On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat.

[Amdone123]

So, January is done and dusted - Praise the Lord. Following on from our last thread ( which was initially designed to help us moderate, but for some has - maybe - led to abstaining, thanks to how great they're feeling ), a new thread has been created.
So, if you're looking to abstain or want to moderate, or just need to chat in general, join us here.
Hallo to previous posters - onwards and upwards.

@Coppergate3 , hi and welcome. Of course you can join. You sound like you've been doing really well, but I hear you regarding old habits resurfacing.
I think not drinking from now til Friday sounds like a good plan. I'm sure you can do it. You probably just need to take one day at a time, and not think too far ahead. And 6 af days will reap great benefits so well worth it.
Day 1 of 6 nearly done ✅
P.s I would find it really difficult if my dh drank. The only thing I guess you can do is look after yourself really - you may inspire them once they see how great you're doing!
But yes, keep posting, daily if you want / need. I find, as do many others on here, it helps keep us accountable. We slip up, of course, but that's OK. We're trying ❤️

Thank you @Amdone123 !

Unfortunately, I've had to give up hope of DH been inspired by me anytime soon. I've seen inklings of it before but I'm going to have to change my lifestyle in a significant and consistent way before that is even slightly likely (married to 20 years!). I've got to accept that he makes my journey harder but it is still 100% down to me.

Planning a few things to keep my busy this evening and have some AF drinks in! Starting to feel some hope of escaping this cycle I keep getting caught in again :)

I cancelled my wine subscription. Had £60 in my account which is coming back to me so can treat myself to something non booze related. I feel relieved.

@GadgetArms , that's great ! Well done. Be nice to spend it on something non alcoholic - I'd buy bath stuff ( as I spend a lot of time in the bath), new pjs ( a lot of time in bed), and new bedding!

@Amdone123 I've got my eye on some nice new sunglasses for my holiday and some new make up (hopefully my skin will be better without wine).

Hello @Coppergate3 . I could pretty much have written this. My partner of 15 years drinks every day, is not interested in changing though I can occasionally get him to join me in an AF night. It does make it harder. I was more of a binge drinker when I met him 15 years ago but mainly at weekends. He ‘taught’ me that it was okay to drink alone, and okay to drink every day. So I ended up drinking every day but to excess. It’s taken a few years to get the amount I drink under control, now I need to get back to only drinking at weeekends.

I did some of dry November and dry January so I know I don’t ‘need’ to drink every day but it’s just become a very bad habit. I often hate my life.

Anyway…Its Monday morning in Oz and start of six week boot camp. I will not drink until Friday now.

It really helps seeing everyone else posting x

Good Morning Everyone,

Checking in for day one of my AF 7 day stint. @Amdone123 are you in?. I hope everyone hits their goals this week, I would love to hear what everyone's personal aims are this week.

Hello @Manyrivers

It’s about 5.15 Monday evening for me. I’m not working tomorrow so I would be thinking about drinking shortly but a determined to not drink until Friday. Feeling a little tense after an incident at work.

Good luck with your 7 days :)

Good morning! @Manyrivers , yes, I in. 7 days , let's go ! This will obviously include the weekend which I look forward to. Yesterday was ok, tad hungover, but when I couldn't sleep, I started to get really fed up. Anyway, that's done now. Let's do it.
@EnoughEnoughnow , how are you doing? Its evening where you are isn't it. Hope you're coping.

Thank you @Amdone123 Yes, it’s 9pm and I’m tucked up in bed with a warm malted milk drink and a book after a very productive evening :)

5.30 - 7pm is the difficult bit. Once I get past that witching hour I’m generally okay

Hello to everyone else. Hope you have a great day :)

@EnoughEnoughnow - sounds like a very similar situation with our DH's then!

He didn't help last night. I had a couple of hours of work I needed to finish off and whilst I was doing that he went to the shop and got more white wine in. Opened the fridge - saw it there, had some. I made some comment about getting better at this and he made it clear from him reply he has no intention of not drinking (I knew this though...).

So my challenge now is no alcohol Mon-Thu this week, get the weekend done and then decide what I'm aiming for.

Hope everyone is coping well with the hour less sleep!

@Coppergate3 @EnoughEnoughnow @Amdone123 all great realistic goals for this week.

I've had a nice day at work, finished early, got a good exercise session in and still on my way home thought "it would be lovely to finish off this day with a bottle of wine, a share size bag of crisps and some telly". Now I usually blame my drinking on stress or feeling low, but I couldn't use that today. Provoked me to think my wine habit I'd just that, habit that I've linked in my brain to relaxation and reward!

Anyway I let that thought pass through my mind, came home had a nice bubble bath and a refreshing glass of ginger beer. I'm about to cook dinner then relax, without wine or junk food. Here's to tomorrow and day 2 of our AF week!

@Manyrivers , that's brilliant, well done!
I definitely use it as a reward. I've left the warmth of my bedroom, my dog and Netflix and I've come to zumba 💯
Day 1 ✅

Go you @Amdone123 you will definitely feel better for it. I actually love exercising although looking at my body you can tell I've loved the wine more!! What I would tell my younger self indeed!

@Manyrivers , 🤣 - and, once again, exactly the same ! Day 2 here we come. Feeling positive for today. Yesterday was such a good, productive and happy day, that I know I don't need it to make my day.
Hope everyone is OK @Arrrrrrragghhh @Bigbus @Blackbirdbaby @Coppergate3 @Determineddoris @Easterdaffsx @EnoughEnoughnow @GadgetArms @Hohofortherobbers @Nomorethanthree73 @Swannyb @bilbodog @colouringindoors @indieray @stoppingnow , let us know hoe you're getting on - good or not so good ❤️

Good morning @Amdone123 thanks for the check in! Day 3 AF here. Not feeling miraculously amazingly better but certainly less shit and glad to not wake up with that uncertainty and checking texts!

@Bigbus , that's good, 3 af days. Keep going ! Oh god, the texting 🤣😩

@Amdone123

hi everyone - im still going strong here - 41 days AF so far!

ive noticed that im slowly starting to do more during the day and being less lethargic in general - although i still hate housework 🤪

Good luck to everyone here.

@bilbodog , wow ! You are going strong. 41 days is brilliant.
Well done 👏

Day 2 for me today .. thought I'd have to go to bed early last night since I had planned on going AF. But actually stayed up late, watching a show on Netflix. Think once it goes past 7.30/8 it dosent seem to be a problem for me. Hope everyone's doing good.

I've got Covid so I don't know if I'll even feel like going out and drinking this weekend. It's bad but good in a way.

Well done everyone. This is day 3 for me. Wednesdays and Thursdays aren’t as bad so should be okay until Friday now.

Sorry to hear you’ve got Covid @GadgetArms Hope you recover quickly.

@Coppergate3 I sympathise. I finished rehearsals yesterday and when I got home OH was already having a beer.

I was okay once I had a lemon and ginger tea which is a life saver :)

To be honest I find being AF quite boring. I know it’s good for me and a feel so much better in the long run and I don’t embarrass myself and I’ll hopefully be around longer for my kids by cutting down but I just find it a bit dull.

for those who have been AF for a while - does it get less boring? I guess you have time for hobbies and more sleep and lots of nice things. I need some positive encouragement!

thanks all!

Morning, all. Not good here. I went into work and basically I have realised that I am being massively taken advantage of. I'm annoyed at myself for not standing up for myself but I'm also really annoyed that someone who I thought was a friend could swindle me ! ( it's a question of 10 ish hours, so not a big amount money wise, but really is the principle)
I'm sorry I can't or won't bore you with details but basically I was so upset and hurt yesterday that I met my sister and we went on a pub crawl !
Sorry @Manyrivers , but fresh start today. I shall aim for 6 out of 7 !!
Hope you're all ok.
I am now unemployed - handed my notice in - but looking forward to a fresh start. I may get another job, but first I need to work on a few things !!
Hungover today, but trying to stay positive - I'll be fine.

@Amdone123 Good Morning, I'm sorry to hear of your work situation. Please do not apologise, we all know this is about progress and not perfection! Take some time to yourself today and just to process what's happened to you and how your feeling. No point in beating yourself up, be kind to yourself today as if your speaking to one of us on here 😊

I'm travelling today for work and already yesterday I've thought about if we will have enough time before our train home tonight to go for a drink! I seem to be hardwired into these thoughts.

Hope everyone has a great day, @Coppergate3 I hope your feeling better. @Bigbus I know what you mean about the boring feeling. I started off trying to replace my usual wine time with crafts (I'm not creative so don't know why on earth I thought that would work!) I didn't stick to that as I found it boring! Last couple of weeks I've been using exercise to fill my wine time and I'm enjoying that better. I'm guessing it's about forming new habits and seeing what lands with you.