On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat.

[Amdone123]

So, January is done and dusted - Praise the Lord. Following on from our last thread ( which was initially designed to help us moderate, but for some has - maybe - led to abstaining, thanks to how great they're feeling ), a new thread has been created.
So, if you're looking to abstain or want to moderate, or just need to chat in general, join us here.
Hallo to previous posters - onwards and upwards.

Hi all
How is everyone? I did set
Myself up for one night a week drinking. But over the last two weekends I've found myself
Drinking two nights on a weekend which I felt
Really guilty about ! But I've decided these rules
I've been putting myself under
I'm setting myself for failure!
I've decided To allow myself two nights a week max only Ona weekend! And if I only drink One
Night a week then that's a bonus!

How's everyone's drinking been ?
Thanks xx

Hi @indieray , I was wondering how you were doing.
I think your new plan is less pressure. Nothing worst than guilt. Just see how you go with that plan, and be kind to yourself.
I'm doing OK.
I just realised I got through the weekend af. It probably helped that I haven't been out 🤣
Still, one day at a time.

Good Morning Everyone, another fresh week to aim for our goals. Mine is to have an AF week, starting with today. Work will be stressful and I will no doubt be tired when i get home, however I'm really committed to not drinking tonight.

Good luck with your goals this week

Hi @Manyrivers love the mindset. I didn't have a very good day yesterday in terms of drinking ..was very messy that I felt like being sick all night I definitely do not want to feel like that this week. I have the kids as it's half term so actually more likely to drink but I'm determined!

Also @indieray I think you have done really well actually so don't feel guilty ! Better than drinking 2 bottles of wine a day!

Morning, all.
@Manyrivers yes, here's to another week at doing our best to moderate / abstain.
@Determineddoris I don't have school age children but when my granddaughter and my great nieces visit over half term, I always want to drink. Not through stress / boredom, usually because we have little parties ! They're all mad as a box of frogs, and we have such a laugh that I always want to drink.
Maybe just get through today and see how you go.....you can do it. One day at a time.
I'm on day 5 of my 20 day target. That soon crept up. I think yesterday I had a fleeting thought to drink, but I batted it away.
I should be OK today - it's tomorrow and Wednesday that I know will be difficult, because I'm working, I'll be on a high, I'll have laughed a lot, I'll probably pop to the supermarket......Still, forearmed is forewarned and all that.
Definitely feel good this morning. I've slept so well, skin is good ( slight tan ) and my healthy eating plan ( to lose a stone in 10 weeks) is on track because I've not drank.
Have a great day, folks.

Well done on day 5 out of your 20 @Amdone123 you should be proud of yourself !
I don't know why we do it to ourselves sometimes honestly like it's all I'm not going to drink this week and then it hits 5pm and I'm like oh one won't hurt kinda of thing as pp has mentioned up thread. But after what I felt like last night it was horrible I am determined not to do it at least tonight fingers crossed!!!! There was a thread in active about what do you say to people that you don't drink and a lot of people said if they have a problem with you not drinking they're not worth knowing but a couple of my good friends I do feel I need to justify it a lot like when I gave up for a good few months last year everyone was like go on have one when we were out it took a lot and I got bored of their tipsyness. Lol and that's happened the other day as well as I didn't enjoy myself because of the company. I am pretty good in my own company though so that's good! I don't often have FOMO. I've been asked to arrange a pub dinner for some work lot now on Friday and I feel like I should be drinking then ! Argh

@Determineddoris , I know what you mean. I haven't read that thread - I'll have a look.
I was thinking that next week it's half term, and 1 of my teacher friends suggested meeting up. Now, it doesn't matter what anyone says, no way on gods green earth , would we not drink together.
I have other ex teacher friends though, with whom I would be able to not drink, mainly because they don't.
It's strange!
Thanks, yes, I am pleased with myself but I'm tempted today. I think it's because I've done and, I am doing, my best to put the family issue out of my mind, but it's still bothering me.
Anyway, I'm not caving. The issue will still be there, and I'll be annoyed with myself.
I hear you regarding 5pm - just try to get through tonight. You'll feel miles better tomorrow.

Also...@Determineddoris , don't worry about Friday pub dinner today.

Af today (so far!). Actually it will be ok today because I am working tomorrow. It’s the first day in about 6 days that I haven’t had a drink. Thinking of going to bed now to pass the time!

Well done @Bigbus I too am AF tonight. I bought myself an adult colouring book (I'm not arty but I heard they are good for relaxation). Have just passed away an hour colouring, great distraction.

Good Morning Everyone,
@Determineddoris I hope you had a better night last night. @Amdone123 I understand your post re work/social drinking. I'm travelling this week for work which usually results in an after work drink (or 2), a nice dinner with wine followed by 3 nightcap caps! That will be my challenge this week. It would be great to wake up in my hotel room feeling fresh and not worrying about going into the office in the morning with alcohol breath!

My intention for tonight (at home) is not to drink.

Morning !
@Manyrivers , I think you can achieve the work challenge. Look what you did the other night when you had friends over. I know it's not easy but if you have a plan in your head ( and become almost stubborn about it - no, I'm staying sober), and play it forward ( to wake up in your hotel room feeling refreshed will be amazing). You can do it. @Determineddoris , how did you get on? @Bigbus hope you enjoyed your early night !

All good here, though so cold. Its actually more hot chocolate weather than chilled wine, so that helps !
Day 6 and Just For Today, I Won't Drink.

@Bigbus and @Manyrivers the power of distraction is real! Hope going to bed/colouring has helped settle the evening. I have grown fond of going to bed early and getting some really good sleep!
I had another win tonight - my husband drank wine and I stuck to my AF wine. Normally as soon as he cracks open the alcohol, I use the excuse to start drinking myself. But not tonight! And I'm really proud of that. Keep going ladies, you are doing amazingly well!

Also @Amdone123 it is freaking hot here and on occasion I do think about an icy cold rose after work!

Evening, all. How are we all doing?
Happy valentines day ❤️.
I asked my dh to not buy me wine or anything really as we've just been away, I don't need anything etc.
Anyway, he got me a lovely card, a bunch of roses and.....a bottle of wine.
I'm safe though because its only 9% ( he said he got this volume deliberately because I'm cutting down). It's funny though because I would never drink 9% wine - I've put it in the fridge and told him I'm going to save it for weekend 🤣
Bless him.
I did have a thought at work that I would like to drink this evening - I made a fish curry and imagined a wine would accompany it very well - but I batted the thought away.
Day 7 tomorrow and it's not been too bad really.
Posting here is helping me lots.

Good evening everyone. I'm sticking to my AF night, relaxing before I need to travel tomorrow for work. @Amdone123 I find not having wine with certain foods a struggle, especially pasta or curry, well done for avoiding that trigger!

@Starlia another show of strength by having someone else drink wine at home and you resist, massive achievement in my book.

I'm struggling in my head to imagine not drinking tomorrow evening but great advice about playing it forward, will try to keep repeating that in my brain!

Day 45 here. Almost gave in tonight, if my takeaway wouldn't have taken so long I think I would have had a drink.

DH didn't buy me wine like he usually does which helped.

Seen this quote and thought of this thread

"If you quit now you will be back to where you first began, and when you first began you were desperate to be where you are now"

Have a great day everyone.

@Manyrivers , that quote is so apt. I'm going to write it out and keep it on me. Thanks for posting that. Well done for staying af before the trip.
I know what you mean about struggling with the work /drink scenario. It won't be easy because it's probably something you've always done, but I think you can do it - order af drinks and look forward to that good sleep.
@onelife22 , well done on Day 45, that's brilliant. Hunger is a trigger for me. I was so glad my dh didn't buy me wine ( that I liked !), because I would have opened it when cooking. I'd have drank it all ( probably), the fish curry would have been left untouched.
Thank God for crap wine 🤣

Day 7 here and I know today will be difficult. My favourite day at work when I clean all the doctors surgeries and the immense satisfaction gives me such a high / feeling of happiness, I start to think of my 'friend'.

I'm going to leave my purse at home. I only need my keys, anyway.

Morning, all, how are we all doing ?
Mixed day for me yesterday. I ended up taking my purse to work because I needed some food bits. On the way home from work, I was so tempted. So, so tempted. Walked past the shop, gave myself a pat on the back. But when I got in, I wished I did have a drink - cooking again.
Anyway, I opened the 9% bottle - beggars can't be choosers.
It was quite pleasant. It took me 4 hours to drink, I'm actually wondering if this volume is the way forward for me.
I didn't want a cigarette with it, I didn't want another bottle ( 1 of my usual bottles is never enough - I always buy 2), and I don't have a hangover.
I'm classing yesterday as a success, so I'm on day 8, 'with a blip'.

Very quick message to say I'm not doing very well tbh had a really really bad day yesterday in terms of I drank two bottles through out the day and evening. What the hell is wrong with me??? Well done to you @Amdone123 amazing maybe I should try lower percentage bottles too. I was busy so busy but still got distracted by the wine calling out to me. I ate so much too no snacks left in the house...I made dinner but didn't eat it. Ridiculous. DH at home today so makes it easier to not drink....as I can't exactly open one in front of him at midday...I think my trigger yesterday was I had a row with my child and he made us really late for an appointment and activity and then I had to leave them there for a few hours and I was really upset. I don't know but this morning I am quite low (haven't slept well for a few days plus alcohol it's a no brainer why I'm feeling down!)
Thanks for the quote @Manyrivers I didn't read it until just now so I will keep trying. Hope everyone else is doing ok! X

@Determineddoris , sounds like a tough day. Try to put it behind you - I know that's easier said than done. Arguments with our children are the pits - no wonder you were upset.
You sound like you really need a good night's sleep, I hope this happens tonight for you. ❤️

Thanks so much @Amdone123 for the support means a lot. How has your family stuff panned out ? Hope ok. You are doing extremely well. I'm out tomorrow evening (I can't get out of it as I organised it and it's under my name but if I really wanted to I could just drive?) That would help actually as I want to see my work friends but doesn't mean I have to drink. But I just think it's odd how I can neck bottles at home but when I'm out I can either be in or out. It's the thing at home which you relate to me with @Amdone123 I think? Maybe if I moved house ? Lol. When I was living at home back in the day I never drank , went to the gym all the time, ate healthy and I was so slim I miss those days....

No problem @Determineddoris ,hope you're feeling a bit better.
I think that's a good idea to drive. You can eat, at least. And if it doesn't bother you, that's great. Yeah, the home drinking is the problem for me. And going out, really ( it's why I stay in - every time I go out, I manage to show meself up).
My family issue is sorted really. It was just me being too sensitive to comments made. I ruminate too much !
When I was living at home, I was slim, healthy AND I drank too much .
Mind you, I was 19 🤣