On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat.

[Amdone123]

So, January is done and dusted - Praise the Lord. Following on from our last thread ( which was initially designed to help us moderate, but for some has - maybe - led to abstaining, thanks to how great they're feeling ), a new thread has been created.
So, if you're looking to abstain or want to moderate, or just need to chat in general, join us here.
Hallo to previous posters - onwards and upwards.

Morning, day 3 for me today, it really has been along time since I even got to day 3 before! @Amdone123 really sorry to hear about the work situation, that's tough! I'm sure something else will come along! @Bigbus I know what you mean about boring, I find that too but then so pleased the next day when I don't drink but back in the same place in the evening, wondering wat to do ! @Manyrivers Im like that, thinking ahead see if having a drink is an option, specially when your travelling with work!
I'm hoping to stay AF aswell this evening but kids have been poorly for the last week, there always seems to be something, they're such a worry , I get so anxious about them! Enjoy yer day

Thanks, everyone! I'm calm now.
I'd drafted my e mail resignation but dh calmed me down this morning. I do like the job, it suits me, etc, so I'll carry on.
I'm ok really with finding solace in the drinking. I was upset, I'm human. I know I can go af now for a period of time because I've done it before.
I've had a bacon butty, 2 paracetamol, a cup of tea, about to get a bath. I'll go to work with a smile on my face. At least I know who to trust now !
Have a great day, everyone ❤️

Hi everyone ! @Amdone123 im glad you are feeling better about the work situation! Hope you are feeling better overall as pp said be kind to yourself always ! I haven't been doing too well unfortunately and tonogjt is a big one and I'm nervous too (long story) about who I'm meeting so will make me want to drink more! Someone said upthread (sorry in so bad with tagging ) that it's hardwired into you the how, when, where I can drink that is my daily thought every single day from 10am (I don't drink at 10 but the build up is there from then) ridiculous really! Someone also has COVID ? I hope you are ok!!! I'm struggling with a lot of new emotions too so just finding solace in drink as @Amdone123 said but hey ho another new day to start tomorrow I can't get too wrecked tonight anyway as I have work tomorrow. Hope everyone is ok xx

@Determineddoris , thank you.
Yes, the word 'hardwired' struck a chord with me, too. I get the build up, too, although not like I used to.
Have a good night, you'll be ok.

@Amdone123 Well done for another day. Thanks for the name check. I’m on Day 36. Got a week and a bit to go until the end of Lent. It’s been surprisingly ok so far. Unfortunately I am smoking again because I crave “something”. I definitely feel better and getting on with DH better too.

However I’m going away for the start of Easter hols before Lent ends. I’m actually gutted about not drinking in all honesty. I just realised this will be the FIRST holiday EVER I haven’t drunk!!
I first went away at 17 when I went with my friends to Italy and got smashed on Asti all day, every day. I didn’t go away when pregnant ( he was conceived on holiday though😉) but I literally can’t think of any occasion I’ve been away without alcohol in the intervening 35 years.
The AirBNB owners have said they are leaving us a bottle of wine too. 😬It’s going to be tough.
And then a week to go. I’m alternating between planning which wine to have (there’s 3 bottles in the running) , thinking I won’t drink again after I get it out my system on Sunday and worrying that I won’t go back to sober again.

@Arrrrrrragghhh , well done on Day 36 - you're doing really well.
Gosh, I don't know what to say about the holiday! I'm with you, I have never had a holiday where I didn't drink. I've had holidays ( since being on here, actually), when I've been really mindful and not drank just for the sake of it, but never completely sober. I've had a few firsts, but I think a sober holiday would be the pinnacle - I'll know I've 'arrived' then 🤣.
Actually I go away in a couple of weeks and I'm planning af days. It helps that the people I'm going with don't drink though - they're more Foodies !
Hope everyone is OK. I'm good - was hungover yesterday, so hungry so healthy eating went to pot. And at one point during the day, my head hurt so bad, my eyes were painful. So wasn't worth it.
I'm happy to be af today.

Good Morning Everyone, and guess who is hungover! Yes those pre train drinks after work yesterday turned into me drinking far too much and getting pretty drunk. I am really annoyed with myself but determined to carry on being AF for the rest of the week. This feeling is not worth it, I feel sick, tired, ache all over and miserable. Why did I do that!!

@Manyrivers , I hear you !
Never mind, it was a blip. You've actually been doing really well and have made quite a few changes I think.
We're aiming for 6 out of 7 now !
Next target we set, we'll go one better.

Hi All! I am back from my short holiday... So, it was the most relaxing holiday we have had in forever. We own our own business so we never really get a break so that is a huge win.

Two of the four nights I woke up in the middle of night riddled with 'hangxiety' - my/our (?) new word. On three days where things got out of hand, I am pleased that I did stop (eventually) and switch to water.

We landed last night and I was hit with a mini bout of gastro which was pretty rough but glad it was after landing! lol

Feeling a bit of all over the place today. I am not going to let the drinking, hangovers and dodgy tummy put a cloud over what was a lovely trip, but I can't help but sit here wondering why do I do this to myself?! I think I have said it before, my body gives me seriously strong signs it doesn't do well with alcohol yet I insist on putting myself through it over and over again.

I have another short trip in 3 weeks so I am putting it out there that I am going 100% alcohol free until then. 3 weeks really isn't a long time to focus my attention on some self care.

I hope everyone else has been going okay? I can see I have about 30 posts to catch up on which I will do later!

Feeling a bit rotten this morning. I went out last night to a beer festival and actually did ok compared to previous beer festival experiences but I ate way too much as well as the beer then for some reason had a glass of wine and a whole bag of snacks when I got home - completely unnecessary and then I had a rough sweaty night. I feel like an idiot.

Good Morning, @Swannyb I get the confusion of the "cycle" I was hungover yesterday and thought similar thoughts to you, why do I do this to my body? I try to be healthy in so many ways then put this poison inside my body. Seems like madness, right?

@Bigbus The regret of the night before! I was in this mindset all day yesterday, try to be kind to yourself and get in some healthy habits today.

This weekend I'm looking forward to being AF. I'm starting to enjoy the space AF free evenings gives me instead of being bored and dreading it. I'm hoping to be AF for the next 8 days until I have a party. Then I need to consider moderation for that evening, after this week's shenanigans not sure moderation is working for me but the thought of going full time AF I'm still quite scared of, can anyone relate?

@Amdone123 hows your weekend looking?

Have a great day

@Bigbus ,awh, I know how you feel. I felt like an idiot on Tuesday ( instead of confronting and dealing with the issue, I went out and got drunk). Honestly, I wasted £60, sabotaged my healthy eating plan and made a tit of myself, nothing new there then.
Since Tuesday, I have worked so hard in putting it behind me, learning from it ( it won't happen again), and being positive / kind to myself. If I didn't do those things, I swear I'd just get depressed.
Try to accept it - you have said compared to previous beer festivals, you did better, so there's a positive. It sounds like the eating got out of hand, so maybe today, eat as healthily as you can. You don't have to, but it might make you feel better.
And I hear you regarding the bad nights sleep - it makes you feel awful. Are you busy today ? Can you rest ? I had to work Wednesday when I was pissed off / hungover - it was awful.
@Swannyb , sounds like you had a good time ! I think it's a great idea to try af for the next 3 weeks, you can do it. Keep posting here as I'd love to do some of it with you ( I'm away the 17th).
Well, a great day yesterday. Exercised - 19k steps and zumba, ate healthily, etc, was really positive and determined mentally to not let the work issue affect me too much. I'm still upset and angry, but that's OK.
Funnily enough, this past week I've only had 2 brilliant days where I've hit my target of exercise and eating properly - the other days were a disaster because bloody wine was involved.
As many say on here, why ? Why do I do it ?
I think sometimes because it is an addiction - I sometimes wonder if I need medical help 😩

I should add it was only a small glass of wine so it’s the beer and cheese that are the culprits but it’s the principle of the thing - the glass of wine was completely pointless. I’d already had enough to drink and I was only going to go to bed anyway so where was the benefit of it? How to get out of these habits? I was feeling good about myself the night before because I went to the theatre and had one glass of wine then had water with dinner afterwards and didn’t even want what more. I’ll have to take last night as a learning experience.

@Amdone123 and @Manyrivers thank you for your kind words! I’m feeling ok after a shower, some paracetamol and some Diet Coke (another bad habit!!). Just exhausted and annoyed with myself. But as you say, learn from it and be kind to myself and move on.

I hope everyone has a lovely day x

Hungover this morning. Stressed day at work yesterday and brought home a bottle of wine with me and wen that was gone, I convinced DH to go for another! As ye are saying "we do I do this to myself". Going to do an AF weekend, sick of feeling shite! Hope everyone has a great day.

@stoppingnow , I do that a lot ! Have an af weekend, you'll feel miles better. Post here if you feel yourself wobbling - we'll help.
@Manyrivers , hey, thanks for your message because actually I was just sat here, having tried all my new clothes on for a holiday ( and despite losing weight, very slowly - the clothes look great), and thinking, because I'm excited / on a high because I've just cleaned my bedroom, I think I'll drink today ! But, no, I'm not going to. I do have to pick my dog up from the groomers at 11am and thought I'll pop into tesco and buy some, but I'm going to leave my purse at home. I do need to pop in but only for milk - I'll take enough for milk only ! So, weekend will be af, as will next week really as I've nothing on.
I know I feel better not drinking - for a treat over the weekend, I'll have hot chocolate and chocolate ❤️💯

@Amdone123 I like your idea of having chocolate as your treat for this weekend. I think I’ll take something from that. If I’m going AF for the next 3 weeks, it would be unfair to expect myself to also be 100% ‘healthy’ too. Here’s to a balanced, happy, healthy, AF 3 weeks!

What’s everyone got on the cards this weekend? I’m going to put more effort into doing other activities which don’t involve alcohol! I’ve got a bit of work on but my non negotiables are one gym session, two big walks, only one coffee each day (😖), and do some organising of my wardrobe (not a very exciting weekend). Next long Easter weekend I plan to go for some bigger walks in nature in new locations and do a bit of exploring.

@Swannyb , oh, all that sounds great. I love being outside - I walk for miles with my sister, and we just laugh, as well as putting the world to rights.
It's hard regarding the treats as I'm supposed to be losing weight. But sometimes I think, I can't do everything ! I know not drinking saves me calories so there is that !
I've just done my wardrobe / bedroom. I was ruthless. Another 3 bin bags of clothes thrown out.
I've got to stop buying clothes 🤣

Good Morning Everyone and Happy April Fools Day!

When I turned over the calendar this morning it did make me reflect. A new month, what can I achieve? April Fools day a time to change my foolish habits? Very deep for 07,30am I know but I guess that's how my hangover free brain is working this morning!

I need to go into the office today to do a bit of work then just the usual housework etc planned. @Amdone123 I too have a holiday coming up and need to try on clothes and plan, thanks for the reminder of that. You sound like your being very productive. @Swannyb your weekend plans sound good, I too am trying to be healthy and exercise, it's such a mood boost.

Have a great day everyone .

I seem to have conquered Friday nights - 2 glasses of sparkling at wine o clock and one large glass of red later. Seems to be just right and I feel fine this morning. DD16 need collecting from a party later so that will keep me sober. @Manyrivers its so nice have a not hungover brain on a Saturday morning!

I’ve always thought I’d be all or nothing with alcohol but I didn’t want to be nothing so I feel really pleased that things are going in the right direction. I know I will fall off though from time to time and I have a holiday coming up too. Luckily DH is a more moderate drinker these days so that helps.

what I really need to work on is the wine monster who wakes up after 1 bottle and tells me to keep pouring as much wine down my neck as I can!

@Bigbus , oh, I've met the wine monster, too. Well done on moderating last night - that's really good. @Manyrivers great to be waking up hangover free. Tbh, I was a bit fed up last night. The eating healthier and the not drinking was making me feel like a nun! Dh asked if I wanted anything bringing home and I requested diet coke !
Proud of myself this morning. Got weighed - 2lb on - I'm not surprised. Went food shopping this morning and bought sparkling water. Was a bit tempted but I knew what would happen if I drank today. The wine monster would not have only visited, he'd have moved in !
I'm going to have a great result next Saturday. 7 days of eating properly, no wine, zumba etc.
Watch this space !
Have a lovely weekend, folks - keep playing it forward, and if you have a blip, just get back af as soon as you can.

Wine monster! I know him too 😂

Recovered from covid so going out tonight but trying to limit the damage by getting a lift home at 10.30 with a non drinker.

Hello everyone. Happy weekend!

@Amdone123 Sorry you’ve had a rough time at work. I was off sick last year on work related stress, which is when I got into the habit of drinking more than a litre bottle of vodka per week. Work stress will do it to you every time :( Good luck for this (healthy) week. Sounds like a plan :)

@Swannyb Glad you enjoyed your holiday. Sorry about the gastro :(

@Bigbus @Determineddoris I also get the ‘hard wiring’ Alcohol is the first thing I think about when I wake up. Not that I want a drink but a “Did I drink last night? How much did I drink? Did I phone/call/text/otherwise embarrass myself? Am I going to work today? Am I ‘okay’?” stream of consciousness runs through my head.

I did okay this week. I stayed alcohol free Monday to Thursday which was a big achievement for me. On Friday I measured out how much I was allowing myself and was sticking to it. Then I unfortunately checked my emails before bed to discover I’ve been badly let down by someone, and had three more vodkas in rapid succession. Consequently I spent Saturday feeling hungover. Anyway, my entire vodka allowance has gone for this week so no one or two drinks with Sunday dinner. AF Sunday to Thursday now :)

The annoying thing about Saturday was as soon as I went over my planned drinks I hit the fridge and had ham, cheese and chocolate so the 2lbs I’d lost has gone straight back on again. Lesson learned. Back to boot camp for me!

@EnoughEnoughnow , your bootcamp idea, I think, really works for you. Well done on the Mon to Thursday af - that is a great achievement. You can do Sunday to Thursday now, I'm sure you can.
I was thinking the other day, and when I read your post @EnoughEnoughnow , that I seem to do better being af than moderating. When I weigh up the benefits, and when I get on a roll of being af, it's best for me to me af. Because, like you said, I end up undoing all my hard work. I know being af is difficult, but I prefer it.
It's actually day 5 for me as I stupidly drank Tuesday ( never again will I let someone annoy me so much, I abandon my plans of being af !), and @Manyrivers , after today, I've done 6 out of 7, so I'm pleased with that.
Had a close shave yesterday. Got weighed, put on 2lb, could easily have said, feck it, I'm having a day off - I will drink and eat what I want and start again Monday. So happy today that I didn't. Had a lovely bath last night, face pack, nails, moisturised all over - dh and I were laughing through the night as my menopausal hot flushes combined with the moisturiser meant I was sliding and slipping all night ( not like that - those days long gone 😏)
Have a great day, folks !

@Amdone123 your evening sounds lovely. I have woken up after a really good nights sleep feeling well and wondering why I ever think drinking lots of wine is a good idea! I feel so much better for not doing it. I should be fine Sun-Wed as I will be working but after that it’s more tricky because I’m going to be on holiday.

yesterday I had two glasses of wine at lunchtime as I was at a restaurant. I didn’t have anymore and wasn’t remotely drunk. However at 6pm I almost had a panic attack. I used to have them in the middle of the night when I had been drinking excessively over a prolonged period. It’s horrible. A good reminder that it’s not worth it.

happy Sunday everyone