On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat.

[Amdone123]

So, January is done and dusted - Praise the Lord. Following on from our last thread ( which was initially designed to help us moderate, but for some has - maybe - led to abstaining, thanks to how great they're feeling ), a new thread has been created.
So, if you're looking to abstain or want to moderate, or just need to chat in general, join us here.
Hallo to previous posters - onwards and upwards.

@Coppergate3 , yes, Manchester.
I know - my dsis used to be the same but she gave up. It's actually another reason for me to not drink wine. I hate it ! If I smell smoke when sober, I could throw up. Awful.

@Amdone123 Keep going with those small changes. They’re the ones which will make the difference when looking at the bigger picture. I’m going on a 6 week diet tomorrow so I’ll have to be almost totally off the booze.

@Amdone123 @Coppergate3 thank you for the hello.

Had a long walk with DH and the dog this morning and felt able to share some of this.

Have made plans to make changes and think the Annie Grace 30 days is a good place to start. I know her style isn't for everyone but also know she's helped lots of people.

Not ready yet to say that today is day 1

@liz4change , that's good.
I did the Annie Grace experiment. I got a lot from it.

Bugger, I caved. I have had a large glass of wine sitting in the sun with my book 😔

@MumLass , I don't blame you ! It's beautiful out. I did the same yesterday.
You've had a couple of days af, you've made a start, you're trying ! That's all we can do.
Enjoy it !
There's always tomorrow ❤️

Thanks @Amdone123 . I'm going to relax and enjoy my evening, 2 days AF is 1 more than I have managed for some time! After today aiming to stay AF until Friday.

@liz4change hi - it's good you were able to talk to your husband about it. Hoping we can all help each other in our journey to a better relationship with alcohol.

You are so far from worthless, I want to give you a hug. Like you I was (am) drinking too much as a way of escape. My ex-husband was an emotionally abusive narcissist and sexually coercive into the bargain. I finally got the backbone to end it earlier this year. I have always had a tendency to drink too much but at that point it ramped up massively. I know in myself I have dependency, but outwardly I function very well. I am super-organised and have a very demanding, senior management job.

Still, I'm not proud of myself so I want to get it under control. For me and my kids, and also to stop my ex husband having any more of a negative effect on my life than he already has.

Thanks @MumLass

Didn't stay AF yesterday but did have an early night and decent night's sleep and facing into today as day 1. Going to work then to a reception with DH. Reminding myself that at points in the past the key has been to make absolutely sure to say no to the first drink.

I managed 2 days AF then had a bottle of wine yesterday. So annoyed with myself. I slept badly and will not be productive today. Trying to be AF until at least Friday now.

@MumLass , put it behind you now. I know the feeling though. Just get through today. I need to do til Saturday so I'm with you.

@liz4change , day 1 today - a new start.

I was ok yesterday, slight headache but as the day got on, the more down I felt.
I also ate a load of rubbish. I knew what yesterday would be like though as I was the same a few weeks ago.

I didn't drink - so day 2.

Hi everyone, @liz4change well done for wanting to take control and good luck for day 1, it's always tough!
@MumLass you are doing great as you say it's still 1 more Af day then before so you are doing great don't be too annoyed with yourself. I too drank Fri sat and Sunday (last night) enjoyed it at the time then didn't sleep felt down like @Amdone123 too so why I do it to myself I have no idea! BUT I did do AF Mon to Thurs so I've got that under my belt and I'm proud of myself and again I'm going to do Mon-Thurs I hope I don't cave I'm not feeling it all although I am smoking way more which is ridiculous as I'm swopping one for another but I see it as at least I can smoke and drive! I actually hate the smell etc but it's keeping me AF for now so whatever works for everyone !!!

I went for an impromptu meal out with DH last night and it drummed home a these things: I prefer moderating to what I used to do (last night I had a single G&T and half a bottle of wine before swapping to water - I would have at least double that before). I drink because I am bored/procrastinating - really want to make better use of my evenings. I procrastinate over that though, feels like self sabotage but really it is probably just a habit shift and that will take effort.

This weekend I also had a good think about what I enjoy and don't enjoy. I don't enjoy the things I feel like I really need to have a drink for - sitting around for hours, dinner parties, parties in general. I sound really unsociable I know but I really enjoy time spent with other people but it either needs to be impromptu (so chat with a neighbour can be 1 minute or 1.5 hours depending on how the conversation is flowing) or activity based. I want to DO things with people if planned. I'm also saying goodbye to a friendship - not in a dramatic way, but after 5 years or re-evaluating and downshifting it still feels draining and unhealthy. Maya Angelou was right again 'When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time'. I think I did believe it but I also thought I could compartmentalise it, adjust expectations to match and it would be ok. I've realised just how much it drains me and has done for years.

Well done for not drinking yesterday @Amdone123 , despite those feelings. Hope you're feeling better today?

Goodluck @MumLass ! Been there so many times - all we can do is keep trying. Somethings I think I need to same lesson a hundred times before it sinks in. My piano teacher would probably agree with that too!

Hope this evening goes well for you too @liz4change !

@Coppergate3 , you're so like me ! Thinking about what you enjoy - don't, etc !
I woke up this morning, no alcohol today planned.
Oops, supermarket shop with dsis - longgg walk, long talk. I've had 2 bottles.
Good news - got the job !
Bad news - call from colleague who is, understandably, gutted I'm leaving ( not surprised - I 'carry' her)
Quite vile and I'm feeling crap because I should have told her my plans ? !?
I've since received an apology via wats app, but still sad 😢

Hey everyone I’ve been following and keeping up with everyone’s ups and downs. I’ve mostly been sticking to plan. I drank a bottle of cava on Saturday but I’d don’t mind because that is what I had planned and that is what I had. Current motivation is weight loss and that is going quite well so it’s a positive feedback loop.

I agree with others - it’s so easy to fall into drinking everyday and having every excuse - I don’t drink in the mornings was always my justification for thinking I didn’t have a problem. I’m not complacent either, I can fall back to my old drinking very easily - I’ve done it so many times before.

welcome newbies. Please do stick around even if you’re not managing to moderate or abstain yet - thinking about it is the first step and this is a safe space with no judgement. Thanks as everyone to @Amdone123 and all the rest of you.

Hello all and thank you again. I didn't stay AF last night but did stay mindful and moderate. It was a corporate reception where typically I wouldn't even bother tracking how much I'd had because your glass keeps being refilled.

Talked through where I'm at with a friend - he constantly watches how much he drinks, partly because of his own issues and partly because his father died young of the effects of alcoholism.

I'll check in later

How are we all today? I stayed AF yesterday, long day of work to keep me busy today so confident I won't drink this evening.

hi @Bigbus - sounds like you are doing really well.

I'm ok.
I've been a bit wild because of the weather. Any excuse, but I'm af now til Saturday and even then, I'm going to have to moderate as I've got my granddaughter.
My Not Drinking At Home plan has fallen by the wayside, again due to the weather 😩

PS I use drinkaware to track my units. My total in the last 7 days is 19.75. I'm usually around 30 so I'm chuffed!

I know what you mean, the weather was what did it for me on Sunday. Never mind, it's a new day. Sounds like most of us slipped at the weekend but are back on track for the week ahead.

@MumLass , that's great progress - well done.
Yes, we're not alone regarding the weather and drinking.
The problem in this country is you never know when you might see that big, yellow thing again.

Morning, folks, how are we all ?
I was a bit delicate yesterday but I've put the wild weekend out of my mind now, and I'm carrying on doing my best.
I slept brilliantly but I'm still annoyed by the work situation.
Today will possibly be awkward but one thing I know I won't do is drink my emotions. I'm leaving soon.
Other than that, I'm up with the lark, 2 washes out, tea prepared, etc. Lots of positive energy so all good.
@Bigbus @Coppergate3 @Determineddoris @EnoughEnoughnow @GadgetArms @Manyrivers @MumLass @Nomorethanthree73 @Orlakeepsmiling @Starlia @Steppered @Swannyb @YouknoweverythingJonSnow @indieray , hope you're all ok.
Usual apologies to anyone missed.

We should have a new thread but I'm not sure how it should be worded / our main focus.
I'm thinking something to do with Summer on its way !
Any ideas ? 😎

Failed last night, 3 glasses of wine :(