On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat.

[Amdone123]

So, January is done and dusted - Praise the Lord. Following on from our last thread ( which was initially designed to help us moderate, but for some has - maybe - led to abstaining, thanks to how great they're feeling ), a new thread has been created.
So, if you're looking to abstain or want to moderate, or just need to chat in general, join us here.
Hallo to previous posters - onwards and upwards.

Haha see my dad drank a lot but we were never allowed as kids and my mum never drank either. My dad definitely had alcoholic tendencies though which I look back and see. I was not allowed to go out at night nothing (culture too) so when I went to uni to start a degree I didn't even want to do it was to get out and go absolutely mental. But black out mental. Friends slowly edging away because of drunk Doris mental. Needless to say didn't bother finishing that first year and came back home. Commuted from home to central London for 2 years to do something else and have done well in that term since I'm lucky I guess but home ground me. Anyway I'm waffling sorry. Really don't want to drink tonight.

You're not waffling 🤣. I think it's important to look at backgrounds and growing up.
My mum = drank a lot = very, very funny
My dad = teetotal = pretty miserable

It's great you don't want to drink. I think if you drive, there's no going back and you can eat, still have fun, get that good night's sleep you need and no hangover tomorrow.
Christ, I now sound like me mother.

Sorry, the works night is tomorrow....I forgot its Thursday...duh.

It's ok! And no harm in sounding like your mother it's all sensible advice !! I like the fact that you associate drinking with having fun though I used to but nowadays I have no idea why I bother.. interesting your dad was tee total and miserable!

Yeah, I think growing up I equated it with fun. Now, like you, not so much.
My dad was really intelligent, a linguist, a bookworm - I'm all that, too 🤣
But you know what it's like when you're young - you can't see the wood for the trees.

Yes indeed, I just think how much damage I did to my body when I was younger, liver, lungs, heart etc I smoked constantly for about 20 plus years , drank for the same etc I don't know when I started thinking I had a problem but it was when the children were much much younger. I remember going to a midwife with my then 6 month old saying I'm wanting to drink earlier and earlier and I have PND she said oh most mum's do don't worry. That's why there's all that mummy wine o'clock time and BS basically I'm definitely going to drive tomorrow as actually it will be better!

Hello everyone, just thought I'd give an update on my work trip. I did not manage to abstain but I did manage to moderate. Had 3 glasses of wine last night, this is still a reduction to my normal work trip drinking, albeit not the AF free evening I'd aimed for.

Coming home my habit is to stop at the off licence for a bottle of wine. I am now home and despite having to stop off for a few groceries, I did not have the urge to buy wine. I am now looking forward to an AF evening and a good night's sleep in my own bed!

I still need to work on being AF when travelling, but hey I've shown progress this week.

Well done @Manyrivers !!! That's really good you managed to moderate! And the fact you didn't pick up wine! I'm finding it really hard not to open wine fridge but DH is here so he may not 'let' me anyway! Well done again super you!

@Manyrivers , that's really good. I'd call that a success - again ! I should imagine after a work trip, the urge to buy it and get home and chill, would be quite high, so again, you've done really well. @Determineddoris , I'd need a lock on that wine fridge !

Hello. Can I come back? (I was upthread a bit) My plan was to only drink three nights a week. I haven’t been able to stick to that until now, though I’ve definitely cut down in terms of quantity.

I’ve just managed two alcohol free nights and did some studying instead of sitting around watching Netflix so feeling motivated again. My weight is going down again so really going to give it a go. I just hurt my back and couldn’t exercise so everything went pear shaped for a bit….

@EnoughEnoughnow @Determineddoris @Amdone123 It's not easy but isn't it weird how we seem to blend 2 habits together. Your right when you say I associate my return home from a trip with a "reward" of a bottle of wine which i know will make me feel s!*t in the morning. The weekend will be upon us shortly and I hope we can all achieve at least one of our goals we set. I'm tempted to aim for an AF weekend but think it's more wise that I set an intention daily. I won't drink Sunday, rarely do now, I'm not sure about Friday and Saturday but if I could do an AF weekend I'd be well chuffed!

@Manyrivers Ive just been writing in my diary about my love/hate relationship with alcohol. When I come home from work I like to pour a drink as it signals the end of the working day and i don’t have to do anything.

And then I find some evenings that I’m completely bored because I’m not doing anything! One of my motivations for moderating is so that I have more productive time in the evenings. It’s difficult as my partner drinks every night.

Even this week, as I was heading for my second AF night a little voice was whispering in my head that I’d already had an AF night, and one drink wouldn’t hurt. It’s insidious!!!

@EnoughEnoughnow I can relate. I love to exercise but often choose drinking over exercise, knowing one makes me feel great the other makes me feel bad! Madness. I need to lose weight yet blissfully ignored all the extra calories I've consumed in alcohol. I complain about not having down time yet repeatedly whittle away precious hours in the evening drinking wine and not doing much else.

I'm hoping by being honest on this thread it will increase my awareness and accountability.

@EnoughEnoughnow , hi, nice to 'see' you again. Course you can come back, just keep posting and trying and we'll help as best we can. Gosh it must be hard when your partner drinks. I don't know how I'd manage that.
@Manyrivers , af weekends are great. I enjoyed last weekend but obviously I didn't go out. And by that, I mean, even a walk !
This weekend I'm out Saturday, so will probably drink with my meal but my goal will be to not bring any home. Next week I'm away Thursday and Friday on a road trip , but I'll do Saturday and Sunday af with you if you like ?
Day 9 tomorrow ( with a blip) and also weigh in day - see if I've lost any weight. I probably have as I always do when I don't drink 🤞

Hello all. It’s really interesting to read everyone else’s experiences and I can definitely relate to a lot of it. For example, I work Mon-Wed so I always want to have a drink on Wed to celebrate the ‘end’ of the week. Even if I don’t really want it I’ll have it anyway. It’s mad!

I haven’t really managed the only three days drinking but I’ve cut down massively. I’ve had one glass of wine tonight and had my eye on a second glass but didn’t have it. This is all great progress for me!

Good Morning Everyone,

@Amdone123 your really inspiring me to do an AF weekend. My intention is remain AF tonight. Next weekend I'd be happy to join you on an AF one as well, I'm visiting my sister whose not a big drinker, so that should help me.

@Bigbus well done for cutting back your intake. It's lovely to read all the self improvement that is happening on this thread. For me it's the first time in 18 years I've really opened up about my issues with Alcohol, it feels really refreshing.

@Bigbus , that's great not reaching for the 2nd glass. That's my #drinking goals ! Well done for cutting back.
I do that on a Wednesday too. But I do usually want it. Or at least my brain tells me I want it.
Probably the latter..

Hi everyone i would like to join in. Im pre-diabetic and got problems with my knees, legs and back and i know drinking too much wont help any of this. Also overweight - so im hoping if i can significantly cut back on wine it can only help!

over the past year i have managed to cut back to drinking 3/4 days only - but have the odd slip up! Especially around christmas!

i last had 3 large glasses of wine on wednesday 15 th feb and had a shit nights sleep - so am going to try and be af for as long as possible to see how i get on.

@bilbodog , hi and welcome.
It's good that you've managed to cut back already. Did you do this on your own ?
I know what you mean about the rubbish sleep. It's so nice to wake up and feel refreshed. So many benefits to not drinking, but I think a good night's sleep is top of the list on this thread !
What are you aiming for, drinkwise ?
Can you have say, 1 glass and stop, or are you best not starting?

Afternoon , folks, hope we're all OK.
Day 9 here ( with my blip) ; I slept so well last night. Just walked 12k so tired now !
I didn't get to weigh myself but never mind.
What are our plans for weekend, drinkwise?
If I can just have 2 glasses tomorrow max, then nothing Sunday, I'll class that as a success.

@Amdone123
hi, thanks for reading my post. DH and i decided last year to cut back and most of the time weve done so but he drinks more than me. My back and legs have been causing me problems for about 18 months now and im starting to have trouble walking up stairs so know i need to loose some weight.
ive been drinking too much for 30 years now so i know it is catching up with me - im 66 now but walking like a 96 year old!

Awh, that sounds hard @bilbodog , but at least cutting back on the wine, will definitely help you lose weight.
I eat healthily overall. But when I drink, even 2 bottles a week ( which is a massive improvement on what I once did), it's still a lot of calories, but the day after !! Oh my, I eat so much.
Anyway, keep posting, let us know your plans and we'll help you. It's not easy, but it's good to have people to do it with you.

Day 49 today. I put a bottle of wine in the fridge last night, left it there a bit and talked myself out of it.

I have an early exercise class this morning and feel exhausted so very glad I didn't add to that feeling with wine last night.

Going to move the wine to a fridge I don't use very often so it's not tempting me every time I open it...

Morning @onelife22 49 days is truly amazing big congrats to you! I too am about to go exercise this morning and it feels great to be doing it without any sort of hangover. Your showing great strength, talking yourself out of drinking that wine. Have a great day everyone

@onelife22 , 49 days is brilliant. Well done.
In the past when I've been abstaining and unexpectedly been given a bottle of wine, I've either taken it to my sister's house or just given it away. I couldn't have it in the house !
I'm on day 10 but I am going out today. I've been sleeping so well though and my skin is so clear, that I'm actually thinking the temptation to drink won't be that strong.
Similarly, I'm going on a road trip next week with a friend who I've only ever drank loads with, and already I'm thinking of ways to avoid the usual state I get into.
I don't think I can cope / want those hangovers anymore.