On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat.

[Amdone123]

So, January is done and dusted - Praise the Lord. Following on from our last thread ( which was initially designed to help us moderate, but for some has - maybe - led to abstaining, thanks to how great they're feeling ), a new thread has been created.
So, if you're looking to abstain or want to moderate, or just need to chat in general, join us here.
Hallo to previous posters - onwards and upwards.

Hi @onelife22 , of course you can join - it sounds like I need you ! You're doing really well. Those firsts are difficult so all power to you. Interesting that it feels different this time and that you have no desire to drink again.
Can I ask for some tips ? 😏
@Manyrivers , 3 nights in is brilliant, keep going. I'm only day 2, since I've been away, but actually speaking of 'firsts', I had a long ish day travelling yesterday and didn't drink wine on the plane ( I was a bit delicate but still ! ). Yay, my First First.
I'm really determined to get the next 20 days af. Then end of February, I'll reevaluate.

Hello all!!!
just catching up on the thread after a busy week!!!! Great reading everyone’s progress- because we are all making progress!!!!!!

so it’s a week alcohol free for me after my 34 day streak…. But 2 drinks In 40 plus days feels like a real achievement tbh!!!!
not tempted to drink…. Having a take away tonight and that feels like a real treat!!!

@Amdone123 welcome home!!!! Hope you enjoyed your holiday and lots of lovely sangria sounds great!!!! How are you @Hohofortherobbers and @Determineddoris

just read about your hard day @Starlia… and you resisting temptation! That’s an excellent achievement!!!! Go you!!! Welcome @onelife22 sounds like you’re doing amazingly and the more the merrrier on the thread- so welcome!!!! @Manyrivers your also doing great!!!!! Hope I’ve got everyone there….

anyway what are everyone’s weekend plans! Hope your all good

Looking forward to a relaxing Friday evening without wine, looking forward to a fresh Saturday morning without a hangover! No matter what stress work throws at me today, I am focused on tonight, I will not drink alcohol. Friday after work wine has been a heavy habit for many years. Finally I feel ready to break it.

Morning @Mj20 , lovely, motivating post ! Had a great time thanks. Weighing myself today - yikes.
But I do feel very motivated to get healthier and not drink. I know that's partly because I've been on it, but I can always feel it when I'm determined.
@Manyrivers , yes, I'm the same regarding the things you're looking forward to this weekend. Even though I struggle with my alcohol intake, af weekends are brilliant and when I do them, I really reap the benefits.
You can do it.

We can all do this together ❤️ so glad I joined this thread, all your kind words of encouragement are exactly what I need to keep me on track, motivated and accountable. It feels very positive to have the outlook of, "I'm moderating, reducing and pulling back on alcohol". Something feels different!

Welcome! Congratulations on what you’ve achieved so far, you’re amazing.
I have found that the less I drink, the less I want to drink. This does make me sound a bit thick I realise 😊 but these simple realisations really do propel us forward to achieving our goals.
Thanks for the encouraging words everyone else, I really am feeling a lot better! It’s worth it honestly.

@Starlia , I find that. The less I drink, the less I think about it. And the less I 'need' it.

So strange that I was so motivated this morning to do the next 20 days and yet I had to nip into the supermarket after a couple of hours at work, and I was so tempted to pick up wine. I'd actually resigned myself to it, but thought of you lot 🤣.
I honestly stopped in the supermarket aisle and thought about it - I don't even want to drink, yet I was so close.
I didn't buy any, but it's just so weird - that feck it button.
Jeez - the Struggle Is Real.
I'm drinking vimto 😇,
I'm so pleased we talked about an af weekend @Manyrivers - I actually thought about that in the wine aisle.

Thanks everyone 🥰

@Amdone123 usually when I do dry January I replace wine with sugar/crap and don't ever really feel the benefits of it so give up. I have some weight to lose following 2 pregnancies close together and have been working out and eating well too. I think this has helped me see and feel the benefits more.

I've also been finding I have more time (motivation & energy) to get up early on weekends to do my hobby.

Morning, folks !
Hope we're all feeling good this Saturday morning. I'm feeling refreshed even though I was up at 5am ish. And proud that I dodged a bullet in the supermarket !
After tea last night, I sat in bed watching films. I've only recently started watching films ( prefer to read), but it was a lovely evening. I only drank juice, no snacks ( I'm not a snacker, really).
I realised this morning that I've got a new habit - sitting in bed, watching films, drinking juice, no junk.
It's much better than how I used to spend Friday night ( drinking, smoking!).
And.....day 3.....and Just For Today....I won't drink.

Good Morning! @Determineddoris @EnoughEnoughnow @Hohofortherobbers @JustMoved123 @Mj20 @Starlia @onelife22 and anyone else on the thread!

Sounds great @Amdone123 I had a great sleep last night after a busy week and feel refreshed rather than the wine grogg!

Ok folks I have a dilemma this evening. I have friends coming over, (last minute plans) and both a big wine drinkers. I really do not favour the thought of getting drunk. So I've been thinking moderation is the way to go tonight. I really feel empowered and my plan is to limit myself at 3 glasses of weak spritzer.

Any thoughts or advice welcome

@Manyrivers ,morning!
I think if you're feeling positive and empowered and you think you'll be ok with the 3 weak spritzers, then I would do that.
Are you cooking or is it just drinks ?
I would make sure I ate, because I often forget.
I would also have lots of sparkling water around to drink whilst you're chatting.
I have had occasions like this and I've found them to be actually more enjoyable than had I been drinking.
I'm also super proud of myself the next day, instead of feeling anxious, hungover, etc
You've got this !

I will be cooking @Amdone123 . I really think I will be fine doing this as I feel a controlled want to do it, if that makes sense. I feel more clarity around why I want to make these choices than ever before. Having people to share this with is giving me strength and keeping me accountable. I will share my experience with everyone here tomorrow good or bad! Thanks so much for your encouragement.

@Manyrivers i find it’s the pre planning that helps in these situs! Helps keep us on track! You’ve got this xx

@Manyrivers how did you go? Hope you managed to have a fun evening and not get too carried away 😊
but if it didn’t go to plan, that’s ok too. Sometimes a wobble is what we need to strengthen our resolve going forward.
My plan of attack when I’m with big drinkers is to buy/bring low alcohol wine. That way I’m ‘joining in’ but much harder to write myself off.

I had a few drinks on Friday night and my tolerance has gone WAY down. I mean, that’s a positive sign I think? I found that after two drinks I felt like I would have after four or five, and also found the next day I had a bit of a hangover feeling. It all contributes to the steady reduction in how much I drink. Feeling very positive heading into another AF work week!
hope everyone is doing well. @Amdone123 i get the sudden weird urge to buy! Where I live we can’t buy alcohol at supermarkets so that is actually helping me but I will admit to walking past bottle shops during the week and feeling that surge of temptation. What I use to combat that feeling is the reminder that on AF nights I sleep so much better and feel much sharper at work the next day. I have quite a senior role and this is working for me motivation wise. One of the things I noticed at work when I was drinking every night, was how I was struggling much more at work. It wasn’t a pleasant realisation as I was drinking as a stress relief - but getting lots of sleep is a much better stress relief!

@Starlia , morning !
It's definitely a positive that your tolerance has gone down. I can't see that happening with me ! The only time that happened to me was when I lost 2 stone - I'm actually on a mission at the moment to lose weight, so fingers crossed 🤞.
I'm on day 4 here and oh my, I have been sleeping so much better. Obviously awake now ( 5.30am here), but that's fine. Improved sleep is definitely an incentive for me.
When I drink, not only am I awake from 2am, but I'm so rough all day. Not worth it.
Also, I have a couple of family problems and I'm finding that not drinking is helping me so much. I'm able to put it all into better perspective and cope better.
Great to hear you're more productive at work. That's brilliant 👏

Hey everyone I hope you are all well. Sounds like you are all doing pretty damn good! Welcome to the newbies too ! How did the night go @Manyrivers ? @Amdone123 and @Mj20 as usual some great advice there. I was also determined to lose some weight as the stint I had no drinking last week helped me lose a tiny bit but then of course I was back on it..I haven't been able to post as been quite busy too and some stresses which instead of combating it without drink and more sleep it's with drink but what you said about tolerance @Starlia is spot on I also used to neck at least bottle bottle and a half but havent been these days I am conscious of what I am doing in a way. For instance we went for a big lunch yesterday (bit too expensive tbh) and we shared a bottle of wine and I had a lot of water but at the end I asked for a coffee and dessert but the guy said oh look you can get a cocktail I said ok then and he said oh well it didn't take much convincing did it and I was feeling a bit meh and I couldn't have the cocktail in the end! Waste of money but doesn't matter. Then we got home and I just stayed upstairs as I knew DH would be opening more wine and he did but I didn't want any! In the end tho I had one glass so that's a result as I wouldn't necked everything too ! So small positives not as much as I would like as I haven't really had an AF streak. Sorry to hear about your family stress @Amdone123 you are amazing how good you are doing and I'm glad you enjoyed the holidays. How are you @Mj20 ? And @Hohofortherobbers @EnoughEnoughnow and anyone else I've missed xxx

Happy Sunday all!!!!!!
just waking up after the nicest sleep, as @Amdone123 and @Starlia have said… it really is the decent sleep and hangover free mornings that make this all worth while!!!!!! I just love not losing any time or wellness to drinking!!!!!!! It’s interesting how we are all on a bit of weight loss journey… for me it’s not just the empty cals but I’m not snacking loads when drunk!!!! Obv because I’m not drunk lol!!! Win win!!!!! I’m not on 6 pounds… which I felt a bit disheartened by but then I remembered that’s a pound a week which is my aim…. Slow and steady!!!!!

@Starlia your msg to @Manyrivers was so lovely and it just reminded me how much I love this little group we’ve got!!! The support is amazing!!! And @Manyrivers hope it went ok!! @Amdone123 im sorry about the family stuff, my extended family are a bit of a nightmare… and I totally agree being alchol free allows me a clearer perspective on it but also a more measured and reasoned reaction!!!! @Determineddoris your mindset has shifted so much…. You’re moderating so well!!!! You should be proud of yourself!!!

how are you @Hohofortherobbers?
and apologies to anyone I’ve missed!!! We are growing!!!!!!

have a great day all, here’s to another positive week whether that’s alchol free or m ring mindful!!!!!
xxxx

Hello please can I join. I’d really like to cut down the number of days I drink. After two very embarrassing nights last year when I was really far tooo drunk (im far to old for that behaviour) and it nearly led to trouble I have managed to cut down a bit on the amount I drink on big occasions - if I stick to a total equivalent of one bottle of wine over the night that’s ok. However, I’m struggling with drinking most nights - just a couple of glasses usually but it’s getting close to every night again and there’s always the risk that a couple of glasses becomes a bottle!

I totally agree with the pp who said that there’s no benefit after two drinks. Also I know I feel so much better the next morning if I’ve been af the night before. The thing is, drinking has been a massive part of my life for so long. It’s a hard habit to break!

I’m hoping to cut down to drinking three nights a week and see how it goes. I’m going to try alcohol free beers and wines too.

First challenge is a birthday meal out this evening!

@Bigbus , hi and welcome.
I hear you on the embarrassing incidents. I've had a few of those ( I'm far too old for that behaviour, too. Not that any age is acceptable). My last one, which to be fair to me, was quite a while ago ( 18 months about). It involved my precious granddaughter and you would think it would have been my rock bottom. It stopped me for a while, but not completely.
Also, yes - the way it creeps up is astounding.
When you say 3 nights a week, do you mean 1 bottle a night, or it's then you'll try af wine / beer?
Let us know and we can help.
Is it your birthday or someone else's?
Do you have a plan for tonight?
And, are you working tomorrow?
Hallo everyone else !
@Manyrivers , how did you get on ?

I'm doing ok, can't say I'm struggling that much but early days and all that, and I must remember to tell my dh not to buy me wine on Tuesday (he's an old romantic) as I'm really trying for 20 days.

@Amdone123 thanks for the welcome! The three nights a week I mean that I will only drink on three nights a week but will stick to maximum of two drinks on those nights. The bottle of wine is for special occasions and times I have chosen to drink a bit more. I hope that makes sense! I’m not working tomorrow but I do have a family day out planned that won’t be fun with a hangover (also I have to drive so that will definitely limit me!).

I work three days a week and don’t tend to drink the night before work so that limits me (although I’ve noticed that I’ll start to say ‘one drink won’t do any harm’ etc). I would like to limit the drinking to Friday, Saturday and one other night.

I hope everyone has a great day!

Thanks all!

Good Morning Everyone, and welcome @Bigbus Last night went well, not a precisely as I planned but well enough!

Here's what want well:
I was conscious of what I was drinking
I drank spritzer not full glasses of wine
I didn't carry on drinking when everyone left
I don't feel hungover today
I'm in a better place than last Sunday where i was ill from over drinking the night before.

It could have been even better if:
I stuck to the 3 drink plan (I had a fruity cider in addition!)
I stuck to soft drinks, as I'm really questioning how much I'm enjoying alcohol!

@Amdone123 @Mj20 @Starlia thanks for your help and support!

@Manyrivers , wow ! That sounds like a resounding success !!
Absolutely brilliant, well done.
( Also, I'm loving your synopsis - I think we were separated at birth 🤣).

So here's the other side of making sensible alcohol choices. Today I have exercised, I've taken my nephew for ice cream and spent some time with him at the beach, looking over the water and being present. Gosh that felt good! This is what I need to hold on to when the temptation kicks in. I've wasted so many weekends in bed hungover and neglecting my family life.

That's brilliant.
I was thinking similar not long ago - all those days wasted, feeling too ill to move.
Not that I've done much today, but the thought's been there 😏