On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat.

[Amdone123]

So, January is done and dusted - Praise the Lord. Following on from our last thread ( which was initially designed to help us moderate, but for some has - maybe - led to abstaining, thanks to how great they're feeling ), a new thread has been created.
So, if you're looking to abstain or want to moderate, or just need to chat in general, join us here.
Hallo to previous posters - onwards and upwards.

Hi y'all!!!!!
@mj20 it's here!!!!
I am on a bit of a high as no drink past 2 nights so on my 3rd day AF and yes I'm determined !!! Indie ray hope you are ok! And @Amdone123 sometimes there's no rhyme or reason!!! Just move up and on! Are you planning on drinking on holiday?

@Determineddoris , well done on Day 3, that's great. You're right there's no rhyme or reason ! It's like healthy eating with me ; I can do it, but it starts to dictate my life, which is what I don't want.
Holiday is a strange one. My dsis does drink, but not wine and she's one of those rare breeds who actually drinks less on holiday. She drinks more in The Club at home.
For me, this holiday will be about walking, reading, a bit of sun and spending some time with my dh - it's a busy year so we need to plan a few things ( our 30th wedding anniversary and his 60th).
Famous last words 🤣

Hi all 💖💖💖 I made it!!!
excited for our new thread! Day 33 A/F for me 😵‍💫🥳

Oh wow 30 years! What's the secret? It'll be our 13 year wedding anniversary but 20 together crazy and 60th sounds fun! Don't you think our society as a whole the way the thinking evolved was any party/occasion has to have drink involved???! Every time anything comes up for instance I was talking to my manager and I said oh I don't want to drink this month and she said but we are going out for drinks and dinner on whatever date they've planned I said yeah but I don't need to drink ? She said you are right you don't need alcohol. They are all young free couples or singles with no kids hehe I'm the only one with kid commitments so they're always out and drinking fish bowl martinis but they show me pics and I'm not that jealous I was more jealous of the yummy food they were eating and cake ! I had a very busy day at work no lunch break but then eaten semi healthy and then rushed to collect one kid (they weren't in because of teachers strikes all the other classes in the year were except his class...but they were allowed to go to after school club lol) and he's just been raging since he's tired etc DH has been doing daddy day care but he took them to the pub without me for a pub lunch! But actually I got upset but then I thought but I didn't want to drink anyway and may have been tempted being in that environment so every cloud and all that. Anyway I hope everyone is ok I would try tagging people but may get it wrong but I'll try !
@indie

Oh sorry it didn't work! Sorry to whoever I've tagged! Argh

@Buntyforgirls @Determineddoris @Hohofortherobbers @Mj20 @NitOnePearlOne @indieray @brightspice @TripleTipplePipple @stoppingnow

@Mj20 day 33!!!! Bloody amazing how are you feeling ? My sleep last 2 nights was bad I went to sleep at 1am and up at 6am....

Yo, checking in

Hi, can I join? I followed the thread throughout January. I'm seeking to moderate and my problem is with social drinking. I'm absolutely fine with abstaining or stoppping at one when I'm at home but in certain social situations and with specific friends, I have no off switch. I increasingly can't cope with the crippling hangxiety and towards the end of last year was finding that I was having at least two problematic social drinking nights a month. I can't really get anyone in real life to take it seriously because I'm quite a happy drunk, but it was way, way too much. I read Adrian Chiles' book over Christmas and re-read Professor Nutt's book (I completely agree with his theory that nothing gets better after the second glass) and came up with a plan. I'm keeping under 14 units a week and have a three drink maximum rule. So far, it has worked and I've found that because I'm thinking about it more, I quite often find myself not drinking in situations where I would have done. However, January is not a very sociable month so I'm steeling myself for it to get harder. I'm 50 this year and ideally would like to never be drunk again. It's very early days but I'm cautiously optimistic!

Morning @Nomorethanthree73 , of course you're more than welcome. It sounds like you have a plan, which is great. Also, good that you can stop after a few ( at home ) - at least you know you can stop.
It's hard when you're out. I actually think I'm best bolting the door and staying in as every time I go out, I appear to make an idiot of myself.
I found January hard - it's cold and miserable and I worked hard to keep the depression at bay and not press the feck it button. But then again, I drink at home a lot. Though I did have 26 af days.
Let us know when you're next going out, and we'll all work together and knock up a plan for you.
Incidentally, I'm 55 but it was when I was 50 that I started to reflect more on my drinking. I definitely made changes for the better.

hi @Nomorethanthree73 nice to 'see' you!
I think everything you have said resonates with a lot of us so you are in the right chat! I think you have done wonderful to have stuff to your plan. 3 drinks maximum is brilliant and I am the same when I go out totally overboard and yes with specific friends and no off switch, i hate myself the next day! I have 2 young kids too well theyre growing up now and I don't want them to see mummy tipsy all the time! I know I have some work cut out but I am determined to be a healthier parent. I havent drunk now since sunday which is quite a lot for me as i drink every day! I would like to reward myself tonight as had a tough week but didnt succumb the last 3 nights. My thing is drinking at home drinking out whatever lol so I am trying we all are!

@Nomorethanthree73 i literally could of written your post!!!!!! Welcome to the group 🙂

Hi, can I join in? I really need to moderate my drinking. I’ve had 4 at days this week which is very good for me, not sure how the weekend will go….

Hallo @JustMoved123 , and welcome. 4 af days is great. Well done.
Weekends can be tricky. Will you be going out or staying in ?
Do you want to try an af weekend or just 1 day af?
Sundays are a pain for me. Saturdays I will sometimes be able to have a couple as we go out to eat, but I don't know what it is with Sundays!
Let us know what you'll be doing and we'll give you some ideas to help ?

Hi, hope it's ok to join! I've suspected that I've had an issue with drinking for a while. I never really go on nights out or anything as I have family commitments but me and DH do drink every night and I can easily finish off a bottle of wine to myself. It had become a habit and I used any excuse...I'm stressed, had a bad day, celebrating something etc. I always convinced myself that I didn't have a problem though as I was not drinking at any other time of day.
Anyway a few weeks ago I decided that I really wanted to get in under control because I've got massive health anxiety and I was worried I wouldn't be around for my kids when they grow up if I kept being so unhealthy. So the aim was to cut back and only have a drink at the weekend.

I started on a Monday and by the Wednesday I had come down with a cold that week became quite easy as I never drink if I'm not feeling well. That was almost 3 weeks ago and since then I haven't touched a drop. I kind of just kept going and the more I went the more proud of myself I felt and kept setting myself mini goals like "I'll be really happy if I get to 14 days" "if I can just go two more days I'll be really pleased" etc.

I've had a really stressful two days and I even asked my Dh to buy me a bottle of wine last night which he did. But as soon as he got it home I just thought, oh I'm so close to three weeks why not just wait a bit longer. So for the first time in my life I actually left a bottle unopened in the fridge!

Sorry for the long post but I'm too embarrassed to talk to anyone in real life about this and I really just wanted to share it with someone as I'm feeling really proud of myself. I don't know if it will continue but I really hope that it does. I also don't know if I will abstain forever or if if doing this will just help me to be able to moderate but for now I'm happy with what I'm doing 😊

Morning all!!!
how are you @Amdone123 @Determineddoris @Hohofortherobbers
and welcome to @JustMoved123 and @feelingproud3 - thank you for sharing your success, your doing so well!!!!!

day 34 here…. Can’t quite believe it!!!!
i have been building up to thinking about having a drink this weekend… but have decided will continue to refrain! As much as I’d like one I think I’ve only just completed dry jan and therefore want to give myself a bit more time for this to be my new norm!!!!!

anyway- how is everyone else getting xx

@feelingproud3 , hi and welcome. Of course you can join us - you're doing really well. I do think it's weird how these things creep up on you. By that, I mean, the drinking becoming an issue and also how the af days mount up. Sometimes, and especially when I've had an af weekend, I'll look at my journal and see that I'm on day 10 without even 'trying'.
Keep posting here, no embarrassment or shame.
Also, keep reaping the benefits as I'm sure they're are many.
Hey, share them here if you want - you've then got a record, and we'll all be inspired too !
@Mj20 , day 34 is brilliant. You're smashing it and it's great to here you're not desperate for it to end.
I have a friend who does dry Jan then in February, drinks more than ever ! I don't see his point - he'd be better 'spreading' it out 😒
I'm ok. Well, I've not drank in February 🤣 but I have a feeling that's about to change. I go away Sunday, I'm so cold I can't even motivate myself to pack.

@Amdone123 im really tempted to open one of the posh bottles of wine I was gifted at Xmas….
obv not now 🤣 im off shopping but tonight….. mmmmmmmm!

@Mj20 I can imagine. Hats off to people who have it in their fridges, and don't drink it..I would struggle.
Although I don't think I give myself enough credit sometimes - I've no urge to drink today and if there did happen to be wine in the fridge, I think I'd be able to resist. Though, probably not !
I'm excited about cooking tea, so I'd probably drink then.
Whatever you decide, I would just own it. And enjoy it. Otherwise, there's no point in opening it.

Well @Amdone123 im going to do a little work and then see if I fancy it! I’ll keep you posted! It your right about owning it and enjoying it!

I have already opened a bottle today. Just owning it. Lol

@Determineddoris , 🤣🤣.
I'd actually forgotten it was Friday !! I don't want to drink though today or tomorrow.
Enjoy !

Glad you forgot and also that you don't want to drink ! I don't think I want to drink tomorrow or Sunday but DH will be so let's see...I've stopped short of the bottle which normally I would have caned. Any good thing is good. I can't believe I didn't drink all week tbh first time in ages. Want to try and continue not wanting it every day ...like I said before I'm not going out for that reason that I don't go overboard. Hope everyone else is ok. Well done @Mj20 !!! So proud !!!
Welcome @JustMoved123 and @feelingproud3 !!!! Talk away whenever you like there will always be someone who understands you fully and never judges! X

@Determineddoris @Amdone123 have opened a bottle! It’s divine! Going to enjoy, guilt free as I continue to moderate xxx happy Friday all xxx

Can I join please? I’m drinking less than I did years ago, but still too much and my alcohol free nights have gone out the window. I want to only drink Friday and Saturday nights, and one other night. I want one 500ml bottle of vodka to last those three nights which would be about half of what I’m drinking now. (15 units)