it doesn’t tempt me. But I cannot have wine in the house or I will drink it - I actually really like it! I’ve substituted during the week with an AF wine and it has cut back the cravings really well.
Dunno if anyone else can relate to this, but drinking culture is really big in Australia and it’s hard to go to an event and NOT drink. Recently I asked a venue if they had an AF wine or cider and they had nothing on offer 😔

Just wanted to say I totally agree with the energy and motivation feeling - it’s so good!

Hi there! So I drank on Friday, the drought ended. I was out at an event, bought a bottle of red and had 2 x 250mls wine from it. I slept terribly and felt like death yesterday. Really headachy, tired and unenergetic. I'd brought the leftover 250mls home so inevitably I drank that last night. Slept much better and feel OK today. Back to dry for me for now. @mj20 it's coincidental we broke our dry stretch on the same day isn't it?! We must be in tune with each other!

Hello, Thank you @Amdone123 @Determineddoris @Mj20 for the welcome. I’ve had a little bit of success in that I went out on Saturday with friends. I didn’t have a drink before going out, or a ‘nightcap’ (excuse to keep drinking!) when I came home so only had two drinks all night which is unheard of for a Saturday. Though I shouldn’t have had a drink last night as It’s OH’s birthday today so will have a few tonight, but then my plan is to be AF Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.

@Starlia Im also in Australia and agree with you about the drinking culture. My partner drinks every day which makes it harder.

Evening all!!!
@Hohofortherobbers we must be in tune indeed! I’m glad you felt the same because I wondered if I was being a bit of a sensitive soul! We can abstain together again 🤣
and @Starlia congrats on your Saturday succcess!!!!!
how is everyone else @Amdone123 @Determineddoris

I really need this type of support network. I need to dramatically reduce my intake. I now have alcohol most evenings, it's a habit I'm keen to kick!

The best thing I’ve done so far is drink AF wine during the week. It still gives a nice taste and feels like a nice drink.
It has really taken care of the cravings that I would feel each evening 😊

Sparkling water is my go to. Nice glass and a slice of lemon. I've just stocked up. Really want to do this.

Hi all, wrote a long reply and it got deleted that aw snap thing its driving me crazy!
@Manyrivers welcome I am/trying not to be in the sane boat but inevitably with me anyway I end up drinking daily. I will go stints without but nothing major theres a major F IT button in my head saying oh its only a drink etc etc its crazy the thinking. Even after hearing @Mj20 and @Hohofortherobbers having a whole month and a bit without alcohol and concluding yes its a no brainer to feel all those feelings without alcohol-their and our lives are better without but I just cant seem to fathom in it my brain. Some days are good some not I have no idea what makes me reach for the alcohol.
regarding the culture @Starlia its similar to Australia such as when I go out with my friends I am expected to drink and get tipsy/drunk etc if I say oh im not drinking people are shocked and upset even! its odd however there are more AF selections everywhere you go even if it is a becks blue, I really dont like AF wine or havent foiund one that is nice. I have a lot of corona zero here not opened just sat there and a nozeco, dont know why I dont reach for that instead!!! Hope everyone else is ok x

I just wanted to pop in and say I had a day from hell at work - nearly 12 hours long and stressful.
I did not reach for wine when I got home, which I would have done in the past. I’m counting that as a win! And will hopefully get a good nights’ sleep as a result.

Well done @Starlia !!! If that was me I would have reached what did you do instead ? Did you have the AF wine ? Well done it's definitely a win!!!!

@Starlia well done you!

Well done @Starlia . It can only get easier now you jumped that hurdle. I'm here and dry, AF sun till now. No plans this weekend so no temptation I hope.

Good evening folks - I'm back from my break. Unfortunately, I drank my body weight in sangria, but never mind.
I'll catch up properly tomorrow but in the meantime, well done @Starlia , brilliant choice. Hi @Manyrivers , you sound determined and motivated to get the af show on the road !
Hi @Determineddoris @Hohofortherobbers @Mj20 @EnoughEnoughnow , apologies if I've missed anyone as per.
My next holiday is 10 weeks away - I really need to get healthier ! ❤️

Can I join? I'm on a couple of other threads but they've gone a bit quiet!

Last drink was just after midnight NYE!

Feeling really good and currently have no desire to drink again. That might change but I feel I've got through a few difficult 'firsts' when I would usually just give in and drink in the past. It feels different this time.

Hi @onelife22 sounds like your doing great, I am only 3 nights in but it's a start! Just been invited to a party in a few weeks time and I've already decided I don't want to drink that night either. It feels good.